


We Are Shinobi

by Rosaline898



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU - Freeform, Complete, Developing Friendships, Discovery, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hatred, Self-Hatred, Struggle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 50,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24298108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosaline898/pseuds/Rosaline898
Summary: What is a Shinobi? Misaki often finds herself questioning that. From a small village, she had no choice but to become a ninja. Her leader needed her skills... but she wanted nothing more than to lead a normal life. Ninja from her small village die on missions and when she requests a leave, she's sent out of the village instead.How will she do when she is assigned a mission to Konoha? Will a certain ANBU change her mind about the Shinobi world, in spite of his own hatred for this life as well?What will happen when a strange figure saves Misaki's life then offers her a deal down a dark, unknown path?≪This story explores the world of Naruto, starting just before his birth. Drawing parallels from Kakashi's life to Misaki's, it narrows in on friendship, confusion, betrayal, hatred, and what it truly means to be a Shinobi.≫
Kudos: 1





	1. Suicide Mission

"But sir-" I am cut off by the angry sound of a fist against a desk. I wince under his glare and refuse to lift my head, remaining in my bowed position on the floor in front of him.

"-There are no exceptions to the program!" he roars. I am pretty sure I see one of the guards flinch at his anger. I stay silent, not daring to move a muscle. "Dismissed."

With that, I quickly make my way out of his office, avoiding all eye contact with him. I can practically feel his glare drilling into the back of my head.

I grumble to myself as I walk the streets of the quiet village. _Had I asked too much? Is it too much to ask to be dismissed of my ninja duties?_

Ninjas in this land don't go far. We're poorly trained and use cheap weapons because that's all our land can afford. When we're sent on missions against other lands and villages, we just end up dying. To me, every mission is a suicide mission.

To say you are a ninja of my land is the equivalent of saying you're a sacrificial piece of the Village of Dreams.

I take a deep breath of the moderately cool air as I walk back to my home. People stare at me when I pass. They turn to their families and friends, murmuring things while keeping their eyes locked warily on me.

I know they are pitying me. Of the 500 people in this village, only 25 or so are ninja. Most of our decently trained Shinobi died during the war. We're not sent on missions very often and most of our time is spent training to be prepared in the event our village is attacked.

Of that 25, ten are ninjas in training. Four teens and six children. The other teens are the only people I really talk to. What sucks is that I can't talk to them about girly things 'cause they're all guys. _Sigh._

I look up at the sky and see the clouds rolling by. _It's easy, a cloud's life. I'm envious._ The sun isn't out, leaving a grey sky. Arriving at home, I jog up the three flights of stairs and enter my small single-bedroom apartment.

Nobody is home. I live alone. After my parents found out I was bring elected as a Shinobi, they kicked me out. They didn't want to deal with the agony of their kid inevitably dying on a mission so they decided to just get rid of me... or something. They're both a bit traumatized-both their parents died in the second Shinobi war, and a bunch of their friends died in the third. They're not quite right in the head.

I quickly take a shower and walk to my bedroom. As I am grabbing clothes to sleep in, my eyes catch on a small picture frame in the bottom of my drawer. It is covered in clothes when I pick it up and wipe a layer of dust off.

My memory kicks in when I realize that the picture is from...

_"Please cooperate. You know Lord-Hiashi won't be pleased if we don't get this picture..." the camera man states, as he moves my white hair off my face._

_"I don't wanna be a Shinobi," I say. "I don't wanna die..." the last part I whisper more to myself than anyone. He adjusts his camera and gets behind it._

_"You need this picture, miss. It's what admits you into the ninja files." I look into the camera. No smile comes to my face. It takes everything to keep the water from spilling out of my eyes. The camera makes a snap. "Do you want to see it before I submit?"_ _I shake my head nonchalantly, a tear falling from my eye. He sighs, "I will take this to Lord-Hiashi now then." I watch as he picks up his camera and quickly makes his way toward Hiashi-Sama's office._

I look at my eleven-year-old self. I was a year younger than most of the graduates. My eyes showed resentment. The corners of my lips looked frowned ever so slightly.

My fingers skim the picture slightly before I place the frame back in the drawer.

Four years later, I never imagined I'd still be training hard every day. I know where my heart lies, and that's not in being a Shinobi. Yet, something inside of my keeps driving to become stronger. To keep training, despite my conflicting thoughts. _Stronger, stronger. You don't want this._ _More, more, harder. This life sucks. Don't stop training. You're not set out for this._ _Unbeatable. Your life is a death wish. Strive for perfection. You suck, you'll never be good enough. You have to get stronger. You'll never be good enough._

Hiashi-Sama summons me to his office on some sort of urgent means. So I run, all whilst sighing in the process.

When I get to the door, I knock.

"Enter," he states, clearing his throat.

I walk into his office and am slightly confused when I see two of the guards bowed before him. I walk in and bow, to the right of the two guards.

"You summoned me, sir?"

"Mhm," he grunts. "I'm going to send you on a mission, Misaki."

I feel my heart drop from my chest into my stomach and think for a moment that I might vomit. "A mission?" I gulp, eyes wide in fear. I don't look up from the ground.

"Yes," I hear him ruffling through some paper. "Ah, here's the one." My heart thumps heavily in my chest. I think about the pudding cup I ate for breakfast and immediately regret my decision as it threatens at the back of my throat. "You are to a retrieve a scroll..." he pauses for a brief moment, drawing out my death sentence, "from Konoha."

The knot in my stomach becomes huge and the pudding in my throat gurgles. I fight the urge. I've never been sent out of the village before. In fact, none of the teens have. Usually it's the adults sent on those types of missions.

I look up, locking eyes with Hiashi-Sama and notice he isn't glaring with his usually angry expression. He looks serious, as usual, but something is different... _softer._

"I believe in your skills, Misaki. These two guards will be accompanying you. Both are skilled in lock-breaking and investigation. With your combat skills and Genjutsu, I have full confidence in your team." I notice my jaw hanging open slight and quickly shut it.

"Y-yes sir." I mutter, eyes still locked on his. Shock fills my bones. _I am not ready to die yet._

"Stand up," he says. The three of us stand in unison and Hiashi-Sama walks over to us. He hands the middle guard a sheet with mission information on it. "Here is some intel from previous missions to Konoha. Info you will find useful on their guarding systems, gates, security, and dangerous ninja."

The middle guard nods, folding the sheet and placing it in his belt. The three of us begin to walk out when I hear an almost silent whisper from Hiashi-Sama. His words pierce through me, sharp as razor blades threatening to kill. _"Don't fail me._ "

Shivers run down my spine and I quicken my pace. The guards follow closely behind.

If you're ever given an option to travel on foot for five days, don't take it.

The air is different where we are now. The air back at the village is cool, all year round, and never changes. We've gone through the Land of Snow and Sand. Now, we are entering Konahagakure. So far we've traveled unnoticed by enemy lands.

You see, the Village of Dreams is in the Land of Clouds which is not a part of the allied nations or Five Great Nations. We're separated from everyone, hated and seemingly always in turmoil with others lands and villages.

I like the Land of Fire. It is a hot day but not scorching. The trees around give good protection from the hot sun and make the last day of travel pretty comfortable.

For a moment, I think I see the village gates. A few minutes later and my suspicions are confirmed. The walls are huge! Konoha is one of the Five Great Nations, so it's bound to be filled with skilled ninja too... fear jolts inside my chest.

"Hey, Mr. Guard guy-" I start and he cuts me off politely.

"You can call me Isamu," he says with a closed eye smile. "Oh, and this is Kamasha, but you can call him Kam." The other guard smiles at me, and I smile back politely. I'm surprised I haven't learned their names yet. We've been travelling for almost five days already. The time has gone really quickly though, and we haven't really talked much.

"Isamu," I correct myself. "What scroll exactly is Hiashi-Sama looking for?"

Isamu pulls the folded paper out of his belt, reading it as he says, "It looks to be a scroll that belongs to the Hokage..." my eyes widen, "...Flying Thunder God," he states.

 _Flying Thunder God?_ Sounds important. I wonder what it could be.

"Have you two ever been on missions outside the Village of Dreams?" I ask, just to make conversation.

"Yes," Isamu says. "Usually small scale ones."

"We've never been sent to Konoha though," Kam adds. His voice sounds nervous. _Me too, buddy._

There is a pregnant silence as we continue to get closer to the village gates.

"What about you?" says Isamu.

"Huh? Me what?" I snap out of my gaze.

"Have you ever been to Konoha?"

I pause for a moment as thoughts rush through my head. Thoughts about this mission, Konoha, war, _death_ -

"You okay?" Kam asks. I snap out of my thoughts again and nod.

"I've never been out of the village," I admit quietly. They both go silent and I can tell they are looking at me; the same eyes people on the streets always gave me back home. I decide to break the tension. "We need a plan."

They both nod in agreement.

"Who are the dangerous ninja to be aware of? Can I get a description of each?" Ismau nods and pulls the paper out again.

"Number three on the list is Itachi Uchiha, supposedly just a child. Eight years old." he says with a question-like tone.

"A child?" I repeat in awe. _Third on the danger list at only eight years old. I wonder how much training this child had to receive. And what his ability is._

"Two is the Hokage-"

I cut him off, "-There's someone ranked more dangerous than the _Hokage?"_ Shivers run through my blood. _What am I getting myself into?_

Isamu nods, "Let me finish. Apparently this Hokage is a humble man, never quick to judge. According to our intellects, he doesn't really kill hostages."

I raise an eyebrow, letting this information set in. "That's good to know," I say sarcastically.

"His name is Minato Namikaze, but most enemy nations know him as the Yellow Flash. He's extremely fast and can teleport or something."

"Damn," Kam says. I know we're all thinking the same thing.

"Well, if we're stealing _his_ scroll, it must be pretty valuable." I state, staring ahead at the gates getting closer.

They both nod, and we share a look of momentary fear.

"And the most dangerous," Isamu continues, his voice a sudden hush. "Is Kakashi Hatake."

The name rings a familiar bell, which must mean he's powerful. I've heard the name muttered around our village.

"Age is 16," he continues, "Became a Jonin at 13, killed his teammate, now an ANBU Black Op. He was the Fourth's student, and apparently he possesses the sharingan."

My hands clench at my side. _So dark, I hope I never have to come in contact with this freak._

"Wow," is all I say.

"He's the same age as you, Misaki..." Kam ponders. I know he's comparing my lack of ability to this ANBU. I'm not embarrassed. I don't ever want to be that powerful. With power comes pain. Darkness is the price for such power. Though, it would be useful on missions like these. Maybe if I was that strong, I would have a chance at living, or _not dying,_ rather.

There's that voice again. _Power. Stronger. Be better._

We soon reach the gates. It's quiet... almost too quiet. I approach with caution and look for guards. My eye catches on two men, both wearing green vests and navy clothing as well as Konoha forehead protectors.

I nod at Isamu and Mam and we all enter. To our luck, the guards aren't really on guard. In a deep sleep, one of them drools and the other snores loudly. _Nice security, Konoha._

We travel through back alleys and side roads, though I doubt we would be discovered on main streets. Our clothing looks underwhelming and we'd blend in quite well here. None of us had been to Konoha before, so we head towards the tallest building, supposing it's the Hokage's tower. A likely place for his scrolls to be stored.

We enter the tower, again being surprised by lack of security. We never let our guard down.

"Where would you keep scrolls?" Isamu whispers. I look around and see a metal door. There's a small sign above the door that reads _basement._

I nod my chin at the door and they both nod in agreement. We head to the door and Isamu turns the handle. _Of course, it's locked._

"No problem," Kam whispers, "I'll pick it. Keep watch for me."

We do and before we know it, a lock clicks open in the handle. I can see why Hiashi-Sama sent Kam.

As we step into the dark stairwell, I look one last time over my shoulder. In the corner of my vision, my eye catches some movement but it disappears before I can see it more clearly. Maybe it was my imagination. _It looked like a cat of sorts. Probably my paranoia,_ I tell myself.

We shuffle down the stairs, closing the door quietly behind us. Darkness envelops us briefly but Isamu quickly casts light with some chakra in his palm.

It's dark, and smells musky. I guess that's to be expected of a basement.

"Keep your voices low," I whisper. "Sound really travels in these corridors."

We come to a wood door. There is no window on it, or any indication of what's behind. Slowly, I twist the door handle and with a creek, it opens. Inside the room are shelves upon shelves of books and scrolls, extending from floor to ceiling. I pause for only a moment, taking it all in. It is extravagant compared to the single file-drawer of documents in the Village of Dreams.

"There are the scrolls," Isamu says, pointing to a shelf with several scrolls lined neatly like wine bottles on it's shelf.

We walk over and start searching the scrolls for _Flying Thunder God_. It could take a while, there are a lot of them here.

"Maybe you two should split up and start searching other rooms. I'm sure there's scrolls all over this basement," I whisper. They both nod and head to another door. I'm left in damp silence, scratchy paper noises the only sound in this cement room as my fingers search every scroll.

Less than a minute later and I hear the door open again.

"Find it?" I ask. There's no reply. I turn around but let out a scream when someone runs quickly my way. Before I can react, I'm pressed up against the wall, the person's hand holding me up by the collar. I try to wiggle loose but it's no use. In their other hand, a bright ball of blue chakra almost blinds and deafens me at the same time. Lightning bolts pierce the air and make a screeching sound that reminds me faintly of birds.

All my fears-all my visions of how I would die-come flooding back to me as the cat-masked figure holds me a foot off the ground by the collar, and looks up at me, jutsu in hand.

"What are you here for?" a boy's voice asks. He sounds young, but his voice carries an err of power and authority. I struggle to breathe and swallow, letting my eyes close tightly.

"I-I-" I struggle to get words out, my throat feels like it's locked in a tight knot.

"Stop!" another voice yells. Someone else enters the room. They also have a white and red mask and grey uniform. "Kakashi, we need her in one piece if we're gonna get any information out of her!"

 _Kakashi._ My heart jumps at the name.

"You-You're-" my throat croaks, "the k-killer!" Before I can realize what I'm saying, one of the eye holes in the cat-mask lights up read. The teenager's eyes fill with hatred and anger, more than I have ever seen in my life. Darkness seems to fill my heart.

I expect those to be my last moments but yelp in shock when he lets me down slowly. The ear piercing jutsu in his right hand fades to a crackle and finally disappears, leaving the room dark. His hand releases from my collar, but I still can't breathe. His eyes don't leave mine. I feel frozen in place, paralyzed.

"Let's take her to the Fourth. Tie her up."

My eyes are wide as the boy ties my hands. My jaw hangs open and legs shake relentlessly.


	2. Interrogation?

I'm brought up many flights of stairs until we reach a set of double doors. I wonder if Isamu and Kam made it out.

The other ANBU knocks on the door.

"Yes! Please enter!" a happy voice chimes. Their Hokage is certainly a lot different than Hiashi-Sama.

The doors are opened and I'm lead in. The ANBU who knocked bows but the silver-haired one holding me does not.

"Hokage-Sama," the bowed one says, "We found this intruder in the basement, looking through scrolls. We're unsure of the purpose of her invasion or who she is."

The one with bright yellow hair nods, serious and calm expression in one. "Thank you. You may rise. Kakashi and I can deal with her."

The ANBU quickly nods and leaves the room. The doors behind him shut.

"Kakashi, you may remove you ANBU mask. We don't need any formal interrogation, I'm sure this girl will speak up," Yellow-Hair says with a closed eye smile.

 _So calm, for the current situation,_ I think.

The ANBU boy lets go of his tight grasp on me and I stumble forward. He unties my hands and I rub my wrists where the ropes were.

Silver-Hair removes his cat-mask and I study his features. He doesn't look the freaky monster part I imagined him as. His face is covered by another mask, and his left eye remains shut with a large scar slashing through. The other eye is a dull grey in color. His hair reminds me of an old man, yet has more volume than I could ever dream of. _I wonder what products he uses._

"Allow me to introduce myself," the Hokage says kindly. I stare at him curiously, "My name is Minato Namikaze and I am the Fourth Hokage. What is your name?"

I raise an eyebrow at his gentleness and notice Kakashi looking at me boredly. For a moment, they don't seem like the two most dangerous people in Konoha and it feels like an escape would be easy. Then, I remember what Isamu told me about them. _Yellow Flash can teleport, Silver ANBU was Jonin at 13._ I suddenly feel very small and insignificant.

"Misaki," I say, answering the Hokage's question simply. I don't bother with my surname, seeing if I can push the limits.

"Ah, I see," he says, scratching his chin. His blue eyes glimmer in the sun from the window, and remind me of a small puppy. _Pfft, nice Hokage-puppy Konoha._ "You're from the Land of Clouds, am I right?"

I flinch when we states my land. _We don't wear forehead protectors. How could he possibly know where I am from?_

"You're wearing boots for travelling snow and cool layers suited for desert travel. Only land not in alliance with Konoha that would travel those lands to get here is the Land of Clouds.

_Impressive, Hokage... Observant._

I don't let any emotion to my face, but Yellow-Hair looks like he can read my thoughts anyways.

"What scroll are you after?" Kakashi asks, monotonous.

"None of your damn beeswax," I snap. Kakashi doesn't flinch and the Hokage stands up behind his desk, makes his way around, and stops in front of me. Everything in me tells I should be afraid. I am standing beside the two most powerful people in the Hidden Leaf Village. But the Hokage's soft eyes lock on mine and he places a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Stand up," he says, compassion in his voice. I stand to my feet and come to a head below his height. _He's really tall, considering what a softy he is. He could still kill me if he wanted to._ "You're from the Village of Dreams," he states knowingly. He doesn't need to see the look of shock in my eyes as confirmation. "The Shinobi life wasn't really your life-plan, huh?"

For a moment, I wonder if he can truly read minds. Maybe this is a dream. Nothing happening right now feels real. I should be dead, or locked up in a dark prison somewhere deep underground. Instead, I am taken by surprise with the kindness of the Fourth Hokage. A warmth fills my body, one I haven't felt in years. _One I haven't felt since my parents still loved me._

I fight to hold back the tears. The Hokage searches my face with those kind blue eyes. _He'd be a good father,_ I think to myself. For a moment, I am jealous of someone I don't even know. His child, whoever it may or may not be. I don't even know if the Hokage has any children already. For a few moments, I forget the purpose of my mission and life and bask in the father-like warmth of his sparkling blue eyes.

It's like the words are part of a dream. The words are clouds themselves, echoing in my head and sounding too good to be true, "How would you like to stay in the Leaf Village for a bit?"

I'm nodding as the boy beside me drops his jaw behind his form-fitting mask. "Minato-Sensei!" Kakashi bursts. _So he does have emotions._ "That's barely reasonable, letting an intruder stay in the village without any interrogation at all." Minato sends him a look and Kakashi shrivels under his glare. _Like a child would a scolding father._ He lowers his voice, sounding less demanding but snarling all the same, "She's probably a spy. I see no reason to trust her, Hokage-Sama."

Minato nods in understanding and turns back to me. "We will keep watch on her, 24/7. Kakashi, you're relieved from watching Kushina. I will assign another ANBU to her for these final days of her pregnancy." Kakashi looks like he's about to retaliate but holds back grudgingly when the Hokage sends him another one of those scolding glares. Instead, Kakashi bows his head, while slipping his cat-mask back on.

"Yes, Hokage-Sama."

"I'm still convinced you're a spy," Kakashi says as he walks alongside me towards the south-end apartment complex. His voice has regained the monotonous tone from before. It's like he becomes a different person when that mask goes on. "Don't think about trying anything stupid. I can crush you if I want to."

The threat sends a shiver down my spine as I remember the ball of screaming lightning from earlier.

As we approach the two-storey apartment complex, he hands me a key from the pouch in his grey vest. "I'm sure you can find 5."

I nod and take the key, holding it tightly in my fist. I make my way to the staircase to go up and when I turn to look back at Kakashi, he is gone. But I know he is sill watching me from the shadows. I sigh, _this is gonna be a long night._ How am I supposed to escape with him watching me?

The key fits perfectly into the lock of apartment 5's door and it slides open with ease. When I step in, I am overwhelmed by a fresh, clean smell-like fresh wood. The apartment was like a studio apartment with everything contained in the same room. It wasn't massive by any means, but pretty sizable for a single person. Beside me, the wood transitions to a patch of tile with a counter, sink, fridge, and stove. Another small door leads to a basic bathroom with a tiny step-in shower, sink, and toilet.

A cushion-bed in the middle of the wood floor beckons me, and I drop, suddenly feeling the exhaustion of the last five days' journey. For a moment, it feels like my apartment at home. When I close my eyes, I can imagine a life here for a brief moment. I wonder if the Hokage would let me live my life as I want.

Living a regular life, not as a Shinobi, is a strange concept and feels weird to think about. I've only ever known life as a ninja and suddenly, when it seems I might have a chance to finally resign, everything feels wrong. The voice returns, interweaving in my dreams.

_Keep training. Work harder. Don't quit. You hate this life. This isn't what you want. You're worthless without it._

I snap out of my doze to a knock on the apartment door. I crawl off the foam cushion and walk sleepily towards the door. When I open it, Kakashi stands there holding my small backpack. I must have dropped it in the basement when I was looking through the scrolls.

"We went through it," he says slowly. "Removed the weapons. But everything else is still there." He shoves the bag into my chest and I grab it, sending Kakashi a grumpy glare.

"Thanks," I mutter, holding it close to my chest. A moment of awkward silence draws between us in the open doorway. "Can I ask you a question?" Kakashi rolls his single open eye behind the cat-mask and steps past me through the doorway.

"I knew you were a spy," he says nonchalantly.

"Was that an attempt at some dry humor?" I chuckle. Kakashi shrugs and takes his ANBU cat-mask off.

"You gonna ask the question or not? I have better things I could be doing."

I twiddle with my fingers for a moment. I feel embarrassed to ask such a simple question. I also feel shameful for asking it. I can hear Hiashi-Sama's answer in the back of my head. "Why do people become ninja?" Hiashi-Sama would have told me _duty, responsibility to my village, a way to be useful._ Kakashi peers at me in slight confusion. "What... what does it mean to be a Shinobi in this village? Just to die... be killed without reason. It's all so pointless."

His eyes shimmer with pain. I know the look as I have seen it on myself in the mirror.

His voice has lost its lazy monotone and is spiked with emotion I never thought the ANBU was capable of. "Ninja don't die for no reason... they live to die for the ones they care about... to protect their village and-" the last word is barely audible, "-comrades."

He leaves the apartment without another word, sliding his ANBU mask on and disappearing into the night air. _Had I said something wrong?_

The light shines bright in my eyes and I cover them with my arm, in attempt to fall asleep again. My attempt fails so I roll out of bed. Sleep didn't come easy last night. Worried thoughts ran through my head and turned to nightmares. Were Isamu and Kam okay? Had they found the scroll? Are they coming back for me?

_If they do, will I go back with them?_

I catch movement in the corner of my eye. Quickly, I turn towards the window and notice a brown-haired ANBU leaving, another one taking their place. I recognize this one anywhere-a cat-like mask and grey hair more voluminous than those shampoo commercials.

With a sigh, I walk over to the window and open it.

"Night watch must suck," I state, "Lucky it's not you."

Kakashi doesn't move, and stands still as a statue. With another sigh, I close the window and draw the curtains tight. I change quickly, throwing my outfit from yesterday back on over my undershirt. Slipping on my shoes, I grab an energy bar from my bag and head out the door.

The morning air is warmer than the cool air that covers my village in the mornings and the streets are already packed with people bustling about. The food smells amazing and colorful clothing vendors draw my attention but I keep walking, trying not to make eye-contact with anyone. _Would they even know I don't live here?_

Again, the prospect of forgetting my old life and starting a new one here tempts me.

I can see Kakashi following behind me, staying in the shadows of buildings. This 24-hour watch thing is starting to get annoying. I hate the feeling of being watched all the time.

As I walk, following various signs pointing to the training grounds, I think about what the Hokage said yesterday. _Did he really want me in this village, or was this just one of his ways to investigate me?_ A rather odd method of investigation, I'd say.

I'm not even sure what my intentions are. Hiashi-Sama would not be pleased to find out that I failed my mission. I can picture his wrath. He might just kill me for it. At the same time, I can't help but miss the Village of Dreams. It's my home, and though I don't want to admit it, my family. Even though my parents disowned me years ago, I still can't find it in me to forget and leave them.

But what if I _were_ to stay here? Maybe the Hokage would allow me to live as a normal villager. _I could have the life I've always wanted..._

Before I know it, I reach one of the training grounds. It's much bigger than the one in the Dream Village. As I walk into the clearing, I take in my surroundings.

Three wooden posts stick out of the ground and to the right of them is an odd looking polished stone. I approach it and look closer at the metallic stone. Engraved in it are hundreds of names, some fading with age and weather and others newly scratched and sharp. There's a fresh bouquet of flowers on the platform and an orange pair of goggles. The goggles look beat up and weathered but the flowers are fresh-maybe just put there this morning.

My eyes trail to the top of the stone where three large letters stick out.

KIA.

_KIA?_

"Killed In Action," a voice states. It startles me at first and I turn swiftly. Behind me stands a cloaked figure, his face impossible to see behind a white and black mask and shadows. The black lines on the mask whirlpool into a single eye-hole.

"Do you know anyone on here?" I ask curiously, keeping my caution. I'm comforted in the fact that nothing can happen to me while Kakashi is watching.

The figure doesn't move. "I guess you could say that," the cloaked figure says strangely, with emotion I cannot place. He sounds my age.

"It must be so hard... Dying for a mission. I thought only people in my village died on missions, that we were the only ones... I guess other villages are weak too-"

The voice cuts me off in harsh words, "-These people were _not_ weak," he snarls, "They died with great honor, sacrificing themselves for their comrades!" I'm startled by the figure's outburst and turn back towards the stone, all while taking a step away from them. They're just feet from me. But they can't hurt me, not while Kakashi is watching.

"Sorry..." I mumble. People from my village never died for a good cause. They were sacrifices, tools, pawns in a game where failure was the only outcome and to which there was no end. As I look at the stone, I think about the names on it. "Hey, just what does it mean to be a Shinobi in this village?"

"Didn't you already ask that yesterday?" a familiar voice remarks behind me. I turn swiftly and see Kakashi standing behind. Shaking my head and rubbing my eyes, I try to clear my head.

"Where'd the other guy go?" I exclaim. I can't see Kakashi's face behind the ANBU mask but I can tell he's sending me a confused glare.

"What other guy?"

"The one with the cloak..." I whisper, looking around and searching the treeline. But there's no trace of anyone.

"What are you talking about? I've been watching you this whole time," Kakashi says boredly. "Nobody else was here." Eyes wide, I look back to the stone and take in a deep breath. _I am truly convinced that I'm going crazy._

If only to break the awkward silence, I ask Kakashi, "Do you know anyone on here?" There's a pause as the wind ruffles the leaves above.

"Yes," he says simply. More silence follows and I suppose that he isn't gonna say much more until he steps beside me, joining at the front of the platform. "The names of my comrades are on this stone. Former classmates, ANBU acquaintances, and my best friend..." he stops again and I hear him take a deep breath. "Obito Uchiha."

My eyes find the name on the rock rather quickly. It isn't hard to find, with its sharp and newly scratched edges.

"How long ago?" I whisper, careful not to prod too much.

"Two years ago... during the end of the Third Shinobi War." Kakashi's voice is laced with pain, remorse emanating from his words.

I don't prod any further. Kakashi stares at the stone for a while. Eventually, I go back into the clearing and lay down on the grass, letting the hot sun sink into my skin. Sleep comes easily.


	3. Decisions

I hear a noise which wakes me from my sleep, and sit up groggily.

"You're finally awake?" Kakashi says. He's sitting on top of one of the wooden posts. I rub my eyes and look around again. The sun is mid-sky, it must be past noon.

"How long was I out for?" I ask.

He shrugs, "Few hours."

I sigh and stand up, wiping the dust and grass off my back. I begin to leave the training ground, yawning in the process.

"Where are you going now?" he asks, appearing in front of me and stopping me in my steps.

"Does it really matter to you?" I bark, annoyed by this babysitter situation. "You have to stalk me wherever I go anyways."

I go to push past him but he grabs my wrist. I glare at him in frustration, "Well, I sorta wanted to go see Minato-Sensei..."

I sigh and shrug as he lets my wrist go, "Fine. Not like I have anything better to do." I think I see him smile-that's an odd thing to say because his face is covered by an ANBU mask that has only eye holes but his grey eye softens for just a moment and the tension drops.

Even as we walk to the Hokage's tower, by Kakashi's own request, he still keeps close watch on me. He doesn't walk beside me in the streets. Must be something about avoiding people... I don't blame him. I often feel the same way. _People are exhausting._

When I turn down a less busy street, he jumps into stride beside me. "Who knew that a mission to retrieve a scroll would turn out with me being practically handcuffed to a lazy-ass ANBU Black Op." I get no reaction from him.

We arrive at the Hokage's office and I go to knock but Kakashi pushes the door and walks right in before I get the chance. I huff, _what a big-headed guy. No respect._

"Ah, Kakashi. Nice to see you," the Fourth says with a closed eye smile. "And Misaki, how was your first night?"

"Fine," I reply, forcing a smile. I'm still not thrilled about the whole babysitting thing.

"Really? 'Cause you told me you didn't sleep at all," Kakashi added. I send him a glare, wrinkling my nose and sneering my teeth at him. He looks back at the Hokage, ignoring me.

The Fourth chuckles and scratches the back of his head, accompanying a closed eye smile. "I see you two are getting along well."

I put my hands up in the air beside my shoulders. "When can I be trusted, Hokage-Sama? Because it's exhausting being watched 24 hours a day, especially when it's _him."_ I point my chin towards Kakashi, "He's annoying."

The Hokage chuckles again while he watches his student send a snarling glare back at me. Then he enters into thought for a moment, "You're planning on staying here in the Leaf then?"

I bite my lip. I knew this question was coming, but I didn't really formulate my answer. I don't feel like spilling my guts to these guys so I go with an easy answer, "Hiashi-Sama might kill me if I return without that scroll." It's not a lie. It's also not a clear answer... it could mean anything-that I'm choosing to stay because if I go he'll kill me... _or_ that I'm not leaving until I get that scroll. I'll let the Hokage decide how to interpret it because I'm not even sure how I feel about it.

He takes it in stride and searches my face again. _Damn mind reader._

"Here's what I propose," he chimes. I listen intently. "You see, it's October 8th and my wife is having a baby any day now. How about you spend some time with her? She'd probably appreciate another female... _she's very emotional,"_ he winks.

I chuckle at that, remembering when my mom was pregnant with my younger sister. The memory of my mother makes my heart ache.

Hokage continues, "You'll still be under ANBU watch because I have them watching Kushina, in case the baby comes." I can see a strike of fear in his face for a brief moment. Kakashi breathes deeply beside me. "You are aware that she is the nine-tails jinchuriki, yes?"

I shake my head, pretty confused. _Jinchuriki._ I recognize the word from my years at the academy in the Dream Village but can't seem to recall its meaning.

Kakashi is very quick to speak, taking his ANBU mask off briskly. "Sensei, I don't think you should be sharing all this information with her..." he sends Minato a glare and Minato puts his hands up in defense with a closed eye smile.

"Gomen, gomen," he looks back my way. "So what do you say, Misaki?"

The softness in his voice still brings me a strange comfort. I nod and the Hokage looks very pleased.

"Great!" he exclaims, pulling out a piece of paper, nodding me over to his desk. I comply and look down at the paper. It's a Hidden Leaf Village profile, covered in blank boxes for information all about citizens of the Leaf. "Let's get you filed."

If I were to decline, he might get suspicious of my intentions, if he isn't already. But giving this much info... doesn't feel right. If I were ever to flee, they'd know too much about me. Certainly their ANBU could hunt me down.

"I get that you're still getting comfortable here," the Fourth says softly, his blue eyes seeing right through my wall, "But I'd feel more comfortable having this information, in case anything were to happen." I can't quite read his voice. He's certainly mastered deception, something I still have to work on.

"No problem, Yondaime." I sit down at his desk and he smiles. Kakashi pulls a chair up too.

"I don't feel like standing anymore," he says lazily, slumping in his chair. _He's like two entirely different people with and without that mask,_ I think.

The Hokage starts asking me typical questions such as my name, age, chakra type...

"Misaki Kurama, 15, water and lightning," I reply nonchalantly. At the corner of my vision, Kakashi raises an eyebrow.

"Water _and_ lightning?" he tries to mask the shock in his voice but it seems he's not very good at deception either.

"Yes," I reply truthfully, "I was born with them, don't really know much else."

Minato scribbles it down, "Do you have any other special abilities?"

I sigh internally, knowing there's no going back now. If I say no, the Fourth Hokage will see right through my lie. I decide to tell a half-truth, and hope it works on him, "Nothing that important." It's only half true because it _is_ a special ability, by definition. But my Genjutsu is my best trick and I'm not going to reveal all my best best cards.

Minato nods and for a moment I think I've tricked him. Then I'm reminded that deception is not my best skill, and Kakashi is literally trained in _perception_. "The Kurama clan are Genjutsu users, right?" Kakashi looks sidelong at me, the bored expression glued to his face. _Damn it Kakashi._

"Yes," I answer, keeping a straight face.

"What about your origins?" Minato prods. I take a breath and let it out slowly, audibly.

"You want to know about my family?" Minato nods and I bite my lip again, drawing blood this time. "I'm the only ninja, one of the unlucky ones selected because Hiashi-Sama wanted my-" I stop myself, drawing a quick breath. I almost told them about my Kekkei Genkai. "Skills." I quickly finish.

The Fourth nods and writes more things down, not looking my way. _I wonder if he knows._

"Thanks Misaki, this should help me know where to place you." he says.

"Place me?" I burst, standing. I sit back down and calm myself. "You know how I feel about the Shinobi life," I say quieter. It feels a bit like a betrayal.

Minato's looks at me with sad eyes but quickly composes himself. "You see, if the Elders found out I'm letting you stay without consequence or interrogation..." he pauses, trying to find the right words, "but, if there's reason to keep you... utilize your skills-"

I cut him off, suddenly not caring about keeping my composure. "You're no different than Hiashi-Sama!" I slam my hand on the desk, which shocks Minato. Kakashi doesn't even flinch. "Uses me for my powers, giving me no say, using me like a _pawn!_ "

Minato composes himself much quicker than I do and stands behind his desk, towering over me. His voice turns hard, something I didn't expect from the Hokage-puppy.

"The only way for you to stay here is to be put to some sort of duty," his words come out confidently, with authority that makes me shrink back into my seat. "The Leaf Village can certainly benefit from your abilities, Misaki. It's that or we formally interrogate you and send you back to your own village."

The thought of formal interrogation makes bile rise to the back of my throat. Their ANBU Black Ops units were harsh enough, I can't imagine what kind of interrogation unit they have. I look to Kakashi who keeps his head down, eyes trained at the floor. I wonder if he knows stuff about the interrogation unit. I'm sure he's taken many criminals there, maybe even witnessed the interrogations. Kakashi's sudden coldness at mention of the topic strikes fear in me.

I nod, understanding what the Hokage is saying but feeling frustrated nonetheless. I guess it's pain wherever I go; home, here, it doesn't matter. The Shinobi life is a curse I can never get away from.

Almost in perfect timing, as if Minato read my thoughts again, he asks one last question. "What rank are you in your village?"

My eyes widen by the slightest millimetre, but I keep my head down. Maybe he won't be able to read me if he can't see my face.

"Chunin," I lie, "Just got promoted last month."

I'm not sure if the lie worked. Either way, Minato scratches it into the paper.

"Okay." he says. "Kakashi will show you to Kushina now."

I nod in obedience, feeling my usual small self again, and leave the room. Kakashi follows closely behind, but he doesn't try to talk to me this time. _Thankfully._

The apartment is a lot smaller than I would expect of a Hokage. I expected some fancy mansion with fancy butlers and fancy decorations... instead, it's a simple one-floor, two-bedroom apartment with one bathroom, an office, and a kitchen and living space.

My welcoming is melodramatic, as you would expect of a woman about to give birth any day now. She welcomes me into her home with a big, pregnant bear hug, just about toppling me over. She talks a million miles a second about various things, and offers me every kind of food that exists in this apartment.

The weird thing is that she doesn't even know who I am yet. I just knocked and walked through the doorway and this is how she reacted.

"Uh, Kushina-San," I say tentatively. She perks up, listening intently for the first time. I swear her eyes could pop right out of their sockets. "You don't even know _who I am_ yet."

She giggles like a child before returning to a more humanized state, placing a hand on my shoulder like her husband did that first time he met me. "Of course I know who you are, Misaki! Minato told me all about you last night!"

I squint my eyes, wondering what he had told her. I don't want to ask her while Kakashi is around, refusing to seem vulnerable around him. He sets me on edge.

"I'm heading out then." Kakashi waves once in a single motion and before leaving asks, "Kushina-San, when's the baby due?"

Kushina let out a soft smile and her hand rubbed circles on her massive baby-bump. "The 10th," she says sweetly, but there's an edge of fear in her voice.

Kakashi's eyes gain that same emotion that I can't decipher... worry, maybe? "I hope it goes well," he says, but his voice is quiet. It didn't sound like a happy encouragement.

Kushina nods, still rubbing circles on her big belly. She casts him a sweet smile and he leaves. Before closing the door quickly behind him, he puts his ANBU mask back on, hiding the troubled expression filling his features.

Immediately, Kushina changes the subject eagerly, "Want some tea?"

"Shouldn't you be sitting, Kushina-San?" I peer down at her large belly and back up at her blue eyes. She looks determined and enthusiastic.

"Pfft! Sitting is for lazy-pregnant-losers!"

"But you _are_ pregnant," I state bluntly. She chuckles and heads to the kitchen.

"But I'm not a lazy-loser, Misaki-chan!"

I can't help but smirk. She heads into the kitchen and starts preparing the tea. I find my way to a couch made of soft, mellow-green fabric. As I sit, I scan the room curiously. I spot a picture frame beside the couch and pick it up.

It's a picture of an old lady with long, brownish-red hair. On top of her head sits two buns, one on each side.

"You're probably wondering who that is," Kushina says as she sits across from me on the matching mellow-green chair, placing two mugs of steaming liquid on the coffee table between us. "That was Mito Uzumaki. one of my respective clanswomen." Her eyes sadden. "She died, but before she did she made me the nine-tails jinchuriki. She was the first Hokage's wife. Ironic, isn't it?" Kushina giggled, cheeks turning a blush pink. I could see the fear peeking through her laugh clear as day.

I nod and place the picture back on the side-table. As I do, I think about all the ninja of this village. The ninja in our village rarely become Chunin, most remaining Genin for life. Here, children at the age of 12 were Genin! It's remarkable.

"Uh, Kushina-San," I ask quietly. "What did Lord Fourth tell you about me last night?" I want to know what he gathered about me before I told him.

She gives me a confused look before shaking it off. "Well, he told me you came from the Village of Dreams, gave me a basic description of your looks... I was in awe that you had long, white hair. I love your hair!" she adds, giggling. I find myself blushing. I've always hated my hair, thought it makes me look like a granny. "And he told me that you were here on ' _unimportant matters_ ' and didn't say much more."

I nod, and send her a fake smile. _Unimportant matters, huh?_ He either genuinely doesn't know what scroll I was here for, or decided not to tell his _very_ pregnant wife about it.

From there-on, Kushina and I have small conversations. Kushina is a soft lady and she's really easy to talk to. I end up telling her about my parents... about my home situation and how they kicked me out when they found out I was becoming a ninja-which makes her cry dramatically-and I spoke to her about my confusion. It felt good to let it all out, even though I know she'll probably tell Minato.

I don't think he'd think much of it if he found out anyways. All I told her was that I was confused as to where I am supposed to be in life. That I don't want to be a ninja but that even if I stay in this village, I can't escape my fate. She seems confused when I associated the generic 'Shinobi life' with ultimate death. But I think, in some strange way, she understands me.

She shares memories of being a young ninja. When she was my age, she was kidnapped and saved by none other than Minato Namizake himself. She didn't want to be a ninja either at times in her life, explaining the stress of taking on the nine-tailed beast and becoming its jinchuriki.

I guess I'm not the only one who goes through crap. And in spite of it all, here she is, happy with her life. _Maybe it's just optimism,_ I think to myself.

I just wish I knew how to be like her. She's definitely an admirable Kunoichi. _She_ seems to know deep in her heart what it means to be a Shinobi. I long more than anything for that wisdom.


	4. The Offer

"I can't believe you," the ANBU states. There's vast silence except for the ruffle of the leaves around.

"Kakashi-please! Try to understand..." I try to defend myself but wince under his glare when his Sharingan activates beneath his mask.

"You know I can't let you leave... Not now, not after everything!" he exclaims, throwing a kunai in my direction very quickly. I step to the side and it just misses my shoulder. "You've taken away everything I had left!" His voice is getting louder, anger infuriating the teenager's features. I dodge another kunai.

My head falls low to the ground, and guilt floods over me. "I had no choice..."

"Don't lie to me! It's because of you that Kushina and Minato-Sensei died!" he explodes, running towards me with lightning-like chakra forming in his hand. "Just when I was actually starting to think of you as a _friend!_ "

He has me pinned up against a tree with one hand, the other hand letting out a piercing sound, resembling a thousand birds. The light from his chidori almost blinds me. Tears stream down my face. My left hand radiates with pain as blood drips furiously from a deep wound.

But the memory of how I got the cut hurts more than the wound itself.

I don't even try to plea anymore. _My fight is over._

* 42 hours earlier *

The sun is just beginning to rise. I stretch and walk over to the small window of this single-room apartment graciously provided to me by the Hokage. It's October 9th and Kushina's child is due to come any time.

Quickly, I slip on some clothes and step outside. The air this morning is it's usual warm. Well, warm compared to the Dream Village.

I know I need some sort of plan. I figured out, through lots of sleepless thought last night, that I cannot stay in the Hidden Leaf Village any longer. If I don't go home willingly, Hiashi-Sama could send people for me and my punishment when I get back could be way worse. I've already formulated a story of how I was captured and kept hostage and escaped. Hiashi-Sama will believe it, he's not as deceptive as the Yondaime.

I find myself at a hill, going up on top of the Hokage Momument. The overview of the Hidden Leaf Village is spectacular. I can see the whole village, every street and building. The trees rustle on the far side, and the sun rises in the east. _Oh, how I wish I could stay._

It feels nice to just sit and let myself do nothing. No worrying, no thinking... just peace as the morning air blows through my hair and on my face.

My peace is interrupted. Footsteps approach from behind and I grunt at Kakashi for interrupting my peace. I sit up and run a hand through my hair, "What is it this time, baka?"

Turning, I quickly stand and grab a kunai out of the holster on the side of my leg, provided to me by the Hokage. There stands a figure in a black cloak. The same one from yesterday at the KIA Stone. His mask has a single eye-hole.

Slowly, tentatively, I lower my kunai to my side but refuse to put it back in the holster. "You're that one from the KIA Stone yesterday." I murmer.

He takes his hood down but not the mask, revealing jet-black hair. I can only see darkness through the eye-hole. He is around my height.

"So you're waiting for just the right time to steal a scroll and leave the village, huh?" he asks. I flinch and steady myself, positioning one foot behind the other. My grip tightens on the kunai. _How did he know my plans? Who is this guy?_

"What are you talking about?" I reply quietly, trying to act as if I know nothing about this. He never moves, just speaks strangely.

"I have an offer to make you," at this, I listen carefully, "But first, you must assure me of something."

"What is it?" I ask the figure. I take a step towards, straining to see through the darkness under the mask but nothing.

"I need to know that your mind is made up. That you're not attached to this village and its people. Especially not Namikaze, Uzukami, and Hatake..." it takes me a moment to think about the three he lists. I'm not familiar with last names yet. _Kakashi, Minato, and I'm assuming his wife Kushina._ Minato and Kushina are nice, but I want to hear what this cloaked guy is about so I shake my head, squinting at him with a serious look.

"I'm here for the sake of the mission," I affirm. I wait for the cloaked figure to speak.

His voice is low, I have to step in to hear him, "My offer," he says slowly. "I will help you retrieve the scroll you're looking for, but you must do something for me..."

"What must I do?" I mutter, sliding the kunai back into the holster. _This catches my interest. I get the scroll, I return to my village, Hiashi-Sama is pleased. Maybe he'll even let me resign._

"I've been examining you, for the last couple days..."

"Stalker," I huff. He isn't phased.

"I know you're not the rank you claim to be." I stiffen as he moves even closer. He could whisper in my ear.

"What's your point?"

"You see, I'm on a... _mission..._ too. I am going to destroy the Hidden Leaf Village... reasons that aren't your concern. I could do it on my own..." his whisper sends chills down my spine, "but it _would_ be a lot easier with your help... especially with your _kekkai genkai_."

I inhale suddenly, and the air feels colder. "...how did you know?" I mutter, eyes wide.

He shakes his head and laughs, an evil laugh straight out of a horror film. "I saw the file that the Yondaime made of you. He knew you were a dangerous Jonin. Just because you come from a small village doesn't mean you don't make it into the books, Misaki Kumara."

"Get to the point," I snarl.

He lets out another evil chuckle. "I want _you_ to assassinate the child."

_The child?_

"The newborn baby that is to come, kill it. I can't have the Hokage sealing the nine-tailed fox inside that baby or my plans will be _crushed!"_ His arm swipes across the air, the long cloak sleeve following in a swift _woosh_ as if he's throwing something away.

I furrow my eyebrows. I've never killed anyone before... and a _newborn?_

"Are you having second thoughts, Misaki? Because if that's the case, our deal is _off_ and I might have to kill you. You already know too much."

He leaves me with no choice. Much like everything else in my life, I have no say in the matter. It's abide or die.

"I'll do it." I croak, voice threatening to fall out from under me. "I will kill the child."

There is silence. Wind comes and blows the figures cloak and jet-black hair. " _Good..._ meet me here the hour Kushina Uzumaki goes into labor," and with that, the figure is gone in a whirlpool of fog. I have to take a step back from the force of his disappearance. It threatens to blow me right over.

I fall to my knees, tears falling freely when I realize what I have just accepted to. I have to kill an innocent baby... one belonging to a kind mother and father... _Stop_! I tell myself. I can't let my feelings get the better of me; it's do it or die. _Let it all out now, Misaki. You can't afford to falter later._ I hope Kakashi isn't watching as I fall into the grass and scream louder than I've ever screamed before.

I'd spent my time with Kushina already today, bringing me to 1:00pm. Her ANBU are all on strict watch, as she was due any time. If I made any sort of sudden move, even something as innocent as dropping a dish into the sink by accident, an ANBU Black Op would be at the door in seconds.

Now, after spending the morning and part of the afternoon with Kushina, I am free to enjoy the rest of my day... even if I _am_ being followed by Kakashi. It's unsettling, knowing the baby would come so soon. I know deep down what must be done, but how can I just accept it? It's a trade, my life for the life of the child. It doesn't feel right. What if I were to get the scroll myself and return to the village? Maybe if Kakashi knew the severity of the situation, he would get the scroll for me and this could be over.

Or maybe if I told Kakashi, he would report me and I'd be interrogated or killed. It's too risky.

I realize how hungry I am and that I haven't eaten since breakfast. As I walk the streets of Konoha, the smell of food is everywhere, calling me. I look around for a place to seat. My eyes catch a sweet-dango shop with picnic tables under half-roof. I go to the only empty table, sitting as my stomach cries out for food. The dango is delicious, much better than anything I have in my village.

"I saw Kakashi today," a boy says at the other table. He's dressed very oddly; in fact, it's almost disturbing. A skin-tight green jumpsuit leaves nothing to the imagination, and his bowl cut could scare _anyone_ away.

"Is he okay?" another boy asks. This boy has tan skin, dark-brown hair and a white sucker stick in his mouth. "I haven't seen him in a while. It's like he's become one with the shadows... he's been so distant."

The green one gives an enthusiastic thumbs up, "That reminded me, Asuma! Kakashi _is_ in the shadows, in fact. He told me he's on watch-duty of a village intruder! Says she entered a couple days ago and Hokage-Sama actually let her stay!"

"This Hokage is too king... Doesn't know the limits. He really should have just banished her right then and there..." the one named Asuma ponders, standing to his feet. "He's gonna bring this village to ruins if he's not careful." I raise an eyebrow. _He's not wrong._

 _"Asuma!_ Watch what you say. He is our Hokage!" the one standing beside Asuma whisper yells as she slaps him lightly on the shoulder. She is beautiful with long black hair and a bad-ass composure. Her red eyes resemble my own... _another Genjutsu user?_

"Hey, who are you?"

I flinch when the other one sitting with them looks my way and points a finger at me. She has chin-length black hair.

"Shizune, it's impolite to point..." the red-eyed one mutters.

"Sorry, Kurenai." she replied unconcerned, "I've never seen that girl in the village before."

The green jumpsuit guy gets up in my face and examines me very closely... _to close for comfort._ He is inches from my face and his eyes are squinted intensely.

"Gai!" Kurenai shouts again. She sounds just totally fed up with everyone. I like her, she seems like the reasonable one of the group. And, we share the same eyes.

"What's your name, beautiful woman?" Gai asks. I edge myself farther away from his face and send him a weird and awkward look. He takes the cue and takes a step back. The other three come join at my table.

"Misaki," I state. They all look very suspicious of me. I stand up and Gai draws a kunai. I put my one hand up defensively while the other slides onto the flap of the holder on my leg, _just in case._

Gai makes a move, heading my way with his kunai but before I can even pull mine out and react, a clang of metal sounds and the sudden outburst is paused. The silver-haired ANBU appears in front of me, holding his own kunai to Gai's while his other hand remains lazily in his pocket.

" _WHAAAA?! Kakashi?"_ Gai shouts shrilly. I swear his eyes could pop right out of his head. The other three look just as frightened by the sudden appearence. _God, he's fast._

"I'm in charge of making sure this girl doesn't do anything... but I'm also ordered to keep her safe-Hokage's orders." Kakashi adds the last part lazily, skillfully spinning his kunai around a finger before returning it to a pouch at his belt.

"I haven't seen you! And now you show up! You couldn't have even come to say hello to me! _Kakashi!_ We are RIVALLLSS!" Gai shouts, making crazy hand motions. "As soon as you are relieved of this duty, Kakashi! We are going to have another _verrrryyy_ intense round of youthful ROCK! PAPER! SCISSORS!" He spins a few times before presenting his scissors motion using two arms.

Kakashi hasn't moved at all and the bored look sits in his one opened eye. He proceeds to walk away, both hands in his pockets. He looks forward and doesn't bother to look back at Gai.

 _Gee, I mean, Gai is annoying as heck but that was_ really _unnecessary, Kakashi-ignoring him like that. Meanie._

Again I am reminded of the darkness in his heart... The thoughts of what Isamu and Kamn told me about Kakashi Hatake sends shivers down my spine.

The teens around me look my way, then bounce between Gai and Kakashi as Kakashi walks away.

"I-I should go too... I- uh, I need to train... or something..." I leave quickly, ready to get out of this awkward situation. Leaving the money on the table, I head down the street, content to explore. _I need to know the city well, in the event I must hide or escape. The plan is still happening. I have no choice._


	5. It Begins

The afternoon rolls by, a lot quicker than expected. Before I know it, evening comes and the sun begins to set.

I'd spent the day sort of roaming the streets of Konoha, learning all the good back streets and side alleys. I'd also found a few places to hide, should that become necessary. One is an old abandoned wine-cellar I am able to enter through an alley on a back road near the Uchiha District and Police Department.

As the sun disappears over the horizon, I make my way back to my apartment. It feels nice to lie down and close my eyes, but not as nice when thoughts begin to seep into my head.

A baby's face continued to flash in and out of focus and I curled into a ball, wrapping the blankets tighter around my body. I notice that I have begun to shiver.

I don't know a whole lot about the great nations, but there must be some kind of formal interrogation unit... It's quite off that I was never formally interrogated when they first caught me. This Hokage is certainly different than any other.

The fact that he knew my real rank and saw through every lie, yet still proceeded to go on as if nothing happened and allow me to stay... Does he know what scroll I am after? Surely not. I mean, he's smart but I'm sure he would have handled the situation differently if he did know.

Everything is just so confusing. I guess it doesn't matter anyway, because as soon as I kill the child and get my hands on that scroll, I am out of here.

I throw a kunai and it hits a target lodged into one of the trees at the small training ground near the Uchiha district. I should be sleeping now... it's nearly midnight. I just couldn't fall asleep with the thoughts running through my head.

Another kunai flies from behind and I flinch as it near-misses my shoulder. It flies towards the target my kunai was lodged into and splits the wood of the cheap wood handle on my kunai. When I turn to see who threw it, Kakashi emerges from the trees.

"You planning to sleep tonight?" he asks. I shake my head. "Me neither," he mutters, keeping his head low. I notice that he is no longer in ANBU uniform. Instead, he wears basic black sweats and a short-sleeved black tank-one of the ones ninjas usually wear under their vests.

With a sigh, I lean against a large rock behind me that's sticking out of the ground.

"What are _you_ still doing up?" I ask, pulling a kunai out of my pouch and fiddling with the splintered handle.

He ignores my question and changes the topic.

"Those kunai knives suck."

I raise an eyebrow and he skillfully pulls a kunai out of his pouch, flipping it around his finger a few times before catching it in his hand. He holds out the kunai for me to take, "I already have my own..."

"Just try it," and he motions for me to throw it at a nearby target. When I take the kunai, he chuckles at my reaction. It's heavier than the wooden-handled ones from my village and this one has a nice fabric wrapped metal handle for grip.

I throw it towards the target and it misses, lodging into the bark of the tree. "Pfft. I don't get what's so special about it."

He steps beside me, "You don't have to aim so high with these ones," he tells me, grabbing another one from his pouch. "They go right where you throw them 'cause they're heavy. They don't fall while in the air like those wooden ones." He throws the kunai and it goes through the handle-loop of the one I had thrown and lodges into the tree, leaving mine to hang off it, dangling from the impact.

"Show off," I mutter, smirking. I grab my knives and hand him one. "Let's see you throw with mine."

He shrugs, taking the knife and grabbing another three right from my pouch. I swear he could've been a skilled pick-pocket in another life.

I step back as he steadies himself, placing both feet firmly on the ground. Carefully, he positions two of them between his fingers. I watch closely as he takes a deep breath. To my surprise, he closes his eyes. Kakashi throws the knives and very quickly prepares the other two, one in each hand. He throws them in opposite directions, never even peeking. When he opens his eye, a smirk plays upon his face under the mask. Both kunai hit the first two knives and redirect them, and all four hit different targets, directly in the bullseye.

I gape at the targets and then at him. He doesn't even look surprised, just the all-knowing smirk. He hands me one of his metal knives again, placing it firmly in the palm of my hand and closing my fingers around it with his other free hand.

"You can practice with this, and when you're used to it let me know and you have have a bunch from the Hokage to use on missions and stuff," he says, casting a closed eye smile. The moonlight shines on his face and for a moment, he's a totally different guy. The cold-hearted assassin he is depicted as in the books is nowhere to be found.

"Hey, Kakashi?" I ask, "Why are you so high up in those dangerous ninja books? In the one my leader gave me, you're first on the list above even the Hokage himself."

Kakashi doesn't look surprised, keeping a straight face. He looks down at his feet and for a moment, I wonder if I said something wrong. His voice is quiet, but fills the empty night air in the small training ground. "Minato-Sensei has been a bit of a softie lately... He's usually not like this and would have sent you straight to interrogation if it were any other time. I just- I think he sees something different in you." Kakashi looks up, making eye contact for a brief moment, "He's usually pretty good at reading people." _He's got that right,_ I think as I picture the Yondaime's blue eyes staring straight through mine.

I stand silently, absorbing the information. _I wonder if the Fourth knows my true intentions. Does Kakashi know too?_

I look up at the moon that starts shining through the clearing of leaves. The kindness everyone has shown me in the last few days has been... _nice._ I guess I'm not used to having 'friends' or people being generally nice to me. Strangers usually stare when I pass. But here in the Leaf, they smile...

"Oh, and to answer your question from earlier," he says, breaking the silence. "I don't usually sleep much at night. Especially not tonight, when Kushina-San's baby is due tomorrow." He freezes for a moment, as if considering whether to tell me something. His single visible eye softens, "And with the Kyuubi and all... I'm worried that her seal will break and what could happen after that."

I don't say a word, avoiding eye contact. I try to play it off as if I am sad and scared too. I guess it's not completely an act, I am definitely scared-but for different reasons.

"You gonna be okay?" he asks, noticing my unease.

I want to nod my head. I want to tell him everything will be okay and that I'm glad to be staying in the Leaf Village-but that is all a lie. The truth is, my life has already been chosen by my leader. To be a Shinobi is my job, my _duty._ It's what I'm destined for whether I agree with it or not. And Shinobi follow their orders, regardless the cost.

I am a Shinobi of the Hidden Dream Village and I must stand by that, even if I don't fully understand it.

I'd fallen asleep against a tree in the training ground after Kakashi left last night. The sun is rising and birds are singing, just another ordinary day. But the usual warmth from the sun above can't seem to find me. Nothing can sooth the cold tension I'm feeling in my heart.

It is October the 10th.

I look around and my eyes catch an ANBU asleep in a tree branch. The silver hair I know all too well gives away his identity. He must have taken part of the night shift last night.

I leave the training ground and head to my apartment. On the way, people smile at me as I pass, giving friendly waves. People are beginning to know me in this village. I give a weak smile to each of them and when I finally reach the apartment, I feel sick all of the sudden. Like gravity is playing against me.

I barely manage to make it up the steps and inside the door when I let out a deep breath. The room is dark, curtains still closed from my restless attempts at sleep last night. Light shines in from a crack in one of the curtains, causing a fluttering pattern that stretches across the wood floor of the single-room apartment.

I didn't have many belongings, and the few that I have are already gathered into my bag. The one thing I have yet to pack are my ninja tools, which are set out on the table in an array of different woods. My fingers graze the cool metal of the kunai Kakashi gave me last night, and I set it on the table, taking my familiar wooden tools into my belt and various pouches on my uniform.

I tie another pouch around the back of my waist, but this one is not for weapons. This pouch contains my most treasured valuables, the things I cannot lose, even if I am forced to drop my bag during battle. It contains a necklace with a small pearl, taken from my mother after she found out about my Shinobi fate and kicked me out. A small piece of shriveled paper, the ageing beginning to show itself on the decaying edges. It's a note from an anonymous person, listing all the things they hope for me and finally ending with, 'I love you, my little storm girl.'

My parents told me it was from my grandmother, but when I asked her about it she didn't recognize it at all. I finally gave up searching for the author a long time ago, but I cannot give up the note. I'll keep it close to me, always, because clearly somebody wanted so much for me in life.

Other small trinkets from my old bedroom in my parents' home, and-

"Where is it!?" I gasp, frantically checking every pocket on my body. The most important item is _gone!_

I check every corner and shelf in this tiny apartment. I even check the freezer, which is the most unlikely place. If there was ever a visual definition of frantic, I am it.

"What you looking for?" A voice comes from the window, which has been pushed open by a crack. I turn and my wide eyes glare into Kakashi's.

"What-what are you doing here? I thought you took the night shift last night," I sputter, shoving the necklace and note quickly into my back pouch and zipping it shut. Kakashi's face is a monotone, his usual poker face.

"I live here," he states bluntly, "In the apartment across the hall. It sounded like there were animals in here, ripping the place apart." His eyes cross the mess I've made, chairs shoved out of the way and pillows and blankets thrown hastily on the floor. "I see I wasn't wrong..."

He opens the window fully and jumps in, looking around.

"You moving or something...?" he asks tentatively, seeing my bag packed tightly by the door.

"UH- no I'm- I, uh," I stutter, grabbing blankets and pillows and throwing them onto the couch, "I'm just cleaning up." _Was that seriously the best thing you could think of Misaki!? Agh!_

"Oh, okay then. Whatever," he waves it off, "I'm heading out, Lord Fourth relieved me of my duties for the day. Can you believe that he actually trusts you?" I shake my head rapidly, not knowing what else to do. I force a smile. "Bye, baka. It's been fun. I still think you're a spy," He smirks and before he leaves through the door, I give him a closed eye smile, the best one I could muster.

When the door clicks shut behind him and I hear his apartment door shut across the hall, I fall to the floor and land hard on my bottom.

_My journal, where could it have gone?_

It is past noon and I find myself pacing around the apartment. My stomach grumbles as I hoist my bag onto my back. One last check to see if I missed anything in obvious places and before bidding goodbye to the small apartment.

I tore the place apart, looking for my journal. It was nowhere to be found, so it's either stolen or I left it at home in the Dream Village. I hope and pray it is the latter. The last thing I want is someone getting a hold of my journal, and everything it holds inside.

The streets seem awfully quiet for 3:00 in the afternoon. I turn a corner and go to let out a scream when a hand suddenly grabs my shoulder, tight. Another gloved hand covers my mouth before I can make a noise. I'm dragged into a dark alley and strain my eyes to see the person standing in front of me. The cloak and single eye-hole mask gives it away and I cross my arms, trying to look calm.

But my teeth chatter in fear, "Y-you again," I whisper, voice cracking. _I can't let him see my fear._

"Kushina Uzumaki is having contractions," he says slowly, the words playing bitter-sweet on his lips. My heart jumps as he speaks, "Here's your part of the deal." He presses the small scroll into the palm of my hand. My hand shakes and I worry I might drop it. I force my head into a bow.

"Thank y-"

"-If you dare drop our deal, you're sure as dead," he mutters viciously in my ear, sending cold shiver through my whole body. My legs shake like jelly. I wonder if he notices. The next comes like the whisper of a snake, as he hisses into my ear. "I want the child dead within an hour of birth. I have my own matters to attend to."

I nod quicker than I realize and clutch the scroll containing _Flying Thunder God._

With that, I flee quickly into a forest in the mountains overlooking the village, the scroll starting to soak with sweat from my palm. As I look out upon the village, a dark overcast from stormy clouds appears.

_And so it begins._


	6. Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey wonderful readers! So you'll have to forgive me on this one. It's not entirely accurate to the actual events of the birth but I had to modify it to make it work with my plans. Hopefully you enjoy.
> 
> ~R

The forest only seems to be getting farther away every running step I take towards the tree line. Each thump on the hard ground forces heavy feelings to come over my body. It becomes too much, like a constant pressure, and I fall to my knees with a grunt. My knees scrape under the cement road and blood drips but I barely feel the pain.

I look over my shoulder to check for anyone watching and, deciding the forest would be too obvious, make way for a better hiding place. I can't risk anyone finding me and asking why I have this scroll.

I spot a familiar alley near the Uchiha compound and remember the old cellar. Barely managing to pry the door open and get inside, I slide inside and step down into the cellar. It smells damp and sour, and there's a layer of dust on everything. It's dark as I descend the old wooden stairs, and I strain my eyes to see.

When I get half-way down the stairs, I pause, unable to move. A quiet whimpering echoes from the cellar.

"Shh, it's okay," a child whispers, "Onii-Chan is here. I won't let anything bad happen to-"

I curse under my breath when my foot shifts and causes a creeky stair to scream under my weight. The cellar goes silent, as if undisturbed and empty.

I step down the last few steps and notice the roof is just a bit shorter than me, making me duck or hit my head on the ceiling. As I step further into the darkness, the cold hits me suddenly. Shivers fill me head to toe.

"Hello?" I whisper.

"Whaaaaa!" I flinch and instinctively grab a kunai from my pouch when I hear a baby's wail. My eyes search the darkness but it's impossible to see anything. Placing the kunai back in my pouch, I spark some lightning in my palm. Nothing big, just to create a light source. It flickers like a small candle of electricity.

In the corner is a small boy, maybe just eight years old. His hair is chin-length and gray, his onyx eyes reflecting the light of my chakra in fear as he pulls an infant closer to him.

The baby has the same onyx eyes and dark, navy hair. His fragile cheeks are puffy and pink, eyes wet with tears. The baby whimpers.

The older boy looks at me in confusion, holding tight to the baby. "You're not from this village, are you? I've never seen you before and you don't have a forehead protector, but you're wearing Shinobi pouches and kunai holsters."

_Who is this kid? He sure is observant._

I choose not to answer, instead replying in calm, "Why are you here? Where are your parents?"

He covers the baby and cuddles him close, trying to sooth him as he whimpers. "My name's Itachi and this is my baby brother Sasuke," _Itachi. I recognize that name. Where do I know that from?_ "Our parents went out but something felt _bad_ so I brought him down here."

Why would his parents leave a kid this age with an infant?

"Itachi," I say, kneeling to his level. I soften my voice so as not to seem threatening, "I'm Misaki."

He nods but seems to push himself and his brother further into the corner, trying to keep his distance.

"What is happening out there?" Itachi asks. Baby Sasuke begins to cry again and Itachi rocks the baby, trying to console him. The screams reverberate in the small wine cellar.

Considering how observant this child is, I wonder for a moment if he might know where the Hokage's wife is giving birth. It's a long shot, but I figure it is worth a try. I come up with a quick lie.

"Listen Itachi, I'm a nurse but I lost the paper containing the location of the Hokage's child's birth. I need to get there quick," I stare into his onyx eyes which stare back at my red ones. I wonder if he's buying it. "You seem like a smart kiddo. Can you tell me where Kushina is?"

A moment of silence takes over. Even Sasuke has stopped crying.

Itachi speaks quielty, sounding unsure of himself, "I think I heard my father talking about it to mother... somewhere at the edge of the village, near the mountainside. Um, miss?" he pauses for a moment, readjusting Sasuke in his lap who sucks on his thumb intensely. "It's dangerous out there, isn't it?"

I think about how close this cellar is to the mountainside, where the birth must be taking place. Taking a deep breath, I nod.

"Come with me, I'll show you to somewhere safe."

It adds time to my journey but I couldn't leave them down there. A wine cellar is no place for a child and infant. It's a detour but we reach apartment 5 in the south-end apartments in just a few minutes. I open the door, letting them into my old place.

"It's safe in here. Just stay here until tomorrow and then you can go home. It will be safe by then," I say hastily. I wonder for a moment why I helped these children when I'm right about to go kill one and leave this village in shambles. The one-holed mask flickers in my mind and I close my eyes tightly, fists clenching at my side.

Small arms are suddenly clinging around my waist. His head settles into my abdomen and as he hugs me. "Don't worry, Misaki-Chan. Everything's gonna be okay."

I shake the figure out of my visions and pat the kid on the back. I don't have the words to speak right now. Instead, I lightly pry him off of me and give him a tiny wave, forcing a sad smile.

"Take care of your brother."

I don't look back as I leave quickly. _Itachi,_ the name echoes in my head as I try to figure out where I know it from. Why would I know the name of an eight year old boy?

It occurs to me like a forceful wind hitting my throat. I struggle to breathe for a moment. _Itachi Uchiha. Third most dangerous ninja in the Hidden Leaf Village,_ according to Dream Village spy intellects. There must have been some mistake. That child seemed like the least dangerous person here. His soft onyx eyes, caring for his baby brother.

I wonder why he is so dangerous. I guess I will never find out.

I reach the edge of the village quickly, but there is no sign of life-other than rustling trees and a small waterfall about ten yards away. Of course, the child would be born in secret. The safest place is hidden, deep in a mountain. I can see the entrance to the mountain through the falling water. The entrance shrinks as I go further into the mountain. It becomes a crawl space smelling of rock and damp dirt. Eventually, it opens into a large room lit brightly with candles and torches. The walls and ceiling are raw stone, probably blown out by explosions. But the floor, which is a dirty red in color, is covered in large tiles of smooth rock.

Screams erupt from the middle of the massive room, and my eyes shoot to Kushina chained on the table, black ink marks all over her body and large pregnant stomach. _Had he gotten to her before I could?_

Then I notice Minato standing beside her, holding her hand tightly, speaking encouraging words.

"Almost there, Kushina!" He says as she screams again, the nurse at her feet reaching out to grab the baby. "One more push!"

I look around the room, trying to figure out how to make my entrance. There are ANBU on alert at the side walls, standing straight and firm. I look for the silver hair but he is not here, to my relief. I might have to kill some of them to get to the child.

I realize suddenly how in over my head I am. Minato, the Hokage and second most powerful ninja in the village, will be difficult enough. Even with my kekkai genkai and storm release, this task is going to be near impossible.

A child starts crying. I snap out of my thoughts and my immediate thought is that Itachi has followed me with baby Sasuke. I whip my head around into the crawl space but it's dark and empty. Inside the room, my eyes catch sudden movement in the corner of my vision. ANBU around the room turn their heads, whispering to each other, searching the room for the source of the disturbance.

Suddenly, my emotions threaten to take over. How am I going to take out multiple ANBU _and_ the Fourth... I am in way over my head.

As if gravity is crushing and reforming around me, the cloaked figure appears suddenly at my side. My eyes still trained on the room, I see all the ANBU drop to the floor almost simultaneously. My breath catches in my throat.

"Your turn," a voice whispers. I can feel his breath in my ear. Before I can turn and look at him, he's already gone. He reappears in the same swirl of gravity behind the Fourth Hokage, who's distracted by Kushina who seems to be having some trouble on the table. The ink on her stomach seems to be tearing at the seams.

In a flash, Minato is gone, seemingly pulled into the swirl of air that the figure appeared behind him in. Kushina is crying out in pain on the table. The nurse is on the ground like the rest of the ANBU and the newborn child screams in a basket on the floor by the table.

My legs move on their own. The scroll is still in my sweaty hand. I never let go of it. It's my ticket to life and freedom.

Tears stream down my face as I approach the newborn. Gingerly, I lift him from the basket. He is a mirror image of his father, with the yellow hair and soft blue eyes. The child calms when I pick him up. Kushina has passed out on the table, the inky lines slowly fading by the second.

It's deathly quiet in this mountain. Only the sound of the newborn puckering his lips and my own heavy breathing are heard. I grab a kunai from my holder, fingers shaking and struggling to grip. My own tears fall onto the child's face, mixing with his. I don't know how long I stand there for.

In a _whoosh,_ gravity conforms at the end of the bed near Kushina. I half expect the cloaked figure to appear again and brace myself to slice the child's throat, but the yellow head of hair instead causes me to freeze. Minato appears out of thin air. My eyes meet his and a look I've never seen comes upon his features. He's been betrayed, dismayed, he sees his newborn's life at risk, he sees his wife on the brink of death on the table. He turns between his wife and his baby boy, complete shock on his features.

I press the knife against the child's neck, barely scratching the surface of the skin.

 _I have one job. One simple job. I've made it this far. I have the scroll. I have the child. Why don't I just do it? Why won't my hand move?_ I feel paralyzed.

Before I can realize what's happening, there's another intense flash of light. A monster appears and the roof starts caving in. The newborn screams and flails. I jump to escape the falling rubble, fear taking over.

Nothing could explain the feeling that takes over my body so suddenly. Immense sadness and distress, right down to my core.

 _It's as if the death of this_ child _would be the death of_ me.

"For Hiashi-Sama..." I mutter before forcing my eyes closed and pressing the kunai into flesh. Intense pain. Almost as if it is my own... I open my eyes and see that the kunai has pierced my hand, crimson blood draining like a faucet. The scroll is gone too, with the child, and I cry out in pain as I rip the knife from my flesh. As I fall to my knees, I grab the cut and hold tight, trying to stop the blood from flowing.

Everything seems blurry and vague. The roof of the room has caved in, opening it up to the night sky. A giant fox with nine tails is heading my way, its roar deafening. Screams of civilians colliding with orders of Shinobi.

All I can do is stay on my knees, hand draining blood quickly. Pain radiates throughout my body. _I didn't do it. The scroll is gone. It's over._

I close my eyes when my vision blurs, the edges dark and dizzying. When my back hits the cement tile, a relaxing feeling takes over. _Is this what death feels like?_ I feel nothing; no emotions. Nothing. I see nothing but clouds. I begin to hear nothing either. The roaring chaos fades to a quiet buzz.

Maybe death isn't so bad afterall.


	7. Memories

Flashing lights and odd noises I cannot decipher continue to ring out in my senses. I'm not quite sure if they are made up in my mind. It's possible, considering the massive headache pounding like knives in my skull.

My mind is blank, fuzzy. All remaining thoughts and memories are from the present. Whenever I try to think of the past, all I'm faced with are a facade of undecipherable images. Moments, maybe. Faces.

I feel like I've just woken from a long sleep where I didn't actually get much sleep. My head continues to pound and it hurts to try and open my eyes, only making the knives in my head worse. So I keep them closed, trying to remember amidst emptiness.

"She's regaining consciousness by the hour. She should be more aware at any time now. Might even be able to hear voices, but not respond," a woman's voice sounds distorted and distanced, "She may be aggressive when she gains full consciousness, _Hokage-Sama_. Chunks of her memory are probably missing."

My memory flashes in and out, making the headache worst with every image. First, Minato. His face-first happy, then horrid and betrayed. Mixtures of hatred, confusion, fear, sadness...

Why would Minato come see me, after all I had done? He was nothing but kind to me. He offered me the chance at a new life, laid out on a silver platter, and I still betrayed him. _What have I done?_ The pounding in my head causes me to cry out in pain. The only thing able to make it out of my lips in this strange place.

Had the figure done it? Is the child dead?

I clench my fists with all the strength I can gather-which isn't much. Pain sears through my hand and up into my arm. I feel the bandage, wrapped tightly around my hand. The memories flash, like broken pieces of a puzzle.

_One moment, a child in my arms, my knife against his tiny neck. The next, the knife piercing my own skin._

_Pain. Blood. Exhaustion._

"Misaki," a voice I don't recognize mutters. I'd assumed it was Minato beside me. Did I imagine a nurse saying 'Hokage' earlier?

I force my eyes to open, pain thumping in my head. I push through it and blink my eyes to clear my blurry vision. I barely manage to see a figure, sitting on a chair beside my bed. It's not Minato. I almost sigh in relief. _Minato would certainly kill me. I wonder if he's looking for me right now._

"I know you are probably very confused right now," the voice croaks. Old, maybe a smoker. "You're in the hospital in Konoha. Your body was found among the many others. At first, they thought you to be dead. It seems you are one of the lucky survivors," he grumbles beside me. _Who is this man? Am I imagining him too?_

"The only survivor in that clearing... well, you and the baby."

_The baby. What baby?_

His voice lowers, almost to a whisper. "They named him Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki."

_Uzumaki. Kushina._

"But they didn't make it. They died saving him and the village. The Fourth performed his last jutsu, sealing the nine-tailed beast inside of the child."

I begin to cough, pain fills my whole body. Things come into better focus and I try to sit up, failing in my attempts because the old man pushes me back down.

"Lie down, don't strain. I know this is a lot to hear."

The words barely make it past my lips. I wonder if the old man hears it. "It's- my- fault."

"No Misaki, the one responsible was destroyed. Minato got him."

"No-" the words struggle to make it past my lips, coming out coarser than the smoker's. "He- he made me do it-"

"Calm down, it's okay. You've been in a coma for two months. It's going to take a while for things to make sense."

_Two months._

Does he know what I did? Does anyone here know? I should be dead for what I attempted.

My hand finds the bandage on my left hand and I grab it tight. The pain fills my arm again.

"There's a strange scar on your hand. Don't press it, it needs to heal," the old man grunts. "They don't know how it got there, but when they found you, you were bleeding out. You got cut real good."

_He doesn't know._

I close my eyes again, letting the comforting call of sleep to take me into its arms.

~ Kam's POV ~

It's been just over two months since the mission. The few small search parties that Hiashi-Sama sent out had been long finished, returning with no signs of Misaki at all. I'd brought up the thought with Isamu that maybe she died, or maybe she was still in the Leaf Village, being interrogated or kept hostage. Whatever her cause of disappearance was, it was like she had disappeared from the face of the earth.

We are on our way to Hiashi-Sama's office now, as he had summoned us urgently. When we get to the door, I hear arguing from inside the doors. Isamu knocks and the room falls silent. His muffled voice can be heard through the door.

"Ehem," he clears his throat. "Come in." We open the door with caution, mentally preparing ourselves for whatever spew is behind that door. Inside of the office stands three other guards, all in uniform but not bowed before him. The two of us immediately bow and greet him but his voice pierces the silence.

"Stand up, you two. This is no time for proper greetings. We have intel on Misaki's whereabouts," he says firmly. I stand up semi-quickly and listen closely. "As you may already know, two months ago today marks the attack of the nine-tailed beast on the Hidden Leaf Village. These three guards of mine were on a basic mission to collect intel on the Sand Village when they overheard Sand and Leaf shinobi secretly exchanging information. They stated that the nine tailed beast was sealed inside of the Fourth Hokage's baby, and that there was someone trying to kill the baby.

"They said that there was another survivor, alongside the infant boy. And that she is currently in the hospital, recovering. My suspicions tell me that _she_ may be Misaki. Your mission is to head to the Hidden Leaf Village and find this girl. If it is Misaki, tell her that I order her to return with no excuses. If she refuses, take her by force. If you cannot take her, kill her. I don't want other villages in possession of her power."

A quick nod of all five guards brings a small, but well-meant smile to Hiashi-Sama's lips. "Very good," he mutters. "Oh, and I still want that scroll..." Isamu and I nod again and bow, before he releases us to our mission.

This mission is very unpredictable and could go any way, so it is good to have three other guards assisting us.

~ Misaki's POV ~

The days are long now. My body is still too weak sit up, and the small amount of sleep I get due to constant thoughts about what the Third Hokage had told me yesterday are haunting me. Few people visit. You could barely call it visiting... the only people that come into the room are the nurses, to replace the bandage on my left hand or check up on my health.

My stomach rumbles and I wonder if they feed criminals in this hospital. That's what I am, right? _Surely they know. I know the Hokage played it off, saying not to worry-that the intruder was brought down by Minato himself. But surely Minato told someone about me before he died._

Someone who needed to be watched by ANBU even when I could do nothing but move my fingers certainly points to them knowing _something_... I wonder if one of the ANBU standing outside of the window is Kakashi... but that thought is quickly destroyed when I remember how much he must hate me right now.

My memory has been returning slowly, little bits every hour as things become more clear. The memory of what happened before I passed out is still blurry, but painfully clear all the same. _Is that even possible, to be vague and clear all at once?_

The memory comes in bits and pieces, but forms a full picture. Remembering makes tears form in my eyes.

_"I can't believe you," he stated. There was vast silence, except for the ruffle of the leaves around._

_"Kakashi- please! Try to understand..." I tried to defend myself but winced under his glare when I saw his Sharingan activated behind his mask._

_"You know I can't let you leave... Not now, not after everything!" he exclaimed, throwing a Kunai in my direction very quickly. I stepped to the side and it just missed my shoulder. "You've taken away everything I actually had left!" his voice was getting louder, anger infuriating the teenager's head fell low to the ground, and slight guilt came over me._

_"I had no choice..."_

_"It's because of you that Kushina and Minato-Sensei died!" he exploded, running towards me as lightning-like chakra formed in his hand. "Just when I was actually starting to think of you as a friend!"_

The rest of that memory refuses to come back, it's just a void. It's all too much. Tears run down my face and my heart monitor beats fast.

If Kakashi were on my surveillance, he'd probably end up murdering me. I wonder where he is now. I've caused him so much pain. He has every right to kill me. _Why didn't he?_

Voices snap me out of my thoughts. The nurses have returned. They speak to each other in a hush.

"Did the doctors give you any more information on that weird wound?"

"Just that it doesn't show any signs of ever bleeding. Like it was some sort of electrocution or sudden zap of energy."

I tune out of the conversation and think about it a bit... The only lightning style user I know that would want to hurt me is Kakashi. Visions of when he had me pressed up against the shelf of scrolls roll through my memory, his red eye glaring into my soul.

A sudden thought enters my head and it feels like my throat is closing in on itself. I hear the machines around me begin to freak out as I breathe heavily with the memory I had longed to remember playing frantically through my head.

_He had me pinned up against a tree with one hand, the other hand let out an ear piercing sound, resembling a thousand birds. The light from the Chidori was almost blinding._

_"For the first time since Rin and Obito died, I actually thought I had found someone I could talk to! Someone I could train with, someone I could trust my life on! But it turns out you're nothing but scum... You took everything away from me, and now what do you plan to do?! Run back to that little village of yours and suck up to your leader? Beg him to let you have the life you've always wanted? That's not how it works._

_"You think I got the life I wanted!? Do you think you're the only one that struggles? Because you're wrong! I had everything taken away from me– my mother died during childbirth, my father committed suicide, my comrades both died because of my own stupid decisions! And now my Sensei and his wife are both dead._

_"You're nothing but a selfish Shinobi who doesn't even appreciate what they already have! Maybe you'd have appreciated life better if you'd known you would die so young..."_

_His Chidori was in hand, eyes looking as if he had caught his prey and was ready to kill. I closed my eyes tightly and relaxed. I deserved to die. My life had no purpose and when I tried to find purpose, everything fell apart and I almost took the life of an innocent child._

_I waited for death to come to me and cried out in pain when my left arm was hit with his chidori. I was expecting much more pain to overcome my body as it pierced my arm deeper, but instead, I heard a sudden grunt of pain coming from Kakashi. I opened my eyes to see him on the ground, chidori died out and he pulled a kunai out of his shoulder with another painful cry._

_I looked into the treeline where the knife had come from and for only a moment, I saw the cloaked figure with the white and black mask, and single eye hole. He disappeared very quickly and I started to run after him, but collapsed as pain overcame my already fatigued body._

Why would the cloaked figure have taken the time out of his big plan to save _me_? He didn't care anyways. In fact, he should have let me die or killed me himself... he told me I was as sure as dead if I didn't kill the baby. Was this his way of making sure he could kill me himself? If so, why didn't he just kill me right then and there?

I have so many questions, but the overwhelming need to sleep seduces me again. I let it, and fall into a dreamless world.


	8. Worse Than Dying

I lose track of time, lying in this hospital bed. The days are long and numbered only by my careful observation of shift changes in the ANBU just outside the door and window. I keep an eye out for the silver-haired ninja but he never comes.

The pain is getting less in my hand and head. Just yesterday, the nurse took the bandage off my hand, revealing a nice scar on my palm stretching from my thumb to pinky finger. The memory of how I got the scar brings bile to the back of my throat.

Another scar on the same limb is all the talk among the nurses that check up on me throughout the day. I wonder if they'd still gossip about it if they knew how I got it. I'm sure it would shut them up, mention of the most powerful ninja in the village trying to kill me and failing.

Maybe then they would know how dangerous I am. _Or was._

I failed to prove myself to Hiashi-Sama and to the cloaked figure. That's all I am-a failure.

Truth be told, I have never been that _powerful_. If I were truly strong, I would have been sent on more missions out of the Dream Village before now. My true strength lies only in my specialty. Namely, my clan's powerful genjutsu abilities.

Our eyes are what make us special. Much like the Hidden Leaf's Uchiha or Hyuuga clans. In fact, the Kumara clan is rumored to have branched from the Uchiha clan many hundreds of years ago. We don't possess copy abilities but we share the ability to inflict real, physical pain upon our opponent in a genjutsu.

My genjutsu combined with my special chakra release of both water and lightning- _storm release-_ make my power extremely rare. Theoretically, I could trap someone in a genjutsu and cause them electrifying pain while drowning them. Not enough to kill them, of course, but when the person finally wakes up from the genjutsu, their real body would certainly be weak and exhausted. The issue isn't my potential, it's my capability.

Most of my clan was wiped out in the Third Shinobi War. My own parents, the ones I hold dear despite casting me out, are adoptive. There is nobody left in the Hidden Dream Village who understands my powers and could ever train me effectively.

It's like nobody speaks my language, and it's impossible to learn to speak the language of an extinct population.

The closest clan to mine that still exists is the Uchiha clan.

_I wonder if an Uchiha would be able to teach me._

Maybe I'll be able to find that out. The Hidden Leaf Village doesn't seem like a terrible place to stay, considering the alternative. If I were to go back to the Dream Village, Hiashi-Sama might just kill me. And, despite my terrible deed, it seems this Third Hokage is showing me mercy. _He must know,_ I think. Why is he letting me live?

The Hokage in this village all seem so strange.

Another shift change marks another night as the ANBU outside my room and the window disappear momentarily. I wait patiently for the next group to appear, ready to search them again for the silver hair. Despite the fact that it's been over five days and he hasn't been here, fear still manages to well up inside of me.

There's a knock on the window that wakes me from my thoughts. I turn quickly and see a familiar face outside. Quickly and quietly, still keeping watch for the new round of ANBU due to arrive any time now, I open the window.

"Kam! What the hell are you doing here?" the words scrape past my lips in a whisper yell, my eyes wide to match the surprise in my voice.

"I'm here to retrieve you," he says quickly. His features are dark, barely visible by the dim lights from inside, "Quick, the next round of ANBU Black Ops are coming any second."

My stomach churns for a moment, jaw hanging open in surprise. The night is cool and clouds of my warm breath float in the outside air. I never thought anyone would come back for me.

"What took you so long to come for me?" I whisper. Kam's face drops, a hint of sadness filling his green eyes.

"Hiashi-Sama didn't send us until now. We had no idea where you were, until our spies caught word of an outsider girl who survived the Nine-Tails attack in the Leaf Village."

It takes me a second to process the information.

"Hiashi-Sama ordered you to return to the village."

Maybe it's the cold of the night finally getting to me, but my whole body goes cold and I shake suddenly, wrapping my bare arms around my own torso.

"And... what if I refuse?" I stare at Kam intently, biting my lip as I watch his face carefully for any indications.

The next words come quiet, as if they're taboo. "Misaki, he ordered us to take you by force or kill you."

This time, it's not the cold that causes me to shiver. I take slow steps away from the half-open window. Kam's eyes peer intently, as if begging.

"You need to come back with me," he wills.

I shake my head, and fall onto my hospital bed. I sit, watching him with wide eyes. Waiting for him to make a move. My eyes water.

"Kam, I want to stay here. I like it here. I-" I pause, struggling to find the words. The memory hurts me and I speak in a hush, "I did a bad thing. But the Third Hokage forgave me for it. I can start a new life here."

Kam climbs through the window. My features turn angry, defensive. He sees it and keeps his distance.

"Please, Misaki. I don't want to do this," Kam mutters, emerald eyes pleading. The brown mop of hair on his head blows in the breeze from the window.

"Then don't." I state, "Go back. Tell Hiashi-Sama that the ' _outsider_ _girl'_ wasn't me. Or say I refused to come and you killed me." It makes sense, but I know better than anyone how difficult it is to lie to a leader like Hiashi. They see right through our lies.

Kam shakes his head, and a sudden look of confidence comes upon his face. He straightens up. I struggle to read his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Misaki."

Before I have time to react, a sharp pain stabs into my neck. Numbness fills me, then darkness takes over.

When I come to, it's dark. I look around for Kam but he's gone. _Where am I?_

When I shift my weight, I'm made aware of the cold, hard concrete below me and damp, moldy smell. Footsteps in the dark echo, reverberating off distant walls. I blink, trying to make my eyes adjust, but there's only darkness.

"Kam?" I yell, my voice bouncing off the walls I can't see a thing.

I crawl forward, feeling concrete under my knees and palms. My head hits hard on something, not a wall. When my fingers reach the object, I grasp tight. _A metal pole. No, wait-another one._ From floor to ceiling and wall to wall, thick steel rods hold me prisoner in this darkness.

"KAM!" I scream, louder this time—more desperate.

A deep laughter in the distance makes my body go stiff. I know that voice anywhere. It's Lord Hiashi.

A face emerges from the darkness, lit by a small lantern that moves with him, "How pleasant it is to see you again, Miss Kumara," his voice resembles that of a snake and I coil back, sliding on my hands and bottom until I find the corner of the dark cell. "I hear you made friends with the Leaf Hokage. How sweet," the words sound sour on his tongue.

"He offered me a better life." I say, voice wavering.

His chuckle causes me to grimace. "I'm have no intention of forcing you to continue as a Shinobi, Misaki." His words are of no comfort to me.

"Just keep me as your prisoner, even better." I remark, sarcastic.

"Your powers are rare. I need them if I am going to rise up."

Hiashi-Sama must see the confusion on my face from the small amount of light emanating from the lantern because he chuckles darkly.

"I'm not going to kill you. You see, your eyes have great potential," his words are like a snake slithering towards its prey. I'm suddenly very grateful for the steel bars I resented just a few moments ago.

"Yeah, if there was anyone left qualified to train me." There's a pause. His lantern flickers through the bars on the stone-hard walls of my cell.

"There will be no need," he says. I can hear the horrible smile playing on his lips. "I myself am very well-versed in the art of Genjutsu."

The thought of training under him makes me feel sick.

"Only, my eyes are getting old. I am in need of new ones."

 _No, he can't._ A whimper and a scream escapes my lips before I can stop it, "Get away from me, you freak!"

This time, I actually vomit. Lord Hiashi winces at the pool of sick on the ground beside me.

There is no mercy in his voice. "Rest up, child. The medical nin have the procedure scheduled for tomorrow."

I'm crying. My mouth still tastes of bile. Every nerve in my body is exploding. The lightning scar on my left forearm tingles in a taunting pain.

_I wish Kakashi_ _had_ _killed me._

_~ An unknown passing of time ~_

How fitting it is for Hiashi-Sama to keep me locked down here in this cell, completely in the dark; a taste of the life ahead.

There's a distant hope that they put me out before they take my eyes and don't ever let me wake up. That's best-case scenario.

But in my experience, things never turn out the way I want. I wonder for a moment if they'll give me the bastard's old-man eyes in exchange. I would claw them right out of the sockets.

My gut tells me they'll just keep me locked down here forever. If I ever got out, I would definitely kill him. I don't care if I die in the process. I will kill the man if it's the last thing I do. _Even if I have to do it blind,_ I tell myself.

Whether it's hours or just minutes, I don't know. But they go by slowly, haunting me all the while. _Tomorrow I_ _will_ _die._ Even if he forces me keep living, my spirit dies—destined and cast into darkness forever.

Footsteps in the corridor bring me to my feet. If I'm going to go out, I'll go out fighting. Let him know that I'm not just some weak child submitted to his using.

His outline approaches in the darkness. He doesn't carry a lantern this time. He stops at the bars and the silence envelops us. I stand firm, holding my ground, waiting to strike. I don't have a weapon but I do have my chakra. I feel it, pooling in my palms and the in tips of my fingers. It's a constant tingle, reminding me of its presence and power, waiting to be unleashed.

There's a sudden shift. The air caves in on itself. The next moment, gravity around me tightens and someone appears beside me. I start to scream, but a hand covers my mouth. No sound escapes.

"Keep quiet," the voice says, harsh. Suddenly, my insides are stirring. Everything spins, and the world beneath my feet becomes a void. I have a sudden need to be sick again, struggling to find solid ground below my feet. Strong arms are wrapped around me.

The ground returns quicker than it went. We hit hard, forcing me to my knees. I try to be sick, just to get rid of the feeling in my stomach, but whatever food I had in me was brought up the first time, back in the cell.

My fingers grip the grass, wet with a layer of frost. The night-time air hits like a refreshing flavor in my lungs. I spent less than a day in the cell, but fresh air has never felt better. Maybe it's because I thought I would never feel it again. I inhale, taking it in greedily.

Suddenly aware of my exhaustion, I fall onto my back. A cloaked figure stands above me, white and black mask glowing in the moonlight.

"You again!" I exclaim, scared. I don't have the energy to stand. He towers over me. _So_ _this is how it is,_ I tell myself. _F_ _rom one freak to another_.

"I'm giving you a chance to live. You can come with me, as my subordinate, or I can kill you." His voice is calm, smooth as stone. He doesn't speak with a sour undertone. "Your eyes have potential. I can help you reach that potential. I will train you, but you must pledge yourself to this life."

For a moment, I see a faint shimmer of red through the single eye-hole. "Who are you?" I ask, propping myself up on my elbows.

There's a brief moment of silence.

"That's not important right now." His voice doesn't waver, a calm aura against the night air.

"What life am I pledging myself to?" An owl _hoos_ in the distance _. Is this my chance at_ true _life? One of my own making?_ I blink, waiting for his response.

"A life of power."

" _Power_?" I echo.

"Is that a yes?"

I don't even think. "Yes."


	9. No Ordinary Genjutsu

We walk in silence for the most part. What do I say to the mysterious figure? I don't even know his name, and yet I just pledged my life to him. It was my only choice. I was either going to join him and whatever he is doing or lose my eyes to Hiashi-Sama. At least this way, I have a proper chance at living.

I can't help but remember the flash of red I saw last night. Was it my exhausted imagination getting the better of me?

I don't have any belongings, other than what I had on my person. My kunai holsters and valuables pouch. Lord Hiashi took my weapons but let me keep my valuables, strangely enough. I guess he didn't see them as a threat. What harm could a piece of paper, pearl necklace and odd trinkets do anyways?

Surprisingly, the figure speaks for the first time in hours. "How much training did you receive in you village?" he turns his head, though I still can't see any of his facial features under the mask.

"Not much," I admit, pink rising to my cheeks. I'm pretty worthless, to be honest. Why would someone like this guy want to take me under his wing? "The basics, I guess. Simple jutsus, those expected of genin shinobi. Some hand-to-hand combat skills. A little bit of genjutsu but definitely not as much as I'd be capable of with my eyes."

He nods, keeping his face trained on the forest ahead.

"How 'bout weaponry?"

I think about my wooden kunai knives, confiscated by Hiashi, and frown. Definitely not top-quality-another downside of being raised in a small, poor village. "Kakashi taught me to throw proper metal kunai knives, but I'll admit I didn't get much practice."

He turns to me again, and I see it. The flicker of red through the hole in his mask. I step away, stopping in my path. He stops with me. His black hair blows slightly in night air.

"Who are you, anyways? Do I not even get a name?" Frustration is edging my voice. He keeps staring at me, red flickering behind the mask.

His head drops, and his gloved hand forms a fist at his side. "I am an Uchiha," he states. For a moment, my heart skips a beat. _An Uchiha? From the Hidden Leaf Village?_

"So you're from Konoha?" I pry, intrigued.

"I used to be," the words fall out flat, lifeless. Void of any emotion or meaning. He starts walking again and I jog to catch up to him.

"What happened?" I can't help but ask. Curiosity stirs in me like a constant push.

For a moment, my words fall on deaf ears. I start thinking he won't answer, but he surprises me once again.

"I was betrayed by my comrade," his voice flares with anger. Fist clenched at his side, his voice deepens and is overcome by emotion for the first time since I met him. "He left me for dirt and then killed my best friend." I flinch, taken back by his tone and the words being said.

"God, that's horrible..." I mutter, voice low so as not to anger him, and also to show my sympathy. "I hope this person was punished for what they did."

The wind blows through the trees, rustling the leaves and branches. It's a quiet night in the woods, no sign of life except for us two.

"He must suffer in his own mind... having to live with what he did," he says slowly. "The one he killed was _his_ best friend too."

I whip my head to face the masked Uchiha. My mouth gapes open and thoughts swirl in my head. _What kind of monster would murder their best friend?_

In the short time I have known this strange person, I never considered who he might be. I was too caught up in my own desperation to take the time to ask about his. This is my chance to find out more about my rescuer.

"What should I call you, Uchiha?" the words come easier now. My fear for this powerful figure dwindles and I feel a mutual bond forming. Excitement actually starts to fill my senses at the prospect of training with an Uchiha as powerful as him. For once in my life, I have found someone who speaks my language. His eyes and my eyes are similar, and I am itching to learn how to use mine properly.

"Madara."

I struggle to read his tone of voice. The name filters through my head, trying to find meaning. Why is it so familiar? _Madara Uchiha._ I try to think back to my days in the academy in history class. I was mostly bored and distracted during history, and I wish now that I'd payed a little more attention.

At some point, we stop to rest. I still don't know where we're going. After a short sleep, dawn makes an appearance through the trees. Birds begin to fly about, chirping their morning songs. The air starts to warm, making my skin tingle.

For the first time in a long time, I am happy. Really, truly, undeniably happy. The smile on my lips isn't forced or by my own choice-in fact, it's nearly impossible to get rid of.

"What are you so jolly about?" He mutters, estranged from my joy.

I look back at him, the smile stretching across my jaw.

"I'm finally my own person." I say, "I finally have the chance to _really_ train with purpose and fight knowing I'm more than just the weak girl from the poor village."

I wonder if he smiles below his mask. There's no way to ever tell, and the Uchiha remains unreadable, still very much a stranger to me. I don't care, though. Nothing can get me down right now.

"Thank you, Madara. I'm actually starting to think we might be friends."

We travel for days; it might even be a week, I lose track. We travel mostly at night and in the early hours of morning, sleeping during the day. When I ask him why this is, but his answer is vague-much like most of his answers to my constant questions.

 _"We need to be discreet,"_ he says.

_"...It's all part of my plan."_

_"...My past is not important right now."_

_"...Stop asking so many questions about me. You should ask questions about your eyes."_

He's was right about that, I'm wasting my time. What matters right now is getting stronger. I'm sure Hiashi-Sama has people looking for me. I need to be ready to fight him; it'll come one day or another. No use avoiding it.

"How similar are my eyes and yours?" I ask. I know the sharingan is a lot more powerful than my eyes, since my clan is just a branch clan-a mistake, some people say. _'A mutation'_. Still, curiosity tugs.

"I don't know that much about your clan, Kumara." He calls me by my last name. I guess first names are weird to him or something. There are many things I don't understand about this dude. "All I know is that I can show you how to use them properly. Anyone can cast a genjutsu, with proper training. But not everyone has the ability to inflict real pain. That's what makes ours so special."

I nod, understanding. We come to a small clearing. Instead of going around it like we usually do, the Uchiha walks into it. We stop in the middle, and the stars shine down on us. His red eye is bright in the dark of the night.

Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I spot two kunai knives flying fast towards us. I don't waste a moment. I jump out of the way of the attack, as does the Uchiha. His eyes are still locked on mine. Did he know about this attack? Maybe he saw it coming before it even happened. Maybe he planned this.

"What is happening?" I ask, holding my ground. I check over my shoulders periodically.

"You are trapped in my genjutsu," he answers coolly. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"But when-" before I can ask, more knives appear from the darkness of the surrounding forest. I evade each one skillfully.

"It only takes one split-second of eye contact for you to entrap your opponent," he explains, stepping towards me in the clearing. His hand opens in front of him, revealing his palm. A kunai appears from thin air in his other hand. He pushes it into his palm, stretching from his thumb to pinky. I cry out in pain, gripping my palm, but he doesn't even flinch. I look down at my own hand and see a gash forming, blood running free.

"Stop that!" I yelp. He cuts his own body but the wound appears on mine. Pain radiates through it.

"The key is to focus your chakra," his voice echoes all around, as if he is speaking from inside my head. I grab my ears and clench, closing my eyes tight. Straining, I try to will him out of my head. "Control the neural transmissions in your opponent."

The gash in my hand doesn't stop bleeding, sending pain through my whole body. Behind me, a voice emerges. I turn and scream at the sight of him. Kakashi stands, his eyes full of hatred. He runs at me, lightning concentrated in his hand and crackling up his arm. My body is frozen, paralytic, and all I can do is watch as he approaches with his lightning.

"Snap out of it!" I scream at myself, shaking my head furiously. It's no use, I'm not strong enough.

Right before Kakashi's lightning can touch me, everything goes black for a second. I feel myself fall to the ground. When I open my eyes, I search for Kakashim head whipping all around in the clearing. He's gone. The Uchiha is still standing alone in the middle of the clearing. My left hand throbs and I expect to see blood but there's only the familiar scar.

"That's the power of our genjutsu," he says, walking my way. He moves to my level, kneeling on the ground. "Now you try. Concentrate your chakra and cast the genjutsu. Entrap me, make me feel pain."

I grunt, still massaging my left hand which is now tingling. When I look into his eye, I notice he has disabled his sharingan to give me a fair chance. His eye is onyx, and reminds me of those Uchiha children I met in the cellar on the night of the birth. For a moment, I imagine this Uchiha as a child. _What drove him to this life of hatred? Life as a rogue ninja?_

He mentioned his best friend dying at the hand of his comrade. I wonder what ever happened to that person. Why has he not killed them? He seems to carry a lot of hatred for them. _I wonder who it is._

My eyes lock on his and I blink, casting the genjutsu. I see it in his eye-it softens and his arm goes limp.

I feel out his brain a bit, sensing the neural connections. Each one creates a perfect mirror of chakra in my own brain, allowing me to see inside his mind.

Strangely, it feels less like a world I've created being cast inside his brain, typical of a genjutsu, and more like _his_ world being cast into _my brain._ I have never before tried using my clan's special genjutsu before. The only genjutsu training I received in the Village of Dreams was basic casting and breaking of the jutsu.

_Now I wonder if my eyes and the Uchiha's are as similar as I thought they were._

At first, it's dark. There's resistance, like a force pushing me away. Things around me start to blur into existence, painting a picture. I have no control of the world around me, inside of his head. It moves and creates on its own. I can only see it, as if I am a spectator in one of his thoughts.

First, there's a forest. It looks similar to the one I traveled through with Isamu and Kam when we first went to the Leaf Village. In the distance, I see four figures on the ground, standing together. I try to move closer, straining to see who they are, but I'm met with more resistance. I feel a force pulling me back. I never make it close enough to see their faces-the resistance makes sure of that.

One of the figures is notably taller than the rest. His hair is a thick mop of yellow. I strain to see the other characters but my vision becomes foggy.

Things transition in a dream-like state. When the fog clears, the scene has changed. On top of a tree, someone gets slashed in the eye with a sword by an enemy. As I get closer, I find the injured person's hair is silver-and voluminous. _It can't be._

Before I can move closer to affirm my suspicions, the resistance pulls me back with a great force. For a moment, things start to go black but I push to keep the genjutsu casting. It feels like my head might implode.

More fog and another scene approaches, quicker as I try to push away the resisting force. This time, there's rubble. Under a large boulder is a boy, half his body crushed by the boulder. A girl his age with brown hair and purple squares on her cheeks cries, holding tightly to the boy's hand.

My head starts to physically pound, a heartbeat of pain in my head. The force comes back harder than before but I fight, pushing to stay in the scene.

I put the pieces together quickly: these scenes are not scenes at all-they're memories. The Uchiha's memories. The resistance must be him trying to pull me out. I gather more chakra, pushing harder into his memory.

I almost lose hold of the memory when I spot the orange goggles on the boy's forehead. They are unmistakably the same goggles I saw on the KIA Stone back in the Leaf Village. Realization hits- _this boy in the memory is the one whose name is on the KIA Stone._

The memory keeps playing. There are words being spoken but they are inaudible, like they're being spoken underwater. I guess that is something I'll have to practice-a flaw in my technique.

The silver-haired shinobi kneels at orange-goggled boy's side, tears falling from his remaining eye that's not slashed. It is none other than a younger Kakashi Hatake. The memory starts fading then-I'm unable to resist the force any more. Right before I'm ripped away from the memory, I catch one last detail.

The goggled boy opens his eye, the one not crushed under the boulder, revealing the sharingan. After that, I'm cast out of the memory with such force it makes it hard to breathe.

I still remain in his head. As another scene forms before me, the resistance still pushes inside my skull. The new memory before me is blurry and I can't see the faces of the people in it but I know undoubtedly who they are.

It's the brown-haired girl from the last memory and the familiar silver-haired ninja, Kakashi. His arm is inside her chest, lightning still flickering. The jutsu dies with her and she falls to the ground, lifeless.

I'm in so much shock, it could have been me getting hit by the chidori. My stomach balls into a knot and my head feels to be imploding while darkness takes over in an instant. I am met with such resistance that I can't even think straight.

The real world returns. The stars seem to be spinning. I'm dizzy and realization swirls in my head.


	10. Pieces of a Puzzle

The memory is gone and I fall to the ground, crawling back when I return back to the real world. The Uchiha struggles for breath, shaking. He falls backwards, catching himself on his elbows. The night air seems colder than before, but maybe that's fear welling up inside me. The pieces start to come together.

"The boy with the orange goggles," I mutter, still struggling for breath. I can barely process it. "That was you, wasn't it." The Uchiha just stares at me, still lying back on his elbows. They shake under him, threatening to collapse.

Never did I think I could inflict pain like this on someone as powerful as this Uchiha figure, enough to make him shake on the ground. It seems invading ones deepest and most vulnerable memories opens wounds unlike any other. _Wounds that can't be healed by medical ninja._

My mind flashes to the KIA Stone and the weathered orange goggles on the platform. Then, I remember my conversation with Kakashi that day. He told me the names of his closest comrades were on it-and his best friend who he called _Obito Uchiha._

I barely believe it. Considering him his best friend... _it certainly doesn't seem that way._ It appears much worse. I wonder if Kakashi's story was a cover-up.

 _It didn't work Kakashi,_ I think. _The truth always gets out somehow._ I clench my fists in anger at the silver-haired ANBU who lied to me about his background and proceeded to call me _friend,_ right before trying to kill me with the same chidori he killed the brown-haired girl with.

"How did you do that? Get in my head and see my memories?" The Uchiha's voice flares with anger and I should probably get far away, safe from his wrath, but I can't seem to move.

"And the girl, with the brown hair," I whisper, ignoring his question because I don't even know the answer. With eyes wide, the puzzle starts to fit together and I continue, "She was your best friend. And-" I freeze, debating if I should say it. He speaks before I can.

"I didn't intend for you to know any of that," he mutters. There's a concoction of sadness and anger weaving through his words. "If I had known you could read minds-"

" _He_ killed that girl," I say, not caring about my new-found ability. I know my words hurt him but so many thoughts are running through my head and I have an overwhelming need to make sense of them. " _Kakashi Hatake,_ " his name tastes horrible on my tongue.

I'm suddenly filled with resentment. Kakashi played himself out to be the sad boy who lost his comrades but failed to mention that he killed one of them and took the other one's eye. _And he called me the betrayer. Pfft._

"Yes," he says quietly. I try to pick out the emotion in his voice but it is void, once again. His single-eye hole suddenly makes sense-the Uchiha's only remaining eye is his right sharingan because Kakashi has the left.

Maybe its sadness and maybe it's fear, but a single tear falls down my face.

I slide onto my back and stare at the stars above. The trees flurry, their leaves dancing against one another. They look like they're shivering in the cold of the night. The stars shimmer; not even the beauty of the stars can wash away a memory so horrid. It's not even _my_ memory but it hurts me all the same.

It's then that I realize the power I hold-not in physical ability, no... something more than that. A power stronger than a thousand jutsu combined. The power to see people's deepest, darkest memories; the ones they hold most sacred and private. Memories that reveal vulnerabilities and untold truths.

Obito stands, legs wavering at first but he gets a hold of himself.

"Get up, let's go. That's enough training for now."

"We can rest a bit... we're both exhausted," I say, staring at his back. He doesn't answer, having returned to his unreadable state. "Obito-"

 _"Don't call me by that name,"_ he snarls, words sharper than a knife. I shrink down on the grass, feeling small and subordinate again. "We don't speak of this from here onward. Now stand up, Kumara. Let's get moving."

The hardest part of knowing a secret is not the secret itself but not being able to tell it-not that I'd have anyone to tell. Who do I have left? I am on my own, no matter how you put it.

Not even Obito-sorry, I mean _Madara_ as he's making me call him-attempts to make conversation or connect anymore. He's turned cold, distancing himself from me in more ways than one. He just walks, a few strides ahead of me, and doesn't look back. When we stop to rest, no words are spoken between us. I'm afraid if I speak he might kill me. I've never felt this much darkness and coldness from a person, not even Kakashi.

It's turning nightfall and it seems we are at a border between lands. Trees have become less, more scattered, and sharp rocky peaks push through the land, forming the beginnings of mountains. In the far distance, some peaks go right through the clouds. I marvel at the sight, the evening shadows falling across the massive cliffs at sharp angles.

In my peripheral, I see movement and turn towards it, searching the scattered treeline. A figure emerges from the shadows wearing a long, black cloak covered in red clouds.

"You failed to get control of the kyuubi," the character steps into the fading light and shadows are upon his face. It's difficult to make out his features. He carries a large sword on his back, one wrapped tight in bandage material.

"You try going one-on-one with the Fourth Hokage and see how you fare, Kisame." Uchiha snarles back. He doesn't seem a bit phased by this strange figure's presence.

"It's not your first failure. You'd better be careful to succeed next time, Madara, or our efforts are for nothing." His whispers are sharper than razor blades. The figure steps out of the shadows and faint sunlight illuminates his terrifying features. I suck in a breath when I glimpse his shark-like face. An even more terrifying expression falls upon his face when he looks at me. "Who is this you have? A hostage?"

I stand firm, trying to mirror the Uchiha's unfazed composure.

"A powerful genjutsu user of the lost Kumara clan from the Dream Village," he says. "She is going to be a vital piece in our plan." I shutter when he refers to me as a _piece_ in his plan. Nothing ever changes. I'm always just another pawn for someone to use.

"I see," the shark man named Kisame says, circling me like a predator would its next meal. "Her genjutsu might certainly prove useful in capturing the jinchurikis."

"Mhm," Uchiha mutters. Kisame leans into Uchiha's space, about to whisper something. I stand still, legs glued in place, unable or unwilling to move.

I watch the sun disappear over the mountains in the distance and the world goes dark.

"Did you hear? The Uchiha clan is under scrutiny in the Leaf Village... something about suspecting an _Uchiha_ to be behind the nine-tails attack on the village..."

If Uchiha is afraid or surprised by this news, it doesn't show. He keeps a calm, firm stature and steps back from Kisame.

Kisame continues, breathing his words in slow, even phrases like any villain would, "There are rumors of a possible _coup..._ It would make a perfect time to go for the Hokage's son-the jinchuriki-don't you think, Madara?"

The small infant appears in my mind and pain spikes in my left palm. The memory of my knife almost slitting his tiny throat makes me wince. Kisame's eyes flit to me for a brief moment.

The Uchiha's voice is strong, unwavering. He answers in a cool fashion, taking on his identity as _Madara Uchiha_ perfectly. "Yes, it would. But we must wait."

Kisame is taken by surprise, and anger fills his face. "I beg your pardon, sir, this is our chance to right your mistakes! Our chance to finally get a hold of the nine-tailed beast!"

Uchiha slashes his hand through the air, effectively shutting Kisame up. "There are things I must do first. Bonds I must form with other members of your organization. We must not forget the long-term goal, Kisame." It seems he purposefully avoids information to hide certain intentions from me.

Kisame, still angry, lowers into a bow. "Whatever you say," he says, sounding disturbed. "Then what is this girl's role in all this?"

The Uchiha looks my way, glaring at me with his sharingan through the hole in his black and white mask. Kisame rises from his bow and glares at me curiously.

"She needs more training. After that, she will be an integral part of taking down the Uchiha clan once and for all."

Life becomes predictable. We train, but Uchiha is extra careful to keep me out of his vulnerable memories from there on. He wouldn't fall for the same trick twice.

It's hours, then days, then weeks. And before I know it, years go by.

I learn to navigate different types of minds, practicing on Akatsuki hostages and various bounty-hunters we come across. Eventually, the resistance I typically felt inside other's heads becomes powerless against my genjutsu. I barely notice it anymore.

I can feel myself getting stronger in other areas too. We train practical skills-ninjutsu, taijutsu, breaking out of regular genjutsus... he especially works with me on everything there is to know about the sharingan. He says it's important I can resist and fight it if I am to help take down the Uchiha clan.

"Why are you destroying your own clan?" I work up the courage to ask one day. After I pledged not to use my mind-invasive genjutsu on him again, and gained more trust and loyalty the longer I trained with him, he became more open to answering my questions. I was still kept in the dark about many Akatsuki things; though, I'm sure he was too. The members of that organization refuse still to let him in as an official member. Maybe he's a piece in _their_ plan, just like I'm a piece in _his_. It never ends.

"It's a long history with the Uchiha clan. I don't expect you to understand," he brushes me off. He passes another punch and I evade it easily.

"Try me." I say, side-stepping and falling to a crouch to avoid his swinging leg. In the process, I grab it and trip him. He regains his balance quickly.

We stop fighting and his black cloak blows in the wind. His hair is longer now, coming down just past his shoulders. He's taken on a new mask too, ditching the white and black one for an orange one with a similar black-lined pattern on it.

"The real Madara Uchiha would seek vengeance on the Uchiha clan for mistreating him many years ago." He is brief with his answer but it's an answer so I take it without complaint. Feeling tired, I find the closest tree and slide down it, leaning my back against it. My simple uniform consists of cargo pants and a dark shirt, as well as a basic black hooded cloak keeps me warm at night, which is when we do most of our travelling.

He tends to stay on the down-low, going to meet with various people about things he won't tell me about. Aside from his plans to aid the Uchiha coup, there's definitely a bigger plan in place that I don't understand.

"And how exactly are you going to massacre an entire Uchiha clan?"

It still feels a little strange to be talking so normally about such a horrid plan. I get used to this type of stuff, desensitized in a way, after many years of overhearing the conversations of the other Akatsuki members.

"Madara is very powerful," he says, taking on his authority voice that he usually does when he needs to become _Madara_ in front of the others. "And his presence is enough bend others to his will."

I raise my eyebrows like _'ok, whatever'_ while shaking my head, and look up into the bright sky, feeling the hot sun cause sweat to roll down my face. The hideout is just beyond the mountain, the entrance hidden in a cliff, and the coolness of the underground hideout beckons me.

I drift into thought again, as usual, and think about anything and everything. I'm done thinking about the past-it exhausts me. I think now about the future and what it holds.

Of course, I don't plan on staying with this Uchiha figure and the Akatsuki. They don't consider me one of their members, being careful to keep information from me and excluding me from certain meetings.

But right now, the Akatsuki is my only refuge. It's been good, staying here and training all these years. I've had the chance to grow much stronger than I ever imagined possible.

But my life has to be so much more than training and hiding all day. There was once a time in my life when I looked up at the clouds and envied their easy life. But now I want more than that. I want to make something of myself. Maybe then I will know what it really means to be a shinobi.

The Akatsuki won't help me find that. To them, I'm just another piece in their plan. Who knows what'll happen to me once I exhaust my usefulness? I'm not strong enough to be classed an S-Rank criminal like any of them-thanks to the Uchiha, I'm jonin at best. If they refuse to draft who they think is _Madara Uchiha,_ they will definitely never draft _me_ or let me in on their secrets.

So I must escape some day, maybe soon. I've been thinking about it for a long time. Before the Uchiha massacre would be good. I'm not really down for murdering innocent children. The Uchiha almost made me do that once and I'll never let myself get in that position again. The tiny, yellow-haired and blue eyed newborn still appears in my nightmares, despite the fact my blade barely pierced his skin.

_I don't want to imagine the nightmares I will have after participating in a massacre._

I cannot go back to my home in the Dream Village. The sight of the parents I forgot long ago might weaken me, and I cannot afford to be weak. Not if I am going to destroy Lord Hiashi.

And I pledged many years ago to never return to Konoha. I can never look at that place without the horrible memories flashing in my head. Blue eyes and kindness that I betrayed. Red hair and compassion that I destroyed. _Silver hair and lightning that I almost died to, twice._

There will not be a third time. I will not be returning to Konoha. Where I will go remains to be seen.


	11. Last Resort

The hideout is cool and quiet. I roam the hallways, if just to cure my boredom. Obito doesn't let me out to train on my own and there's always someone guarding the entrance. Getting out of this place is going to prove difficult.

It's not huge, just a few short hallways with various rooms carved into the stone. My room is small and simple, consisting of just a place to sleep and a small shelf for my few belongings-the necklace, which I refuse to wear, sits carefully on the top shelf out of sight. It belonged to my adoptive mother in the Hidden Dream Village. I stole it before I was kicked out. I think it belonged to her mother, and her mother before that. I don't know why I took it, maybe out of anger. It was a sporadic decision.

Also on the shelf is the anonymous note I have never forgotten. I've always had it as long as I can remember so I don't really remember getting it. My mother tells me it was from my grandmother, my birth mother's mother. But I don't believe her. My grandmother died just after the war and I managed to ask her about the note just before she passed. She had never seen it before.

So the author of the note remains unseen but I hold it close to my heart and never let go of it. It's the one thing I still allow myself to hold onto from the past.

I pull it off the shelf, letting my fingers feel the decaying edges of thick, brown paper and my eyes trace the curves and corners of dark, handwritten letters that bleed through the paper.

_'Misaki,_

_I'm sorry that I can't give this to you myself. There is so much I want to say to you but I can't fit it all on this small sheet of parchment. This will have to do._

_My hopes for you are high and boundless. You are special and I know your powers will help you achieve great things. I wish only for you to realize that and find your calling._

_Please never forget who you are and where you come from._

_I love you, my little storm girl.'_

Storm girl. A reference to my dual-chakra nature of both water and lightning. That's what my grandmother used to call me before she died. I wonder if my birth mother or father wrote this note. I will never know for sure but I can only assume it was one of them.

I fold the note neatly at the crease which is so tired of being folded it might split apart any moment and sit on the edge of my bed. The lantern on the wall makes the small room flicker with warm light.

If I still had my journal, I'd write in it now. I'd write all about my plans to escape and become my own person-one not belonging to anyone or anything except a purpose of my own.

The age-old question of what it truly means to be a shinobi is worn out but still important to me. There are things I will never understand about the shinobi life like why people can take the lives of others and still go on living, or what the deeper meaning is of being a ninja-the purpose of it all.

At this point, I'm no longer wishing to escape the shinobi life, hence my reluctance to stop training and let myself get weaker, but I'm still not sure _why_ I'm doing it. What is my purpose in all this? It's not like I have anyone to live for-no family, no real friends.

Wouldn't it be easier to give up and move to some small town, start anew and forget about fighting and missions and plans? _Like a cloud,_ I think, _floating and drifting along with no destination._

But every time I consider that life, I think about the family I never knew-my real parents and clanspeople-who died in the Third Shinobi War. It would have been so easy for them to run away and hide, wait out the storm. Come back out when the war is over and keep on living.

But they all died in that war, fighting to protect people they didn't even know.

I lean back on my pillow, contemplating. The note is still folded between by fingers, the thick paper a smooth texture on my calloused hands. It's such a strange thing, the way one's mind can drift for hours and never reach any conclusions-just witnessing, observing.

The lantern on the wall flickers, the flame emitting warm heat into the otherwise cold space.

The soothing sound of the breath in my lungs, predictable and constant. _In, out. In, out._

Footsteps echoing down the hallway, probably an Akatsuki getting back from a task.

The thumping in my chest, my heart beat quickening as the Akatsuki member gets closer to my door. I still fear they'll kill me, deem me useless. Once I'm no longer useful, they can't just let me go. I know too much. They'll have to kill me-or worse, wipe my mind with some torturous jutsu. They're always coming up with new horrible techniques.

 _Thump, thump... Thump, thump..._ Faster as the footsteps pause outside my door. _Thump, thump, thump, thump._ My worst fears come true as the door creaks open slowly, letting light from the hallway bleed into the shadow on the floor. I have to go, I have to run, but there's no other exit. I'm trapped.

Without even thinking, there's chakra forming in my hand. I mix in the water and lightning, creating a perfect ball of electrified water. Able to douse and electrocute any person I can hit with it.

Before I can lunge forward, I'm being tackled. There's an arm around my neck, holding me down, and others flood into the room to take hold of my limbs. I struggle against their skilled grasps.

"Hey, hey, calm down. We're not here to hurt you, we're here to rescue you," a man's voice immediately hushes me and I stop struggling. The storm ball flickers out in my hand.

"Come on," this time, it's a woman. "Stand up, let's get you out of here." All their faces are covered in masks-not the same red-striped masks I remember Leaf ANBU wearing. No, these are definitely not Leaf shinobi. They wear black cloaks over a black jacket with red straps over the shoulders.

_What village is this?_

I panic for a moment, thinking it might be Dream Village shinobi sent for me by Hiashi-Sama, but then I remember that Dream shinobi don't wear uniforms.

I'm guided out of the hideout by four shinobi. There's nobody guarding the entrance like usual, and I notice it's quieter outside too.

"The Akatsuki," I warn, half-expecting one to jump out of the bush any moment, "They always guard the entrance! And they're strong, you won't be able to fight them!"

I can't see my rescuers' faces under their white animal-like masks but I notice they don't even flinch at the mention of the Akatsuki.

"Yes," one of the men answers, voice calm and collected. "That's why we distracted them, so we could get you and the other hostages out."

Over my shoulder, back in the mountains, an explosion sounds and a mushroom-shaped cloud of smoke fills the air. I barely catch a glimpse of red cloud covered cloaks jumping away from the smoke, and other black-cloaked shinobi like the ones rescuing me appearing out of nowhere to fight the Akatsuki.

"They'll fight with purely defense techniques, their specilties," another man says as we jog into the forest. "Distracting the Akatsuki long enough for us to get away."

I don't question it. I just focus on my legs and the ground below me, each long step straining on my muscles as I struggle to keep up with these highly-trained shinobi. _Who are they?_

We travel for a long time and nobody talks. They move along like robots, trained on the forest ahead. Eventually, we stop and I sigh, happy for a break. My muscles scream, not used to running long distances.

"I'm sorry to do this, but we need to put you to sleep for security reasons," the woman says as she pulls a vile out of her pouch. Instinct tells me to scream, resist, and run away. But my body is exhausted and I'm so tired of belonging to the Akatsuki that I give in as she stabs me with the needle, letting one of the cloaked men catch me as I grow tired in his arms.

When I wake up, the room is dark except for a single light above me. It's bright and I go to put my hand over my eyes but it gets caught. When I look down, I see that the chair I'm sitting in has cuffs at the wrists and ankles, holding me firmly in place.

 _Of course,_ I think. _Another prison._

I don't struggle this time. I'm too tired to resist and honestly just happy to be away from the Akatsuki's glaring eyes. Any place, captive or not, is better than with the Akatsuki and their constant threats.

"So you're not going to fight the restraints?" a deep, masculine voice comes from the corner of the room and he emerges, face catching the light. Shadows run down his sharply-pointed face, further illuminating his scars and sunken cheekbones. He approaches the chair and pulls a key from his pocket, unlocking each restraint. First the ankles, then the wrists, one by one. _Click, click._ "Allow me to introduce myself," he says, putting a hand to his chest. His voice is strained and deep, with eyes to match the dark clothing and strange room with no windows. "Ibiki Morino." When he's fully in the light, and angles his head up, I see the forehead protector clear as day.

"The Hidden Leaf Village, huh?" I say, surprising myself with how calm I am. "It seems I can never get away from here. But I guess I'll take it over the alternative." Again, thoughts of the Akatsuki and their terrible torturous techniques sends shivers down my spine.

"I'm head of interrogation here in the Leaf, but I do not wish to interrogate you so as long as you answer my questions," he goes on, ignoring me. I nod, keeping my cool.

"That seems fair."

"Let's start with your name," he says, pulling a clipboard and pen out. "Age, and village."

"Misaki Kumara," I abide. "I'm 21 and I don't belong to any village."

He tilts his head, and the shadows illuminate his face differently. No matter how I look at him, he still manages to look tough and unreadable. I wonder how he got those scars.

"How long was the Akatsuki keeping you hostage? And do you know their purpose?"

I have to think about this one. I didn't really count the years go by-I was more focused on my training. "They took me in when I was 15," I say, remembering it like it was yesterday. "My old master was going to take my eyes so Ob-" I quickly correct myself, and Ibiki narrows his eyes. "-a man who goes by the name of Madara Uchiha took me in."

For one flitting moment, Ibiki drops his facade and I see panic and confusion come upon his face.

"Madara Uchiha is dead," he says, lowering his voice and leaning closer. His eyes are like cold stones.

"Yes, well it was someone who claimed to be him then." I say, avoiding the Obito topic. If he ever found out I told anyone about him, he'd come for me. Ever since that day I invaded his memories many years ago, he made me vow not to speak of it to anyone or he would make sure to personally kill me himself; and I don't doubt his threat one bit. He would certainly be capable of it.

Ibiki actually drops the clipboard to his side, and looks me right in the eyes.

"Your eyes," he says as he searches them. "They are a strange color. Usually genjutsu users have eyes like yours."

I dare to look right back at him. He doesn't flinch or waver or show any sign of fear. I'm most certain this man has seen worse in his life. The scars are an obvious indication.

"You're correct," I reply, crossing my arms. "Genjutsu is my clan's specialty." I purposefully avoid telling him about my mind-invasion capabilities. He doesn't press.

Leaning back on his heels, he lets out an audible breath. He brings the clipboard back to his torso and scribbles things down.

"What do you know about the Akatsuki's intentions?" he's almost whispering now, peering at me over the clipboard.

I sigh and look away from him. "They didn't let me in on much. But Madara mentioned wanting to destroy the Uchiha clan."

He tenses at this, and suddenly stops scribbling things on the clipboard. His eyes stay trained on the paper.

"What did he say about them?" his voice is darker now, and he carefully pronounces every word.

"That there's going to be a coup."

Silence fills the already empty room. Ibiki has stopped writing entirely. He still stares at the paper like it's about to jump or something.

A door opens up and light flushes in from the outside. It closes as quickly as it opened and the room is dark once again. From the corner emerges an old man wearing a long, white coat. He keeps his head low, to match his tone of voice.

"That much is true, Misaki. There has been turmoil here in the Leaf Village," his voice rings a bell of recognition. "Ever since that night, things have never been the same."

The Third Hokage.

He approaches the side of my chair, entering the bright beam of light. His eyes and cheeks look more sunken than I remember, and more wrinkles have formed on his face. Still, a sheen of kindness glimmers in his eyes, the same as they did nearly six years ago when he sat beside my hospital bed and offered me mercy.

The same old man who kept quiet about my secret, despite knowing what I did to aid the attack that night.

"My, you've changed. You're all grown up," he says, a smile on his lips. He laughs, coughing in the process. "Maybe I'm just getting old." He chuckles and the corners of my lips tighten into the slightest of smiles.

Perhaps I do have a friend in this world.


	12. The New Girl

The Third takes me to his office himself, but asks me to put my cloak hood up and keep my head down. We make it to his office and he sighs when we get through the doors.

I take my hood down and stand in the doorway while he goes to his desk. I still feel like I should be punished, banished from the Hidden Leaf Village.

"Lord Third..." I say, voice laced with shame, "You do know what I did all those years ago, right? Why are you letting me off with it?"

He grunts as he slides into his chair. He closes his eyes and keeps his head down while he speaks. "Like I said all those years ago in the hospital, I know that someone else was the mastermind behind the attack and you were just an unlucky apprentice."

"An Uchiha, right?"

He looks up, "What are you saying?"

"It was an Uchiha behind the attack."

He nods, grunting again in affirmation.

I choose my words carefully. "Did they ever find out who it was?"

The Hokage leans back in his chair and looks at the ceiling. "I think you already know who it was," he murmurs. I take a deep breath, keeping my composure.

My words are sculpted carefully. One wrong word and I could ruin this chance at a new life. "Do you, Hokage-Sama?"

His eyes catch mine and for a moment I wonder if all the Hokage can read minds. I remember that look the Fourth used to give me, like he could see right through my eyes and into my head. The Third just chuckles airily.

"I know enough to know it wasn't your choice, what you did. That's why I'm giving you another chance, Misaki. I know you're not a criminal." His voice sounds calm, reassuring. It reminds me of my grandmother's, the way her words fell off her tongue like a poem, able to heal all kinds of hurt.

"Sir," I whisper, bowing. "I can never repay you for your kindness."

"That will not be necessary," he says, coming around his desk. He touches my shoulder, beckoning me to stand. When I do, I am taller than him but he looks up at me confidently. _"You_ cannot stay in this village. You just spent the last many years training under S-ranked criminals, and you tried six years ago to kill the Hokage's son."

I look at him, my eyebrows lowering as a frown fills my features. "Where do you suggest I go? I can't return to my village. Lord Hiashi wants my eyes. And I'm sure the Akatsuki already has a kill order on me."

The Third's face is unreadable when he enters into thought again. "I said _you_ can't stay in the village, but we would be very welcoming of taking in an Akatsuki hostage..."

"What are you saying?" I ask, curiosity peaking. He isn't making any sense.

"I'll give you two choices, Misaki. You can leave the village and go on your own. I am not going to force you to stay here. Or," he goes back behind his desk, sitting and resting his chin on intertwined hands, elbows planted firmly on the desk, "you can change your identity."

"Pretend I'm someone else?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

"You'll change your hair, name, lie about your background," he explains thoughtfully. "I'll place you in the ANBU Black Ops. On missions, you'll be joined by other highly skilled ANBU shinobi who have experience with S-ranked criminals. The ANBU uniform includes a mask that will hide your face. You'll be unrecognizable, and most of the time you won't be in one place for too long. It will be very difficult for an enemy to recognize you and act on it."

His plan makes perfect sense. Still, the thought of joining the ANBU Black Ops fills me with all kinds of fear. I've seen the type of missions they're sent on-often assassinations. High ranked, top-secret missions... the real stuff. I'm strong, there's no doubt about that. Six years of training under an S-ranked rogue ninja wasn't for nothing. But that's my extent-training. I haven't put my skills into actual practice and I wonder if I will hesitate when my knife is at someone's throat.

"You'll be trained, of course. There are certain protocols all ANBU are expected to follow. After that, I'll place you on a team reporting directly to me," the next part he says quietly, keeping his head and voice low, "It will be our secret, of course. I'll give you some time to think about it."

I nod slowly, still trying to process everything.

The Hokage digs through a filing cabinet before walking over to me. My face is blank and I just stare at the wall. When he reaches his hand out, I snap out of it. In his hand is a key.

"Apartment 9, south-end complex," he says, placing the key in my hand. I look at his eyes again, searching for any kind of deception or lie. But he's an open book, all kindness and understanding. "Same building as your old apartment. I'd like to give you your old one but it's unfortunately filled. 9 is just down the hall from it, I trust you can find your way."

"Yes, thank you." I say, bowing respectfully. His hand finds my shoulder, comforting and warm.

"Come back here first thing tomorrow and we can discuss your decision."

I nod and leave his office, pulling my hood up in the process.

I take back streets and alleys to get to the south-end. It's been six whole years since anyone in this village has seen my face but I don't want to risk it. For a split second, I think about Kakashi Hatake watching me from the shadows behind the cat mask and I turn, checking all the dark spots. There is nobody, but the memory of my days under his strict supervision feel more real than ever as I travel in the dark.

I pass a corner store and stop for a moment, peeking through the window. I decide to go in, taking my hood down so as not to look suspicious. I doubt a store-clerk would recognize me anyways. Still, I make my stop quick and grab everything I need.

Some food, just granola bars and a couple of apples. Loose joggers and a t-shirt to sleep in. Some basic hygiene items. I get to the hair stuff and pause at the hair dyes. Taking a deep breath, I lean down and investigate the colors. There are so many options but I go with a basic light brown. I also grab a pair of barber's scissors from the shelf beside the dyes. I hesitate for a moment, then drop it into my basket.

When I get to the register, I realize I have no money. I never had a use for money in the hideout-everything was provided for me and there were obviously no stores. I panic, biting my lip and drawing blood while I put my items up on the counter. The clerk scans them, one by one. _Beep, beep, beep._ I look over my shoulder, checking for others. It's just us in the store, and nightfall is setting.

I have no choice but to-"Cash or card?" he asks. I turn and his eyes meet mine. They go glassy and he stands frozen behind the counter. Swiftly, I grab the items off the counter and push then into a bag, before quickly rushing out.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper as I leave the store, pulling my hood back up. He doesn't hear me, of course. He'll wake up soon and it will feel as if nothing happened. He won't even remember I was there.

As I'm heading to the apartment complex, I realize that was the first time I'd used my new technique outside of training. I'd perfected short-term memory manipulation just a few months ago. It doesn't work on long-term memories which are less plastic, but it's still pretty handy.

I reach apartment nine and the key clicks smoothly in the lock. The door opens and I find myself in an identical apartment to the one I stayed in six years ago. Closing the door behind me, I find the light. It clicks on and the electricity sounds a small, constant buzz in the ceiling.

I don't linger. I head straight for the small bathroom with the hair dye and scissors. The longer I remain with my uncommon white hair, the easier it is for someone to recognize me.

I run my fingers through it, scalp to waist. It's the longest I've ever grown it. Grabbing the end, I hold the scissors open and make the first cut. It's not going to be pretty, but it'll definitely make me look different. _Unrecognizable,_ I remember the Hokage saying.

I cut again, making it shorter. It's not enough. Again. Eventually, I reach my shoulder and cut one last time. Strands of white hair fall to the floor with the rest. I do this to the rest of my hair, cringing in the process. There's no going back now.

Finally, most of my white hair is on the ground. I look into the mirror and run my hands through my shoulder length locks. It already looks so different and I haven't even dyed it yet.

Taking a breath, I open the dye with shaking fingers.

While I sit on a chair at the dining table waiting for the hair dye to set in the plastic cap, I flip through a book I pulled off the shelf. It's titled _"The Five Great Nations, a History"._ I skim its pages, intrigued by the many maps, and images of the powerful Kage throughout the years. In Konoha's section, it ends after the Third Hokage and his picture appears much younger. Must be an older book, considering the Fourth had not been added yet.

The timer on top of the stove goes off and I walk back to the bathroom. My fingers tremble as I pull the plastic off and dip my head under warm water from the shower-head. Brown mixes with the water and flows like a river into the drain on the shower floor.

It takes me a minute to work up the courage to look up into the mirror. When I finally look up, I almost jump at the sight.

I grab my head, making sure it's really me in the mirror. If not for my bright red eyes, I wouldn't recognize myself. The brown locks reach just to my shoulders and curl a little at the end. The bangs are new too. They feel strange on my forehead.

As I stare, I can't help but wonder what this girl in the mirror will become. Who will she be? What will her background look like? Maybe now she'll actually belong to a clan still living.

She will never be _me,_ I remind myself. I will always just belong to the long-lost Kumara clan, gone extinct after the Third Shinobi War. But I can't help but feel hopeful for the new girl in the mirror. She smiles at me, running fingers through her hair. She also yawns, and decides it's time for bed.

In the morning, I dress again in the cloak but on the way to the Hokage's office, I keep the hood down. I still feel the urge to duck into the shadows whenever someone crosses my path but fight it, electing instead to keep my head down.

When I get to Lord Third's office, I knock three times. "Come in." The door opens and I step in, noticing the ANBU guards have returned to their usual posts at the doors.

The Hokage's eyes are trained on some papers on his desk. When he looks up, he does a double-take before composing himself.

"Leave us," he orders and the guards slip quietly out of the room, closing the door behind them.

"Hokage-Sama," I acknowledge him, bowing my head.

He looks at me, fascinated, and beckons me closer. I step closer and he eyes me carefully.

"Have you decided?" He says, keeping his voice low from the guards just outside the doors.

"I have." I answer.

"And?"

"Let's get this show on the road."


	13. Team Ro

I repeat my background story to him one last time, assuring him it's in my brain for good.

"My name is Mitsuki Yuhi. I specialize in genjutsu and am a distant cousin of Kurenai Yuhi of the Leaf. I was a hostage of the Akatsuki all my life, but the Leaf infiltrated their forces and rescued me. I am a water-style user." The Hokage specifically told me to use only one of my two chakra natures-revealing my kekkai genkai might raise suspicion. It's not every day one comes across a storm style user. I chose water, since I'm not very good at controlling my lightning without water present.

"Very good," he grumbles, walking back and forth behind his desk, hand on his chin. "I'll have to introduce you to Kurenai some time. She'll be excited to meet her distant cousin." He smirks but I don't return it. This all feels so strange.

"Yes, sir." I answer, getting to my knee to bow. He calls the ANBU back in from the hallway and they take a knee on either side of me, bowing before the Hokage.

"I'd like one of you to show Mitsuki here to the ANBU locker room, she's to meet up with Team Ro." They nod and stand, and one leads me out. One last look at the Hokage and he gives me a reassuring nod. I nod back but still feel afraid.

This is actually happening. I am actually about to become an ANBU Black Op of the Leaf. I swallow, hard.

 _The alternative was massacring an entire clan,_ I remind myself.

We get to a door at the bottom of the Hokage Tower and the ANBU slides it open, letting me in first.

"You can get your uniform at that window there," he says, pointing into the room with his chin while he holds the door open. "Good luck," he says as he goes to return to the Hokage's office and resume his duties.

I walk up to the window, feeling small in this strange room. "Hi," I say at the window. Someone sits behind it looking bored, "I need a uniform."

He looks me up and down and turns around to grab a cardboard box off the wall. On it says _'SF'_ which I assume stands for _Small_ and _Female_. He also grabs a black sword from a bin.

"Through the next room, you can change and then they'll tat you," he says as if scripted.

"Tat?" I ask, confused. I take the box and sword, which is safely stored in a holder with a strap.

"The tattoo," he says arrogantly. "The one all ANBU have."

I nod, maybe a little too quickly, and he falls back into his seat. His eyes are still bored and he points to a door on the other side of the room.

"Uh, thanks." I say, heading to the door.

I push it open and there are changing rooms. I find the closest one and click the lock shut.

In the box is the uniform. On top, the metal arm guards, spiked sandals, pouches, and porcelain mask. I take the mask out, my fingers grazing the smooth painted surface. It's cool to the touch.

The mask is a cat with red-stripes, much like the ones other ANBU wear. Mine has two stripes on either cheek, like whiskers, a triangle centered on the chin and forehead and round eye holes.

Also in the box is the grey flak jacket and black underclothes, as well as long black gloves that pass the elbows.

It takes me a few minutes to get all the gear on. The metal arm guards feel heavy and strange around my arms. I look in the mirror and put on the final piece-the mask-and stare at myself in the dark, cloudy mirror. I look just like any other ANBU. Taking the mask off, I step out of the dressing room in full gear.

The next room looks like a doctor's office. I'll bet it doubles as one.

I sit on the parchment covered bed and wait. Soon after, a man walks in wearing a white overcoat.

"I'll just perform a check-up and then we'll get to your tattoo-"

"Mitsuki Yuhi," I say, answering his question before he asks it. He nods and starts examining me. Everything from throat and ears to muscles and bones-this guy is highly knowledgeable about the human body. He checks everything quickly and with ease like he's done it a thousand times over.

"Everything looks good, Miss Yuhi," he says, ripping paper from the clipboard he holds and placing it in a filing cabinet with many others. "I'll give you your tattoo and you'll be good to go."

He has me sit on a chair instead of the table, and he pulls another one up beside me. Cleaning an area with a cotton swab on my left shoulder, it reminds me of getting a flu shot. I don't wince when the ink-infused needle starts piercing my skin. I've felt pain much worse than this.

It takes him about ten minutes and he wipes it one last time, examining his work. Holding up a mirror, I look at the fresh black ink swirling on my shoulder and notice the redness surrounding it.

"It'll be irritated for a few days-itchy. But don't scratch it, and no water on it for at least a week."

I stand and give him a nod, thanking him. As I leave the room, I look down my left arm at the black symbol surrounded by pink skin. It's official now.

The doctor's office leads into another dark hallway. There are numbers on some doors, and team names on the others. I approach the one that says "RO" and hesitate before reaching for the door knob.

I wonder who my teammates will be and what they will be like. Will the captain be a hard-ass? There's only one way to find out.

I reach for the door knob and turn. The door squeaks open and all voices from inside the room fall silent. Faces turn to look at me with curious eyes.

"Hello," I say, trying to sound confident but my voice squeaks and I know I'm already not making a good first impression. I quickly clear my throat, straightening up. "I'm Mitsuki Yuhi, the newest member of your team. I need to speak to your captain."

"That would be me," he says, pulling his head out of the locker and turning to face me. I almost have a heart attack when I see him. My blood runs cold, fear taking flight. I wonder if I might puke or faint or-"Are you okay? Why don't you sit."

One of the other men puts a hand on my shoulder, guiding me to the bench. My eyes never leave the captain's, and his narrow in on mine.

"Have we met before?" he asks, squinting.

"No," I gulp, pushing back the knot in my throat. "I don't believe so."

He closes his eyes and shakes his head like a wet dog would-trying to clear his mind. _Please, god, don't let him recognize me._

"Of course," he says, "My bad. I'm Kakashi Hatake, captain of Team Ro." He reaches out to shake my hand but I sit still, hands plastered to my lap.

"Mitsuki Yuhi," I say, offering him a small nod. He eyes me carefully and I feel paralyzed under his gaze. His red sharingan and black eye glare into mine, eyebrows furrowed. He nods back, returning to his locker.

"Okay, Team Ro," he finally changes the topic and I breathe again. "We're meeting at training ground three in ten minutes for greetings and to teach our new member the ANBU rules and formations." Everyone nods in unison and goes to their designated lockers to gather their things. The silver-haired shinobi opens the locker beside his, "This is the only empty locker left-it's yours."

_Of course, of all the lockers I get stuck with the one beside him. There's no getting away from him._

I put my old clothes, my black cloak and such, into the locker along with my valuables pouch I always used to carry on me. These trinkets from my past are no more than a hindrance for me now. I'm an ANBU now, I can't afford to think about an anonymous letter or my neglectful adoptive parents.

People start to trickle out of the room, headed for training ground three. I'm one of the last ones and Kakashi heads to the door. He stops and turns to face me. I can see his sharingan shining through the hole of the cat-like mask.

"You coming, Yuhi?" he says, calling me by my supposed surname.

I nod, sliding on my own porcelain mask and following him out.

Everyone mingles in the clearing. Some lean back on trees and look at the sky while others toss kunai an shuriken at targets, hitting the bullseye every time.

Kakashi leans against a jutting rock, arms crossed. His eyes, one black and one red, are trained on me, carefully observing. I try not to look at him but it's hard when he's so persistently staring at me. To distract myself, I approach some targets and grab a shuriken out of my pouch. I toss it easily towards the target, hitting the bullseye with perfect precision.

His eyes are still trained on me and I throw another one. Bullseye. Another. I can still feel his glare in the back of my head and grab some kunai knives out of my holster. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath in. There are multiple knives between my fingers and I toss them, each one hitting a target around the training ground.

Behind me, several kunai fly past, near-missing my head, and pierce through the holes on the handles of my knives, each on hitting the bullseye on the targets and pushing mine out. I stare ahead in shock.

"Itachi, you're late," someone says.

_Itachi?_

I whip around and see a young boy standing a few feet away. Everyone's eyes are trained on him.

"Itachi Uchiha," the name falls off my tongue before I can stop it, and I stare at the 13 year old in full ANBU attire. The young boy from the wine-cellar seems like a distant memory when I stare into his all-serious, onyx eyes.

"Nice to meet you," he says, stretching a hand out to shake with a closed eye smile. "You must be the new member."

"Mitsuki Yuhi," I say as I take his hand to shake. His handshake is firm. I can't be sure but he looks at me with a pang of recognition. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

"Let's do introductions so Mitsuki can get to know the team," Kakashi says, stepping into the middle of the clearing so everyone can see him. "I'll start. Kakashi Hatake, 22, lightning style user. Something about me... I like to read when I'm not on missions and my teacher was the Fourth Hokage."

People go around, introducing themselves and saying some things about them. I tune most of it out, still watching the tiny ANBU member with grey hair and onyx eyes. I wonder if he knows about the impending coup.

"Tenzo, 18, wood style," a teenager says. I take my eyes off Itachi when I hear _wood style._

"Wood?" I ask, intrigued. The brown-haired boy with a strange metal face-piece nods.

"I inherited the First Hokage's cells and can therefore execute wood style jutsu," he says casually. "In my free time I like to train and experiment with architecture."

I nod, intrigued by his unique ability. I have never heard of wood release before.

Itachi goes next. "Itachi Uchiha. I am 13 and my clan specializes in fire-style jutsu, but I also like to use water style." _This kid is seriously strong for his age._ "I don't have much spare time anymore but I like spending time with my younger brother Sasuke."

Sasuke, the infant he was protecting the night of the Nine-Tail's attack. He'd be six years old now.

I snap out of my thoughts when I realize all eyes are on me.

"Your turn, introduce yourself. Name, age, abilities, and something interesting about you apart from your abilities." Kakashi says, waving his hand while he speaks. The other one rests lazily in his pocket.

I gulp a little, trying to think up what I should say. I think back to my background story rehearsals with the Third Hokage. The words flow effortlessly, "My name is Mitsuki Yuhi. I am 21 years old and I am a water-style user. I'm adept at genjutsu." I keep it short, avoiding the genjutsu topic as much as possible. "I was an Akatsuki hostage since birth," the lie comes easily, having rehearsed it a hundred times. "But the Root Foundation shinobi of the Leaf infiltrated the hideout and recovered me on their most recent mission."

The ANBU on team Ro nod, taking in every detail of my perfectly crafted lie without question. Kakashi's eyes search mine, looking for signs of deception. I force a closed eye smile.

"Alright, that's good for now," he mutters. "Let's get to formations."

I learn the formations and secret hand signs quickly. Most of it is self-explanatory-hand in the air means to wait, fist is go, two fingers means 'all clear/move on' and so on. Something different is that the ANBU use what's called a _Reciprocal Formation_ or buddy system. When one goes in to fight, the other is responsible for backing them up and vise-versa.

The buddies had to be re-evaluated with my entrance to Team Ro which means many teams were changed around. Nobody complains or shows any sign of annoyance, complying like well-trained dogs. I end up with a purple-haired kunoichi named Yugao Uzuki.

Kakashi sighs, looking at the sun as it begins to set over the horizon. Cool air has begun blowing through the trees. "That's good for today. You're all released until our next assignment," he says, and people begin to toddle off.

I take a few steps with the others, trying to leave as quickly as possible, but a hand grabs my shoulder. I turn and Kakashi is standing above me. He's nearly a head taller than me.

"I'd like to speak with you, if that's alright," he says, his hand still planted firmly on my shoulder.

"You don't need my permission. You're my captain, after-all." I remind him. He removes his hand from my shoulder and I step back, putting some distance between us. His eyes lose their usual authoritative glare.

"I don't mean to address you as your higher-up," he mutters, eyes taking on a lazy look. "I'd like to speak to you as a fellow shinobi."

Hesitantly, I nod and we begin to walk, leaving the training ground behind in the setting sun.

I take deep breaths, preparing myself for whatever the silver-haired shinobi has to say to me.

_Does he see remember me? Can he past my disguise?_


	14. Secrets

We walk side-by-side down the streets of Konoha, the sun setting behind us. I feel my blood running cold with the gradually chilling air, fear preparing me for what he has to say. Even if he recognizes me, surely he wouldn't kill me, would he? There'd be great consequences if he were to do that.

I glance sidelong at him, searching his features for any sign of recognition or anger.

Once we reach a side street, nobody else around, he speaks quietly.

"There are things I must talk to you about," he mutters, eyes scanning the alleys and windows to make sure we have no onlookers. I feel my legs begin to shake in fear. _If he attacked me, could I fight him? I've gotten stronger in these last six years, but will it be enough to defend myself?_

"Okay," I say tentatively, voice quiet.

He stops and turns to face me. I also stop but avoid his eyes.

"I know I don't have the greatest reputation here in the Leaf Village," he says. His eyes flicker with emotion I can't place. "Now that we'll be executing missions on the same team, I want to be sure you can work well with me."

I let out a breath of relief, glad to know this is not about my identity. _Thank god._

"No," I answer him, keeping my eyes on the ground. "You don't have a good reputation at all, captain."

"If that's a problem, I can speak to Lord Third about assigning you to a different team, Mitsuki," his voice is cool and collected. He doesn't sound suspicious about my identity at all.

"Can I just... ask you something?" I feel my legs stop shaking, confidence rolling out of nowhere. He nods, waiting patiently for me to speak.

"Why did you let them die? Your comrades? Your friends..."

His eyes widen and he looks at me as I have two heads. He quickly collects himself, blinking a few times.

"I-" he pauses, unsure of himself for a brief moment. "I never intended for them to die. My number one goal is to protect my comrades. How- how did you know about that... Why are you asking me this?"

I turn away, still avoiding his eyes as if making eye-contact would make him recognize me and trigger his anger. 

"I don't understand how you can go on living after what you've done," my voice is low and steady. Kakashi has stopped trying to make me look at him and is in his own world of thought. The seconds pass slowly, feeling tense and dragged out.

"Every day is a struggle," he suddenly admits, voice soft and full of pain. His hard, collected captain facade drops, revealing a boy strung high with emotions. "I don't usually talk to people about it. I don't like to talk about it."

I nod, understanding, but still mad.   
  
"You don't need to speak to the Third, I can handle being on your team." I state begrudgingly before pouncing off. I won't give him the satisfaction of shooing me off the team. I'm way stronger than he thinks, and I can handle things myself.

And there's no way I'm going back to the south-end apartments right now when Kakashi is probably headed the same way. I head to the Hokage's office instead, hoping he hasn't gone home yet.

I get there and knock on the doors, and to my surprise they open. The Hokage has his coat on and things gathered, looking like he's about to head home. No ANBU guard the door, probably released of their duties for the night.

"Oh, Misa-- Mitsuki." He quickly corrects himself, closing his office doors and locking them. 

"Hokage-Sama, I need to speak to you." I say.

"I was just heading home, but you can walk with me." He does a closed eye smile and we start to walk. The hallways are oddly empty--I'm not used to seeing them at this time of night.

"Hokage-Sama, Kakashi Hatake and I do not see eye-to-eye," I start.

"Well, not many see eye-to-eye with Kakashi," he chuckles airily.

"No, you don't get it. We have a history--"

"Oh? You and Kakashi?" the Third says, peering sidelong at me. I feel my cheeks go hot and quickly correct him.

"No, no, not _that_ kind of history. Not at all." I say, crinkling my nose at the thought. "You see, six years ago when I first came to the Leaf, Kakashi tried to kill me."

"Yes, go on," the Third says, but he doesn't sound at all surprised.

"So you know about it." I say, looking ahead at the long hallway.

"No, but I am not surprised. Kakashi has a dark history, Mitsuki. I wouldn't put it past him."

"Then why did you put me on his team?" I ask, almost whining. 

The Hokage just smiles, the wrinkles by his eyes scrunching together.

"Because Kakashi needs you just as much as you need him."

I'm confused by the Third's statement and it takes a few moments to understand it.

"So you think being on Kakashi's team will help me get over my past? Because right now, it's making it worse, sir. All I can see when I'm with Kakashi is his blinding chidori, threatening to kill me." I feel myself getting angry but take deep breaths. There's no use yelling at the Hokage.

"Mitsuki," he says, stopping in his steps. "Kakashi and you are more alike than you think. He grew up without a mother and his father died when he was a young boy. His clan is no more, he's the last one. He grew up in the dark, shutting out his friends and comrades. He has done unspeakable things that he still cannot forgive himself for."

"Yeah, he killed his two closest comrades."

"No, Mitsuki," Lord Third says lowly. I freeze and furrow my eyebrows. "There's more to his story than that... just like there's more to yours. Kakashi still has a long way to go, but there are things you can learn from him. He's found it in his heart to forgive you, even without knowing the whole story."

"So nobody has told him about the Uchiha figure," I ask quietly. The Hokage shakes his head, frowning.

"We cannot tell anyone about that, Mitsuki. The village is already in a tough place with the Uchiha clan. Confirming the suspicions that there was an Uchiha--rogue or not--behind the attack will only make matters worse. It's a difficult decision, but as the Hokage of this village, I will do everything in my power to protect the village, even if it means lying."

 _He's right,_ I think. _I can't tell anyone about Obito because it could destroy the already fragile situation._

"Hokage-Sama... about the Uchiha situation--" I'm about to tell him about the figure's plan to massacre the Uchiha clan but he cuts me off firmly.

"It is not your concern, Mitsuki," the authority has returned to his voice, suiting of a Hokage.

"But sir-"

"I will not hear of it anymore."

I frown and stare at the ground as we continue walking. Maybe I can try again tomorrow. Or maybe I shouldn't try at all-- _he's right, it could make things worse_. Civil war could break out in the village if this information gets out.

I sigh when we get to the front entrance of the Hokage Tower.

"Goodnight, Hokage-Sama." I mutter as we go our separate ways. He nods but doesn't smile, and I know I've prodded around too much. It's not my place to negotiate with the Hokage. I need to stick to my duties as an ANBU of this village. 

When I get home, I fall into a chair at the kitchen table. Sighing, I rest my head on my hands.

The burden of knowing something bad about to happen and not being able to do anything about it weighs on me. If I told anyone, Obito could kill me himself or civil war could break out in the Leaf Village. If I keep it a secret, I have to live with that burden for the rest of my life. 

I think about the children of the Uchiha clan--children like Itachi and Sasuke who are caught in the middle of the unfortunate situation.

Before I go to sleep, after lots of thinking and re-thinking, I decide the best I can do for the Uchiha clan and Hidden Leaf Village is try to stop it myself. I have to kill Obito before the massacre happens.

It's an impossible task to do alone, but there's nobody I can tell to help me with it. I'll just have to get stronger, and fast.

* * *

The sun rises, shining brightly through the window. I yawn and stretch, rolling out of bed.

I take a shower, enjoying the hot liquid as it runs over my skin. After, I put my ANBU uniform on and grab an apple before I leave the apartment. 

As always, the village is already crawling with people while the morning air is still cool. Children run through the streets, chasing each other and laughing. I wonder if I would have laughed like that if I'd grown up here. 

Vendors pull people in, trying to sell things to passing citizens, but none try to beckon me. Nobody speaks to me or smiles at me as I pass. It could be the mask, hiding my face and identity, that makes everyone so afraid to speak to me.

My eyes are trained on the road ahead as I pass all kinds of restaurants. The smell of sweet dango l makes my mouth water as I pass by the sweet food-place. 

"Oy!" someone shouts. I turn and see a strangely dressed man standing on one of the benches. I wince when I notice how tight his green bodysuit is. _That's just wrong._ "Hey, you! With the brown hair and funny mask!" _He's talking to me,_ I think. The green guy waves his hands on the bench, drawing my full attention. I stop walking and stare from afar. 

Other people around him pull him off the bench, obviously embarrassed by him. One girl catches my eye. Her hair is black and her eyes are a rich red color. "Gai, let her go! She's probably got somewhere to be," she lectures, pulling the green one off the bench.

"Kurenai!" he pleads, so full of energy I wonder how much sugar he has already had this morning. "She is on the ANBU and I _need_ to ask her if she's seen Kakashi! Our rivalry is _calling me!"_ Gai gives an enthusiastic thumbs up and tears threaten to spill from his eyes. 

I step off the street into the dango shop. Eyes are trained on me as I approach. Apart from the ones named Gai and Kurenai, there are also ____ other men. One of them sits beside Kurenai and has dark hair and tanned skin. 

When I reach the group, all of them peer at me curiously.

"I've never seen you around the village before," the tan one says, taking a puff of his cigarette. 

"Asuma! You really need to stop smoking," Kurenai exclaims, crossing her arms and turning her back to him. He _hmphs_ and puts his cigarette out begrudgingly. 

I chuckle at the two of them and introduce myself. "I'm new in the village," I say, taking my porcelain mask off feeling the cool air on my skin. "I'm Mitsuki Yuhi," I say, directing towards Kurenai. Her red eyes meet mine and she raises her eyebrows in surprise.

"Yuhi?" she asks, scratching her head. I nod and lean against a support beam. 

"Hokage-Sama says you're my distant cousin... I've been an Akatsuki hostage my whole life, until recently." I force a smile and search the eyes of my onlookers, hoping they buy into the lie.

"I see," Kurenai says, coming around the table. She reaches her hand out and I take it willingly. "Nice to meet you, Mitsuki. I'm Kurenai and this is Asuma, Gai, Kotetsu, Hayate, Genma, Ebisu, and Izumo." She lists each one off, though I know I'll forget and confuse their names. I offer them all nods.

"You spent your whole life with the Akatsuki?" the one named Hayate asks, voice full of shock. 

"Something like that," I mutter, "I was a hostage but they trained me." It's partly true. I was sort of a hostage, and I was trained--just not by Akatsuki members themselves. But it's not like I can tell them about Obito Uchiha. 

"I can see why you're an ANBU now, then. I'm sure your skills are unprecedented, being raised by S-ranked criminals," Genma says, squinting his eyes in suspicion. 

I laugh, not knowing how to reply. Gai stands again, pointing a finger directly at me. His eyes look to be on fire, "You are a perfect rival for me! I can always do with another rival! We can have a three-way rivalry! Me, you, and Kakashi!" He shouts, spinning and twirling dramatically. _W_ _hat a freaky, strange man. His bowl-cut and bushy eyebrows don't help at all._

I laugh again, putting my hands up in defense with a closed eye smile. "I appreciate the offer but--"

"There he is!" Gai says, cutting me off and dragging someone from the street over. "My other rival!"

"Gai, please, would you just calm down?" Kurenai begs, slumped in her seat.

"Youth waits for nobody!"

When I open my eyes, Kakashi is under Gai's hold. He's wearing his ANBU uniform but his cat-mask is nowhere to be seen. He spots mine in my hand and raises an eyebrow.

"You don't need to wear your mask when we're not on assignments, Mitsuki," he says, slipping out of Gai's grasp. Gai makes a pouty-face and slumps down after being ignored by Kakashi.

"Oh," I say quietly. 

"You guys on the same team?" Asuma asks, pointing to Kakashi and I. Kakashi nods but offers no expression.

"Then you know Yugao!" Hayate says, smile rising to his lips. His eyes light up at the mention of her name.

"Yes," I answer, "I guess everyone knows each other in this village... I never thought--I mean, the village is so huge, I didn't think the people would be so connected."

"It's a small world," Kurenai notes, smiling at me while she does. 

Kakashi looks between me and Kurenai, putting two-and-two together.

"I should get going," I say, "But it was nice meeting you all." I turn to walk away but Kurenai calls out after me.

"We should get together some time, Mitsuki. I'd love to get to know you."

I nod back, smiling. 

_It's all a lie. I'm not her cousin at all but everyone here thinks I am. I'm living a lie... and it feels good._

I make a mental note to thank the Hokage for this genius plan next time I see him and head off to the training grounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey reader! It's been a while since I said hi. How are you liking the story so far? I've got some interesting things planned for the next few chapters (I'm actually about four chapters ahead in writing, at the time of posting this, and publishing steadily instead of all at once) and I can't wait for you to read it!!
> 
> I love writing, it's like I get to explore this world inside my head and experience it for myself. Ultimately, I am writing for YOU, the reader, hoping you find enjoyment in this imaginary world too, so if you really are enjoying, feedback in the comments or in my DMs is ALWAYS appreciated!
> 
> I love you, wonderful readers! <3
> 
> ~Rosa


	15. Truth and Fate

The training grounds are quiet for the time of day. As the sun appears through some clouds overhead, I throw kunai knives at targets.

Target training is getting boring, but I can't practice genjutsu unless I have someone to practice on--and I can't practice on anyone without them finding out about my memory-invasion techniques. For a moment, I actually miss training with Obito Uchiha. 

The moment of reminiscing is cut short when someone comes up behind. 

"Hey," he says, shooting me a wave. It's Itachi.

"Oh, hey there." 

Itachi walks past me and pulls my kunai knives out of the targets. He hands them back to me and prepares his own.

"So, what do you think so far?" he asks, throwing a kunai at an empty target.

"Huh? Think of what?" I find a tree and lean against it. Itachi throws kunai and they all hit perfectly with ease.

"The ANBU."

"Oh," I say, running a hand through my hair. "It's alright. How long have you been in the ANBU?"

Itachi walks over to grab his kunai from the targets then puts them back in their holsters. "A couple years. First joined when I was 11."

 _Are you serious?_ That's what I want to say but I keep my awe to myself, determined to maintain a strong composure. "You mentioned you have a brother," I say, steering the conversation to something easy. 

Itachi finds a rock jutting from the ground and sits on top of it. "Yes, his name is Sasuke. He's six."

"If he's anything like you, he's probably pretty strong for his age," I remark, smiling kindly. Itachi doesn't smile back but I see his eyes soften.

"Sasuke trains hard, but he's got a ways to go yet. It's not easy, trying to live up to the Uchiha name," Itachi mutters. His tone is unreadable. I can't help but wonder what Itachi knows about the tension with the Uchiha clan and village.

I push off the tree and head to the middle of the training ground. 

"I'm a genjutsu user," I say. "Mind if I practice something on you?"

Itachi comes out into the middle of the field and nods, taking a seat cross-legged on the grass. 

"It's a new technique I've been working on," I say, kneeling down to be closer to his level. I steady myself on one knee and rest my elbows steadily on the other. "I'd appreciate it if you don't mention it to anyone... It's still a work-in-progress." 

"I understand," he says obediently. "I look forward to seeing what you're working on. I'm a genjutsu user myself." He rests his hands in his lap and looks me in the eyes. I nod firmly and close my eyes, gathering up my chakra. When I open them, I cast him into the genjutsu with ease.

He allows me to manipulate the neural transmissions in his brain without resistance. It's strange to enter someone's head without them trying to force me out. Even when I trained with Obito, he always kept a slight wall of resistance, keeping me out of his most vulnerable memories.

This genjutsu appears more like a regular genjutsu to the opponent. They see themselves, sitting on a chair in the middle of an empty abyss. What they don't realize is that I am in control of their ability to admit things. I ask a question and they answer truthfully every time, unable to lie or hold information back. 

My plan with Itachi is to find out what he knows about the Uchiha Coup and immediately wipe his memory before releasing him from the jutsu. He'll break out of the genjutsu with only memory of a white abyss and I'll tell him my genjutsu failed, thanking him for allowing me to try.

 _That's the plan, at least._ If _everything goes to plan._

He sits on the chair, observing the white abyss around him.

"Not very intimidating, Mitsuki-san. Gotta try harder than that if you're gonna scare me." I laugh and take hold of his ability to lie. He only feels a strange sensation and shifts in his chair.

I begin.

"Tell me what you know about Uchiha involvement the night of the nine-tails attack on the Hidden Leaf Village, six years ago."

His answer is automatic, robot like. He submits to my question without resistance. I've got a good hold of him. It's nearly impossible for him to break out now. "The Hokage and village council suspect an Uchiha was behind the attack, controlling the nine tailed fox with their sharingan."

Itachi shifts in his seat, eyebrows furrowing. He seems confused by what he just said. He shakes his head, trying to understand what's happening. 

"What do you know about the coup?" I ask, voice echoing though the abyss.

Again, Itachi shifts uncomfortably. I feel a small amount of resistance. He's picking up on what's going on.

Nonetheless, his mouth answers for him. "The Uchiha clan is plotting to overthrow the Hokage and most of the council, for fear of being repressed more than we already are."

The resistance gets stronger and I know I must work fast.

"What is your role in the coup?"

"I act as a double-agent spy for my father Fugaku, and for the Third Hokage. My hope is to resolve the issues between my clan and the village and prevent another war."

 _I see. A double-agent, huh?_ So he plans to try and find peace by working for both sides. This boy is full of surprises.

The resistance grows stronger by the second and I know I need to end the genjutsu soon, but I can't help but ask one more question. Itachi is squirming in his seat.

"Do you know who I am?"

He answers quick and I break the genjutsu as soon as he does, "Yes."

My eyes wide, I quickly cast a short-term memory invasion jutsu while Itachi is still waking up. It doesn't go through. I try again, more panicked. No transmission at all.

Itachi is still cross-legged on the grass, his head looking down into his lap. I kneel a few feet from him, my eyes tired and struggling to cast a short-term memory manipulation jutsu. Slowly, Itachi looks up from his lap. His eyes glow red, both sharingan looking right at me. 

"Shit," I say under my breath. I couldn't erase his memory, so he remembers everything I asked him inside the genjutsu.

"Of course I know who you are," he says, narrowing his eyes. He remains seated so I stay in my kneeling position, eyes trained on his every move--ready to run if I need to. "It's smart, saying you're related to Kurenai Yuhi as an excuse for your rare eye color."

For a few moments, I try to interpret his voice. He doesn't seem angry. 

"Lord Third's idea," I say calmly. Itachi deactivates his sharingan and sighs.

"I won't tell anyone," he answers my next statement before I can even say it. "It is Lord Third's orders, after all."

I nod but something still doesn't sit right. I stand up and so does Itachi. He puts his hands in his pockets and is about to turn away but I stop him.

"Wait," I say. He stops and looks at me over his shoulder. "I might be able to help you."

He turns to face me and blinks a few times. "How so?"

"I have information--information relating to..." I avoid using the word _massacre._ "...the _situation_ with your clan."

Itachi nods and turns back, walking away once again. "Come."

We walk towards the Uchiha district, which has been moved to the side of the village since the nine-tails attack six years ago. Everywhere, there are ANBU Black Ops posted, keeping watch on the compound. I take deep breaths, constantly aware the glaring eyes all around.

"How do I know I can trust you?" Itachi asks quietly. 

"You'll trust me once you hear what I have to say," I reply, keeping my eyes forward. Itachi gives me a sidelong glance before we walk the rest of the way in silence.

Itachi is all business. The kind, welcoming boy from the training ground is gone and replaced with a serious, goal-oriented shinobi. If not for his height--he's a couple heads shorter than me--I would think him to be older than he is. I still can't believe he is only 13.

We enter Itachi's house and take our shoes off in the doorway. Before we can go anywhere, a young boy runs up to us. 

"Onii-chan! Come, I want to show you how much my jutsu has improved! I've been practicing a lot!" The young boy with dark navy hair jutting out in the back like a duck is undoubtedly Itachi's younger brother. His onyx eyes are almost identical to Itachi's.

"Not today, Sasuke." Itachi says, pushing his shoes to the side and stepping up onto the hardwood.

"Onii-chan! You promised! You said yesterday you had the day off today and you could watch me train!" Sasuke pouts, following his older brother into the house.

We get to a sliding door and Itachi opens it, leading me in. He turns back to his younger brother, trying to follow us in, and pokes him on the forehead with two fingers. Sasuke stumbles back and massages his forehead.

"Another day, Sasuke."

I can't help but feel bad for Sasuke when Itachi closes the door on him. But Itachi's face is still serious and I don't bother saying anything. I just follow him into yet another room. This one is empty, and there are no windows. It must be in the middle of the house, surrounded by rooms on all sides. There are multiple doors, probably leading to the rest of the house.

Itachi activates his sharingan and looks around. 

"Nobody's around. You can talk, but make it brief." He turns to look up at me, sharingan still activated. Even though I'm taller than him, I feel small under his stare. His eyes are a wall--I cannot read his emotions. The only thing I feel is cold and dark as I look into his eyes. I feel myself shiver.

I don't bother holding anything back. Something tells me this kid is prepared to hear what I have to say. I cut straight to the chase. "Someone is planning to massacre your clan."

Itachi doesn't flinch. He keeps looking straight at me, sharingan seemingly glowing in the dark room. "Go on."

"He goes by the name Madara Uchiha," Itachi flinches now, at the mention of Madara. "He works for the Akatsuki. He's planning to take advantage of the upcoming coup to execute his plan."

Itachi is speechless, yet he doesn't seem surprised. He takes another look around, scanning the walls with his sharingan, making sure there are no listeners.

"When?" he whispers.

"I don't know," I admit, "Sometime soon. He's been planning it for a while."

"Who else have you told?"

"Nobody. Not even Lord Third." 

Itachi nods, looking at the ground. 

"I want to help you," I plea, fighting for his eye contact. I expect to see sadness but there's nothing but hardness in his eyes. "We can work together to prevent this."

Right then, Itachi's face fills with fear for the first time. Real, genuine fear. For a moment, I see him in the light of a 13 year old boy with the weight of his entire clan on his shoulders. 

"No," he whispers, so quiet I almost don't hear it. He seems to be speaking more to himself than to me. "No, there's nothing we can do about it now."

I furrow my brows, searching Itachi's face. He stands firm, eyes reflecting that of a soldier's. The wall and darkness have returned. "Itachi..." I mutter, "What are you saying?"

"This is what must happen if war is to be avoided. Regardless of how you look at it, a massacre is inevitable... I've just been- I've avoided thinking about that possibility until now. But you opened my eyes."

_Oh, dear god. What have I done?_

"Itachi, listen to me! I'm saying we can work together and prevent this!"

His anger takes me by surprise, and I take a step back. His voice echoes in the darkness, "How?There's only one way negotiations between the Uchiha and village Council will turn out. Because I know my father, and I know he and the other Uchiha leaders will just keep demanding things the village doesn't want to give." Itachi forms fists at his sides, but he keeps control of himself. As would be expected of a soldier. "We've been oppressed for years, feared by the village. So regardless of how you look at it, the outcome is inevitable." 

For a moment, I have to close my eyes and get a hold of myself. Itachi stands, unwavering, in the middle of the room. His body language speaks a sort of resolve. Eyes wide, confident, and strong-willed. Feet planted on the ground, not a shiver of fear in him. 

"Itachi..." I whisper, unsure of what to say. Tears threaten at the corners of my eyes. "You can't just give up, there has to be another way to stop this. Listen, I worked with the person claiming to be Madara and I know his style. I trained under him for six years. Maybe-maybe if we can stop him before he gets here-" my voice cracks on every syllable. The familiar feeling of helplessness weighs me down and I feel a terrible pit forming in my stomach. "There just has to be some way to stop it... _there has to be another way."_

Itachi stares at me for a few seconds, frown evident on his face. He furrows his eyebrows and lets out a sigh. "If he is who he claims to be, we have no chance. But there might be _something_ I can do..." he whispers the last part to himself, his words sound question-like on his tongue. I see his eyes soften before he closes them tightly. He forms fists at his sides, and I can see the burden he carries.

I want to explode. I want to tell Itachi that it is Obito, not Madara, but when I open my mouth to speak, no words come out. Obito's threats play like a broken record in my memory, and I somehow know that if I tell _anyone_ about him, he'll find me and slit my throat without a second thought.

When I look again at Itachi, his face has gained a look of resolve. He is back to his all-business calm, a stature of confidence to hide all the underlying pain.

"I have to go. I told my friend Shisui I'd meet him tonight."

Just like that, Itachi is gone. He walks out of the room in long, even strides. I'm left standing alone in the empty room, trying to catch my breath as it gets heavier. 

Fear instills me head to toe. _He can't be serious._ It doesn't seem like Itachi to just give up like that, especially where his entire clan is concerned. His family--his brother. Will he really just accept a fate like that? _Maybe I don't know him as much as I thought I did. Maybe he is just a coward, after-all._

I have to talk to him. No damn way I'm sitting back while Obito Uchiha massacres his clan, and no way I'm letting Itachi accept that either. _We can stop this. We will. I just have to convince Itachi._

I run through the Uchiha district, trying to keep eyes on Itachi. He walks quickly on ahead. I'm just about to catch up to him when I bump into someone.

"Ow!" they shout, dropping a bag of groceries. I look over their shoulder for Itachi but he has slipped away.

"Damn it!" I exclaim, quickly getting up and sprinting. "So sorry," I shout over my shoulder at the old lady I'd bumped into. I don't have time to stop and help her pick up. I _need_ to make it to Itachi and talk some sense into him.

I once again catch sight of him, slipping into the forest. I follow him, trying to catch up, but he maneuver's through the trees quickly.

He reaches the top of a hill and disappears from my sight for a moment. When I finally get to the top, I stay hidden in the bushes. There's another boy his age, I'm assuming it's Shisui, standing on the edge of the cliff, looking out at the waterfall. It's difficult to hear their conversation over the gushing noise from the river below. I only catch random words here and there--barely enough to piece together any meaning.

"Danzo and his Foundation have gotten involved... no way to stop the Coup... other countries invade... internal warfare..."

I strain to hear Shisui over the noise from the waterfall. If I get any closer, they will definitely notice me.

Shisui turns and I almost shriek when I see his shriveled, bleeding eye socket. One of his eyes is missing. Ripped clean out of the socket. The other is a strange sharingan unlike any I've ever seen.

Shisui takes his fingers and pulls out his one remaining eye, and I cover my mouth to prevent from screaming. He holds out his hand and gives the eye to Itachi as a back bird swoops down and grabs it, disappearing in an explosion of feathers.

I can feel my heart beat rapidly in my chest. More words are exchanged between the two boys. The sky goes dark as the sun disappears over the horizon.

"You know what you must do. Protect the village and honour the Uchiha name."

Shisui takes slow steps backwards, towards the edge of the cliff. I feel my breath catch in my throat.

Itachi leaps forward, hand outstretched. "Wait, Shisui!"

"Don't stop me, Itachi."

And he falls. Backwards off the cliff, the slightest smile on his lips. Itachi jumps forward, terror filling his features, but he cannot save his friend. Shisui falls into the gushing water below, and Itachi falls to his knees at the edge, looking down and crying his name.

I run away as fast as my legs will carry. When I reach the streets, I find a dark alley between two buildings. When I slip into the alley way, I fall to my knees. Sobs escape my lips and for some reason, I can't seem to control myself. The scene flashes over in my head as I try to make sense of it all.

I clench the ground, dirt rubbing between my fingers. Tears fall from my eyes and mix with the dirt, making a puddle of mud below me. I have to grit my teeth to prevent from yelling.

I don't know how long I stay there for. I can't get myself to leave here. I don't want to face the real world anymore. I wish I could escape, but there's no escaping the knowledge that haunts me every second of every day. Even if I were to leave here, the memories will follow and I know they won't ever go away. Not as long as I live.


	16. The Burden of Knowledge

Whispers on the streets of Konoha the next day are passed from person to person, his name echoing all over the village,

_"Shisui Uchiha,"_

_"They found his body in the river, both of his eyes were stolen."_

_"Trouble in the Uchiha district..."_

But nobody ever mentions Itachi. Instead, the word _"suicide"_ floats off people's tongues. They show no sympathy at all. Every time the Uchiha name is mentioned, people sneer and whisper and scowl. It makes me want to scream.

But I keep my head down, and walk quickly towards the Hokage's office, responding to Lord Third's summon. 

I reach his office and enter, bowing alongside the other ANBU. The Hokage talks, assigning a new mission, but my mind is elsewhere--stuck replaying the scene from last night over and over in my head until my brain hurts. 

I've never witnessed a suicide before. There were lots of suicides back in the Dream Village--those who couldn't handle their assignment to the role of Shinobi. I remember hearing about one young girl, just after the war, who jumped off the roof of a building after Hiashi-Sama whipped her for talking back about her mission assignment. 

Thoughts crawl like spiders in my head, making it difficult to breathe. The only thing keeping me grounded is the feeling of the hard, cool floor under my knee and palms.

"Mitsuki, stand up. It's time to go, we've got a mission." 

It's Kakashi talking. I hadn't even realized he was here. I nod, standing and following him and a few others out of the Hokage's office. 

The whole mission, my mind is somewhere else. Kakashi gets annoyed at one point and hits me on the head, telling me to focus. 

"This is an assassination, you need to be alert! There could be an ambush!" he shouts, frustrated. His sharingan glares at me through his cat-mask and I coil back, hitting a tree and falling to the ground. The red eye brings be back to last night, no matter how I look at it. And it reminds me of Obito Uchiha who will soon massacre the Uchiha clan.

 _Knowledge of the future and not being able to do anything about it, the worst of all burdens._ I'd rather die than carry this burden for the rest of my life.

I grip the grass, breaths falling fast and heavy in my lungs. 

_Get a hold of yourself, Misaki!_ I close my eyes tight and try to focus on my breathing, but every passing second brings me back to last night. I notice for the first time that Itachi is not here on the mission with us. 

_Where is he? Has he run away, leaving his problems behind like the coward that he is?_

"Mitsuki! Get up, damn it!" Kakashi yells. "Shit." I hear clanging metal but can't bring myself to look up. Kakashi yells orders to the other ANBU but they all sound like a blur. 

And then there's silence. The only outside noise is my own unsteady breathing. But inside, I am screaming. 

The voice I loathed to hear for many years of my life returns, speaking like snakes tightening around my every thought. _You are powerless. You are worthless. You trained for six years and you're still useless, a burden, a failure._

"She wasn't ready for it, captain. She should have been started on easier missions, not assassinations," someone says. I open my eyes and see everyone standing over me, their white and red masks looking down on me. 

The purple-haired kunoichi kneels by me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Her voice is firm but sympathetic. She speaks to Kakashi with confidence.

"I will take her back to the village and report this to Lord Third. You all continue with the mission."

Everyone nods, and they scatter. Kakashi lingers for a moment before scattering like the rest.

Yugao puts my arm over her shoulder, helping me stand. "Let's go home," she says.

She helps me onto my bed in my small apartment. I've calmed down now but still feel terrible having failed my first mission as an ANBU and slowed down my team. Yugao takes a seat on one of my kitchen chairs, turning it to face me. She sighs and rests her arm on the table.

"Nobody blames you, Mitsuki. It was a bit harsh of Kakashi to allow you to come along on the assassination as your _first_ mission. They're never easy." Yugao rubs her eyes after pulling her glove off and throwing it on the table. "It's all part of the job, as an ANBU."

I keep my hands on the side of the bed, face looking down at my feet planted flat on the floor. 

"Why wasn't Itachi on the mission?" I ask. I look up at Yugao and she shifts, tilting her head.

"Didn't you hear?" she says, voice low. "Suisui Uchiha committed suicide last night. Suishi was his best friend."

"I heard. It's impossible not to. It's all people seem to be talking about," I reply, words muttered and strained.

"Yeah, that and the Uchiha clan." Yugao adds, whispering. "Last I heard--and this is private information, I only heard it because I was on guard outside the Hokage's office--they're putting more restraints on the Uchiha clan and the Uchiha leaders are not happy about it."

I lie down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. I allow myself to sigh out loud, putting my hands under my head. "It's not a good situation, no matter how you look at it."

Yugao shakes her head at the side of the room, running fingers through her purple hair. 

"Everything is changing," Yugao says, getting up from her chair and pacing the room. "Honestly, I think we're headed into another war. First, it'll be civil war in the Leaf. Then other countries will get involved," she sighs, and I sit up on my elbows frowning. "It's the only way this could turn out."

"Is it?" I ask. Yugao stops pacing and looks at me like I have two heads.

"Of course, what other way is there? I think you need some rest, Mitsuki. You're not thinking straight." 

I fall back into my bed, head hitting the pillow with a soft thump. Sighing again, I go along with Yugao and say, "Yeah, you're right," even though I don't believe it. 

I know there will be a massacre. I know that Obito Uchiha, projecting himself as Madara Uchiha, will come and take the whole Uchiha clan out. _And what can I do to stop it? Nothing. If I tell someone about him, I could cause more chaos than there already is._

Children will watch their parents die, screaming and innocent but being met with death regardless. Blood will be shed beyond control, and just like that, an entire clan will disappear from existence. 

Just like my clan--like the Kumara clan, all dead after the Third Shinobi War.

 _And there's nothing I can do about it._ Even Itachi has given up, accepting the massacre as the only way to prevent total war from breaking out. I see his stance, but still, I cannot bring myself to accept it.

I have no hope of defeating Obito before he gets here and executes his plan. 

"Well, I'll be going. I have to report the mission status to the Hokage. Ja-ne," Yugao says before closing the apartment door behind her. 

I spend the rest of the afternoon and evening staring at the ceiling, mind completely blank. 

And a lot of days after that, too. Every now and then, Yugao stops by to see how I'm doing but frowns when I don't answer her.

"I think she's depressed, Hokage-Sama," she says one day. I notice another figure following her in today, his graying hair showing more than ever. "I don't know what to do anymore. She won't talk to me."

The Hokage pulls a chair from the kitchen and plants himself on it beside my bed. "Thank you, Yugao. You can leave now." 

When I hear the door click closed again, I sigh. My eyes are still trained on the ceiling but I listen to the Hokage's words.

"If this is about the Uchiha clan, I want you to know I have things under control."

"Do you?" My words sound harsh and raspy, having not spoken for days. My eyes don't leave the ceiling. "Because last time I heard, war is in the brink."

The Third Hokage sighs and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms. "I'd like you to get out of bed and return to your ANBU duties. Team Ro is short two members now."

"Two?" I ask, actually moving my gaze to meet the Hokage's. He nods, grunting.

"I've assigned Itachi Uchiha as captain of another team."

I nod, pushing myself to a sitting position. "I see."

"So I'd like you to return to Team Ro immediately," he says, voice low and steady. 

"I don't want to. I'm tired of it--I'm tired of being useless and a failure and I'm tired of watching people die." I talk back to the Hokage but fear doesn't find its way into my voice. The old man doesn't scare me.

"That's an order, Mitsuki," he grumbles.

"My name is Misaki Kumara, damn it!"

The old man tilts his head and searches my eyes. "What's gotten into you all of the sudden? What is on your mind?"

I cross my arms and put my head down, angry at the world. Still, the Hokage has a way of making me open up.

"There's something I know that I cannot tell you because it could change the outcome of things, possibly for the worse. I don't agree with it but I do see it as the only way to prevent worse things from happening."

Hokage-Sama nods, eyes soft. 

"You need to trust your gut, Misaki," my real name sounds fresh and sweet to my ears. It's been a while since I've heard someone call me that. I miss it sometimes. "All you can ever do is what you know to be right, regardless what others might think."

"You're right... as always." I mutter, letting out a sigh. "But it's just so hard." Tears well up in my eyes. "Living with a burden like this one... it's heavy. It weighs on me. I don't think it will ever go away."

"I get it," the Third says, putting a hand on my shoulder. "But I know you are strong, and you can get through it. I know it's hard to see right now, but things will work out. Everything will get better, I promise. You know, you're not the only one carrying a burden of knowledge."

This catches my attention and I turn to look the Hokage in the eyes. He continues.

"Six years ago, the Fourth Hokage and his wife had a son. His name is Naruto. He's an orphan, just six years old. The whole village knows about the monster inside of him, the nine-tailed fox that Minato sealed inside his son before he died. But Naruto does not know. And he does not know that the Fourth Hokage was his father. I gave him his mother's last name, Uzumaki, to protect him from that knowledge. 

"Naruto is still too young to know about his father. I hold that knowledge, carry that burden, so that young Naruto doesn't have to. It's better that way, for him. Some day, when I am gone and Naruto is older, he will find out about his father and mother. The truth will come out at the right time, at which point it will be his burden instead of mine. But until that day, I carry it for him. I owe that much to Minato and Kushina; I swore I would take care of Naruto and I stand by my promises."

* * *

I repeat the wise words that the Hokage spoke to me that night over and over in my head as I sprint towards the Uchiha district. My legs feel weak and I fear I might collapse at any moment but something inside keeps me going when my legs go numb and I forget I'm even running.

When I get there, it's already too late. I almost collapse when I look out at the street, covered in bodies. Men, women, and children of all ages, scattered under the moonlight. Not a living, breathing soul remaining. 

When I look at the bodies on the ground, I see Shisui's too, floating in the river, lifeless.

The words play in my head, keeping me strong as I walk. _"Things will work out, everything will get better... You are strong, you will get through it."_

It's words like these that keep me from walking off that cliff myself, my soul to join the many others that died tonight. 

Could I have done something to help these people? Maybe if I'd spoken up, this wouldn't have had to happen. I see all the faces of those I could have helped who now lay lifeless on the cold, hard ground.

"Mitsuki, is that you?" The purple haired ANBU calls out from the street up ahead. She's kneeling, surrounded by bodies. She kneels beside a child. I can't see her face because of her porcelain ANBU mask but I know she must be mortified. There's no other way to be when presented with a situation like this.

I run quickly to Yugao, "It was him, wasn't it. Madara Uchiha." I'm suddenly aware of the lack of breath in my lungs. I've just run, full force, from the opposite end of the village. 

Yugao looks up at me from the ground, confused for a moment. "No, it was Itachi. He's the only one." Yugao's words are strained and full of anger. I look down at her, "Heartless freak, murdering his own clan to rise to power. Several people tried to pursue him but he got away. _Damn traitor._ "

My jaw drops and I stare forward. For a flitting moment, I see him, perched on top of a post in the distance, eyes redder than the blood that stains the streets. Eyes that are unmistakably his. Itachi Uchiha, the boy solely responsible for the massacre of his entire clan. 

And I'm angry. Angry at myself, yes, but angry at Itachi too for not doing something to stop it. I tried to tell him, but he ignored me like a coward. All this time, he was only thinking about saving his own ass. 

When I look back to the post where Itachi perched, he's gone. Vanished. No trace left of him.

"Mitsuki," Yugao snaps, drawing my attention back to her. "There's a survivor, this child is alive!"


	17. Fog and Clarity

I stand in the Hokage's office, waiting for my mission assignment. Since the Uchiha massacre, I've resorted to begging for missions. They keep me occupied and anything to take my mind off it is worth doing. 

"I will not be sending you on another mission this time," he says, closing some file folders on his desk and looking at me calmly.

"What?" I burst, heading towards his desk--but I think better of it and stop myself after one step. The other ANBU who are guarding today flinch but stand put after I decide to stop. I bow in respect, but there's nothing respectful about my tone, "Hokage-Sama, have I not proven myself as an ANBU Black Op? I've completed over twenty-five missions since my depression, and I haven't failed a single one."

Lord Third grunts and puts his hand on his desk, pushing himself to a stand. His chair squeaks against the floor as it moves from under him. "Mitsuki, I am very pleased with your success. You have proven yourself a very valuable and capable ANBU."

"What's the issue then?"

"I think spending some time in the village will be good for you." I want to point my finger down my throat and fake-gag but that's definitely not appropriate right now, especially if I want to prove myself as an ANBU.

Instead, I huff, arms falling limp at my sides.

"And while you have been successful, it has been brought it to my attention that you're blatantly disobeying orders and killing opponents needlessly. Hostages are important sources of information, Mitsuki." 

"Who-"

The door opens behind me and he walks into the room before I can finish, answering my question before I even ask it. 

_Oh,_ I think. _Him. He told the Hokage on me._

"You summoned, Hokage-Sama?" The sound of his voice makes me want to punch something. I form a fist, my fingernails digging into my palm. The silver-haired ANBU kneels beside me on the ground. He looks over to me for one moment and when our eyes meet, I send him a snarling glare. 

I whisper so only Kakashi hears, "Tattle-tale." He turns his nose up and looks away. 

He whispers back, "You haven't been the most pleasant teammate lately."

"Kakashi. I am putting a temporary in charge of Team Ro for a couple of weeks. I'd like you to be on Mitsuki's watch. Ensure she doesn't try to leave the village or anything like that. She'll be taking a break from the ANBU for a bit."

"I don't need a babysitter," I mutter under my breath.

"I will call for you if I require you, captain. Until then, you will watch Mitsuki." The Hokage continues, ignoring me.

I go to protest but Kakashi cuts me off, pushing off his knee to his feet. "Sir, is that wise? With everything going on in the village right now... we're getting missions from all over and we've just lost a large chunk of our population... it's only been two months since-"

"That is an order, Kakashi."

"Okay, but..." he hesitates, not sure if he should say any more. "Why can't you assign another ANBU to her? I have Team Ro. Are there no other qualified ninja available to watch her?"

The Hokage walks around his desk and approaches us. I stand, towering over the short old man and almost reaching Kakashi's height. _Oh how I'd like to punch that old geezer right now._

"Yes, but I would like her to do some training while she's off-duty. With her visual prowess, I would have preferred if an Uchiha could have trained with her..." The Hokage pauses, voice going quiet. We all know what he's thinking about. I know it especially well, I think about it all the time. "But you with your sharingan will have to do."

"Yes, sir." Kakashi answers, voice sounding totally defeated. He seems to physically deflate, his single black eye drooping lazily and shoulders slumping.

"Your mission begins now. Dismissed, both of you. Two weeks."

* * *

He walks by my side, unfortunately, as I head home to change. There's no point in wearing all this heavy armor and ANBU uniform if I am not on duty. Kakashi waits outside my apartment door, eyes closed and arms crossed in distaste as I go in and change. 

I opt for something light and airy that will let the breeze through. It's a hot day in Konoha and I don't plan on overheating any time soon. I end up with knee-length black cargo shorts over net-style leggings and a navy colored v-neck. I pull my brown hair into an elastic at the back of my head and look myself in the mirror.

I become aware of the bags and lines under my eyes, evidence of a non-stop couple of months completing difficult ANBU missions. Maybe two weeks off won't be so bad, _if only I didn't have to spend it with Kakashi. He says I'm unpleasant but he's not exactly a breath of fresh air himself._

Strong, yes. Good team captain, yes. But easy to have conversations with? No. 

And maybe that's partly my fault--the distance I try to put between us because... well, you know. It may have been almost seven years ago, and I may be living with a different identity now, but fear still pangs in me every time he approaches... every time I look into that sharingan eye, I'm brought back to the night he tried to kill me.

_I wonder, if he ever finds out who I really am, if he will try to kill me again?_

There's that pang of fear laced with guilt and shame again. I brush down some fly-away hairs and sigh, leaving the bathroom and going to meet with Kakashi outside again. He hasn't moved from his position on the wall and I close the apartment door.

"So, uh, we gonna go train?" I break the tense silence, as I lock the door and put the key into my pouch.

"No," he says, pushing off from the wall and opening his eyes again. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion and he sighs.

"I'm hungry. I think we'll get some lunch first," Kakashi mutters, walking towards the staircase down. 

I walk a few feet behind him and feel my stomach grumble at the mention of food. Come to think of it, I never had breakfast this morning. I guess lunch is okay. "Fine," I say, keeping my annoyed facade, "but you're treating."

He grunts and we walk in silence the rest of the way to town. When we get to one of the busy streets with lots of food places, my mouth waters. I never get sick of the smell of delicious food cooking.

"Where do you want to eat?" he asks, looking around at the many restaurants with a bored expression. I get the feeling food is not really his thing.

I pinch my chin, eyes wide as I consider my options. If I'm gonna be stuck with him for two weeks, I may as well make good use of him-- _and his money,_ I think, grinning.

I walk on ahead of him, mouth still watering from the many smells. Something catches my eyes (and nose) and I stop in front of a barbecue restaurant--the kind that has a grill on each table. "Here," I say, not bothering for Kakashi's input. I walk into the restaurant and he follows behind me, bored expression still plastered on his face. _Some people have resting bitch face... well, Kakashi has resting bored face._

We seat ourselves and a cute waitress lady comes by quickly, taking our drink orders. Kakashi orders water and I get tea.

We sit, staring at our menus and not talking. If only we could keep the menus the whole time so we don't have to talk at all.

But dreams are just dreams and the waitress returns to take our orders. I order a salad with olives on the side and Kakashi orders a sandwich.

"You choose to come to a barbecue restaurant and order food that doesn't need to be barbecued?" Kakashi says, judgement clear in his voice. I frown and return the mockery.

"You go to a restaurant and order a sandwich? More like a _sadwich._ " I revel in my play on words but Kakashi doesn't react. He just grunts and puts his arms in front of him on the table.

We sit silently for a few moments and I begin to enjoy myself until he ruins it, "So tell me about your battle-style."

I sigh, "You already know that, you've seen me on missions."

"Yes," he says, "ANBU missions with strict formations and plans. But I want to know what you're like freestyle--your strengths and preferred techniques."

I sigh again, resting my head on my hand with my elbow on the table.

"If we're gonna train together, I need to know these things," he persists, leaning back in the booth with his hands behind his head.

"Fine," I give in, "I'm a water-style user and I'm half-decent with throwing knives, but I specialize in genjutsu."

"What kind of genjutsu?" he leans forward again, staring curiously into my red eyes. I feel the familiar jolt of fear but remind myself that if he hasn't recognized me yet, he isn't going to. Still, I answer vaguely so as not to give him any hints.

"Memory manipulation."

He lowers his eyebrows for a moment, taking in my answer.

"That's not--I mean, I've never heard of that before. Where on earth did you learn that?" he sounds suspicious and I bite my lip, trying to form a good reply.

To lighten the mood, I laugh with a closed eye smile. "In a book," I lie easily. Lying comes easier than telling the truth these days. I do so much of it. "The Akatsuki had a lot of forbidden jutsu books and such lying around and I stole one and learned it."

Kakashi leans back in his chair, taking in my lie without question. I let out a heavy breath through my nose and feel myself relax again.

Our food comes and he changes the topic, to my relief. I eat but he sits in front of his sad sandwich, not touching it. I guess eating it would require him to pull his mask down which, to my knowledge, he's never done in front of anyone. Why even bother going out to a restaurant then? This guy will never make any sense to me.

"So the Akatsuki raised you," he says, quieter so that nobody around us hears. 

"Sorta," I say, and there's some truth to that. I did live with them for six years, though I spent most of my time hiding in my bedroom or training with Obito. 

"Did you train with any of them?" He sounds genuinely curious, and his eye has lost it's usual lazy tone. I shake my head, suddenly eager to return to the genjutsu subject. Anything is better than this.

"N-not exactly the Akatsuki..." I hesitate, tripping over my words. I have to be careful what I say, or I risk talking about Obito and that's a topic I can't afford to discuss here with Kakashi. "One of their accomplices."

Kakashi _hmphs,_ rubbing his head, thinking about this new information. "Interesting, so the Akastuki is more than just the members of their organization--they have outside connections."

"You know, I don't really know much about them... they kept me away from sensitive information, obviously..." I slump, frowning as I stab my salad with a fork. "I don't really want to discuss it any more."

Kakashi nods, understanding of my request, and grabs one of my olives. I shoot him a dirty look and he smirks, pulling his mask out from his nose and dropping the olive through the gap and into his mouth, all while keeping his face covered from me by the black fabric. _Sly._

"My turn," I say, changing the conversation to try and make _him_ uncomfortable. Maybe if I do, he'll give up and stop trying to talk altogether. "Why do you wear a mask all the time?" _And, I am genuinely curious. I may not be his number one fan, but it doesn't mean I don't wonder._

He shrugs, familiar bored expression returning to his eyes. "I've worn once since I was a child. At first, it was for fun--I was young and I felt like a cool ninja wearing a mask, being mysterious and all that." Even though I don't like Kakashi very much, I allow myself to chuckle when he tells me that. "And then, after my dad died, I didn't want people to recognize me." Kakashi's voice turns low and the smirk fades from my face. "We looked a lot similar, him and I. Even with the mask, some people think I'm the White Fang of the Leaf." He sighs, and I think maybe he frowns a little under his mask.

I'm surprised by how much he's opened up to me just now. I never saw Kakashi as the soft type, let alone the type to open up about his past. Suddenly, I feel sort of guilty for the way I've treated him.

Yes, he tried to kill me... but I've started a new life. I am no longer Misaki Kumara of the Hidden Dream Village. I am Mitsuki Yuhi of the Leaf, and that's all Kakashi knows of me. It's not fair of Mitsuki to treat him so terribly for something he never did to her.

The pain is still there, hidden deep down. It reminds me of its presence every time I look at his sharingan eye and am brought back to that moment in time, his chidori in hand and pure anger filling his features. The pain that sometimes ripples through my left forearm; like an amputee would experience phantom limb, I experience phantom pain. 

But that was pain experienced by Misaki Kumara, and that girl is long gone. She's weak and emotional and a coward--she couldn't conjure up the guts to approach Obito Uchiha and at least _try_ to stop the massacre of the Uchiha clan and she blames herself for it. She blames herself for Itachi's decision to give up and go rogue like Obito and she blames herself for the fact that the tiny seven year old boy, Sasuke Uchiha, will now grow up without parents or family. He'll always live with the memory of that night haunting his sleep and every waking moment in between.

Misaki Kumara died that night too, in a way. She died along with all the others, putting her troubled soul to rest and clearing her of her past. It haunts her deep down now, as Mitsuki, but not in the same way it used to. Now, it feels more like a distant, foggy memory--as foggy as the river that swallowed Shisui. Foggier than the cold air the night of the massacre.

Kakashi wraps his sandwich up, probably intending to eat it later when nobody's watching, and pays for our meals before we head towards the training grounds.


	18. Electricity and Panic

We warm up with target practice. The sun beats down through the treetops and makes beads of sweat roll down my face. I don't know how Kakashi can bare it in that heavy ANBU uniform.

I walk up behind him and throw a kunai, flicking his off course mid-air. He sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets.

"So you specialize in genjutsu," he says, spinning a kunai around his finger before putting it in its holster pouch at his thigh. I nod and he continues, "So we'll work on something else. How are you for chakra control?"

I shrug, fumbling with a shuriken in my hand. "I'm more focused on weaponry and genjutsu," I declare, marching into the clearing and tossing my shuriken towards a target. It hits dead center and I smirk. 

"But you're a water style user," he throws one of his own shuriken and it knocks mine out of the target. I shoot him a frown.

I sigh and think about what to say. It's true, I can use water style but I've never practiced solely with water. My jutsus almost always incorporate lightning too but I can't exactly tell Kakashi that. It might spark his memory--it's not too often one comes across a storm style user. 

"Yeah, I use water style but I'm not very good at it," I mutter, willing the conversation to change. It doesn't. Instead, Kakashi narrows in on it. 

"Alright then. Let's start with forming chakra in your hand and infusing it with water. We can play around with it from there."

I form a perfect ball of chakra in my right hand, and it swirls and glows a bright blue. Next, I try to add the water but it makes the chakra fall apart.

Kakashi narrows his eyebrows and looks from me to my empty hand dripping with water from my failed jutsu. "I'm gonna be honest because I know you already don't like me. I don't know why Lord Third assigned you to the ANBU if you can't even execute your chakra nature."

_Because he knows I can form a lightning infused ball of water, baka. I just can't reveal that._

I'm getting angry now by the fact that Kakashi is partially right. What kind of ANBU am I if I can't even perform a lone chakra nature? If the point of shinobi life is to continuously get stronger, I'm definitely falling short. _As Mitsuki, at least. The girl who can only use water-style._

I haven't felt the thrilling buzz of my lightning in almost a year. My fingers used to crave the release of electricity, but now they've seemed to forgotten what it feels like. 

"Let's work on it. I'm not that adept in water release myself, though I can execute some jutus that I've copied with my sharingan." Kakashi forms some quick hand signs and pulls water from the river, forming a wall. "Once your water-chakra ball can break through this wall, we can move on to the next step."

I nod, focusing in on my chakra. I form the ball of chakra again and try to remember what it feels like to infuse storm style without the lightning. Separating the two is like trying to pour the oil but not the water. They both move in tandem and want to pour at the same time.

I close my eyes, focusing harder. The familiar buzz of electricity returns to my fingers and fills me with excitement but I need to suppress it. _Focus on the water,_ I think. _Forget about the electricity, only draw from the water._

The buzz is there, trying to seduce me. It makes the ends of my fingers tingle, reminding me of its electric power. I want more than anything to let it go--let it infuse in the ball of chakra with the water, creating a perfect ball of enhanced electricity. I must hold it back.

When I open my eyes, there's water swirling around in my palm, perfect encased in chakra. I smile and prepare to slam it into the wall of water Kakashi has made but I stop myself when I notice a tiny trickle of lightning pushing against the ball in my hand. 

A shriek escapes my lips and I quickly distinguish the jutsu, grabbing my hand and cursing under my breath. _Damn it!_

Kakashi lets the wall of water fall back into the river with a splash and walks towards me. I keep my head down, cursing and squeezing my wrist. 

"Why did you let it go?" He asks, confusion filling his features. "It was looking strong. You almost had it."

 _Thank god, he didn't notice the lightning._ I shake my head out and let my wrist go, stretching the muscles in my fingers like squeezing an invisible ball. 

"I don't want to keep practicing like this," I remark, returning to a target and angrily throwing a kunai at it.

"You're not seriously gonna give up," he mocks, following me into the clearing. He stands a couple feet from me with his arms crossed. I ignore him and throw another kunai, arm whipping through the air with great speed and the kunai lodges into the wood, splitting the target in half. It cracks right down the middle and falls to the ground. "It took me years to perfect my jutsu," he says, holding his hand out in front of him and forming lightning. It grows stronger, crackling and screaming with electric bolts. The sound of his chidori pierces my ears, like a thousand birds--a suitable name for it.

I hold my ears and recoil, stepping away from him. Flashing images scream in my head, reminding me of my past life. The one I try to desperately to forget and move on from.

His words of anger and hatred replay in my mind like echoes all around. I force my eyes shut, trying to control it but the scene has taken over in my head.

_"I can't believe you," he stated._

_"Kakashi- please! Try to understand..." His sharingan activates behind his mask, glaring into me like a dagger._

_"You've taken away everything I had left!" His voice was full of fury and I dropped my head in shame._

_"I had no choice..."_

"It's because of you that Kushina and Minato-Sensei died!" _he exploded, running towards me as lightning-like chakra formed in his hand._

Those words echo over again in my head, haunting me from all directions. I can't get rid of it. The memory is still vivid and terrifying. As Kakashi holds the chidori in his hand in this empty training ground, fear washes over me in a panic and state of stress. 

_He had me pinned up against a tree with one hand, the other hand let out an ear piercing sound, resembling a thousand birds. The light from the Chidori was almost blinding._

_"...it turns out you're nothing but scum... You took everything away from me, and now what do you plan to do?! Run back to that little village of yours and suck up to your leader?? Beg him to let you have the life you've always wanted? That's not how it works. You're nothing but a selfish Shinobi who can't appreciate what they already have! Maybe you'd have appreciated life better if you'd known you would die so young..."_

_His Chidori was in hand, eyes looking as if he had caught his prey and was ready to kill. I closed my eyes tightly and relaxed. I deserved to die. My life had no purpose and when I tried to find purpose, everything fell apart and I almost took the life of an innocent child._

_I waited for death to come to me and cried out in pain when my left arm was hit with his chidori.  
_

That feeling, welcoming death without question or concern, is familiar to me. I felt it for weeks before the Uchiha massacre. 

I think I'm on the ground now, hands over my ears and struggling to catch my breath. My ears still scream with noise but when I open my eyes, Kakashi has put out his chidori and is kneeling on the ground in front of me, concern on his features.

"Mitsuki..." he mutters, reaching to touch my shoulder but I scramble back, eyes wide.

"D-Don't touch me! Just-Just leave me alone, I need to be alone right now."

He obeys and steps away, heading back into the clearing. He sits against a tree on the other side of the clearing, watching me with concern from afar. I focus on my breathing, feeling the warm, fresh air fill and exit my lungs in long, deep breaths.

It's been a long time since I've had an attack like that. The last time was many moons ago, and not as severe as that. I've seen him use his chidori on ANBU missions in the past, but I've always handled it fine because I had other things to worry about and I was never faced with it myself. 

I realize my reaction was one similar to the attacks my grandmother used to have after the war. Certain objects would trigger these panic attacks--usually objects that reminded her of her children and husband who all died in the war. I would sit on her beside as a small child, just four years old, and rub circles on her back while she took deep breaths.

I did that until the day they took me away from her, deeming her unstable mentally and physically and unable to take care of me. That's when I went to my adoptive parents, only seeing my grandmother occasionally for the odd visit. Whenever I'd visit her, she seemed distant and foggy-eyed. Her mind was always somewhere else. So, on my odd visits, I would rub circles on her back like I used to when I was four. It seemed to soften her and I saw a change in her eyes when I did so.

Now, I have nobody to console me. This struggle is mine and mine alone and I have to learn to get through it on my own. I'm all I have.

I force myself up and head over to Kakashi. He stares up at me from the tree trunk with concern in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I panicked. Your jutsu reminds me of something that happened to me many years ago," I add the last part to keep up my fake identity and steer off any suspicion he might have, "back when I was an Akatsuki hostage. They used lightning to torture us sometimes when we didn't obey."

He nods but his eyes are trying to read me. His grey brows are furrowed and he looks into my red eyes with his one black eye. He doesn't look completely convinced but shrugs it off anyways.

He gets up, wiping the dirt off his pants, and he lets me focus on some easier training. We work on sword skills, something I practiced with Yugao and her good friend Hayate between missions a few weeks back. Kakashi seems impressed with my sword skills, even breaking a little sweat.

I'm relieved to be back to small talk, simple conversation. Kakashi doesn't try to pry me for my past and I stick to easy topics like weapon types and food I enjoy. Behind all the small talk, though, is that same curious eye he seems unable to suppress. I know he didn't completely buy my lie about the panic attack. Thankfully, he seems to be avoiding the topic. _For now._

Evening comes before we know it and cool air begins to set on Konoha. I feel a chill, wrapping my bare arms tightly around myself as I walk towards the south-end apartments. Kakashi walks too, but keeps his distance and doesn't say anything. I'm glad for this, still feeling weird about my panic attack earlier.

We get to the complex and Kakashi waves goodbye, going into his apartment. I walk towards my door but stop just shy of it and peer over my shoulder. _Good, he's not looking._ I toss my bag and pouches inside, relieved to have the weight off, and I walk past my door quickly. At the other end of the hallway is another staircase and I take it down, heading alone into the night air. It feels good to be alone, left to my thoughts and not having Kakashi's prying eyes on me all the time. 

I'm reminded of the first time I came to Konoha when ANBU would watch me from the shadows day and night--that was before, when Minato was still trying to figure out if I could be trusted. He was truly a kind man, letting an invader just stay in the village like that... and I betrayed his trust. All because of my fear of Lord Hiashi and of the strange figure that appeared to me one night and offered me a terrible, tempting deal; like the devil he is.

Obito truly is a troubled man. I get it, he's been through shit in his life, but the path he's chosen is far from the right one. Whatever end-goal he's working towards is rooted in all the wrong things--anger, revenge, pain, suffering, fear. I don't even know his end-goal, now that I think of it. Probably something to do with the Akatsuki's plan, which I also don't know. It's strange to think I spent six whole years with those people and I still don't know anything about them. 

The streets are quiet at this time of night. Everyone has returned to their homes, getting ready to go to sleep and wake up again tomorrow. Night walks are my favourite--the air is just the right temperature and there's nobody around, so I'm free to think clearly and enjoy myself.

When I pass the dango shop, I think about all the shinobi I met the other day. They all seemed so nice. You know, life here in the Leaf isn't all that bad. I could actually make friends here, if I opened up to them. And, I'm getting used to my new identity as Mitsuki. It doesn't feel so forced anymore.

Up further ahead, the street leads straight to the Hokage tower, placed at the back of the village, near the Hokage's faces, carved into the mountain side. It's truly a remarkable view. When I look at the Yondaime's face, I feel regretful. Maybe Kakashi was right, what he said to me all those years ago. Maybe Minato and Kushina's deaths are on me. Maybe, if I weren't involved, they would still be alive. Maybe...

I feel a hand grab my shoulder and before I can scream, another one covers my mouth. I'm pulled to the side of the street, clean out of sight behind an empty vendor's station. I almost scream again when I realize who is standing in front of me, but his finger presses on my lips, silencing me. My blood runs cold at his touch.

"Don't make a noise or I'll kill you right here. In fact, I should just kill you anyways, knowing what you know. Having done what you did--don't you ever forget that you pledged your _life_ to me when I saved you all those years ago."


	19. Understanding

I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. My eyes are wide and my legs are shaking underneath me, threatening to collapse. He's got a new mask, one that's orange with hypnotizing swirls encircling the single eye hole. I can see his sharingan glaring at me through the dark hole.

"I didn't know what I was pledging myself to, Obito. People do crazy things when they're on the brink of death," I try to argue back but find myself feeling small under his glare. I shrink down and regret not bringing my weapons with me on my night walk.

His hand is on my throat in a split second, squeezing the breath from my lungs as he lifts me, my toes just dangling above the floor. _"Don't you ever_ call me by that name," he snarls, voice angry to match his dark presence.

I choke, pulling my hands to my neck and struggling to find breath. He holds me for a few long, agonizing seconds before dropping me. I gasp, taking the air in greedily.

"Okay, so why are you here? To take me back? To kill me? If you wanted to kill me, you should have just done it already."

He shakes his head in long, drawn-out motions. I narrow my eyes at him in frustration. "I have simply come to remind you," he whispers viciously, words floating through the air like snakes, "of our _pact._ You must not tell anyone about me, not even your little friend Kakashi. I see you getting closer every day to the people in this _wretched_ village."

"Kakashi Hatake is _not_ my friend!" I counter, lunging forward but ultimately stopping myself. He doesn't even flinch. Also, I have no weapons and I probably couldn't kill him if I tried. "How long have you been spying on me?"

"I'm always watching, _Mitsuki,"_ he uses my fake name, as if to taunt me further. "So I will know if you ever say anything about me to anyone."

I step back but run into a shelf of magazines. A couple fall off the shelves and onto the street.

"If you do, I will kill you. You have my word."

A few long seconds pass between us and I wonder for a moment why he doesn't just do it; kill me, get it over with. He has every reason to get rid of me, with the knowledge I have of him, and no reason to simply allow me to stay in the Leaf village. I'm his enemy now, a Konoha shinobi fighting against him, yet he doesn't once draw any weapons or jutsu on me.

His words are sharper than a thousand daggers, though, and I can sense that there's something deep down, holding him back. Something drawing a line between the merciless murderer known as Madara and struggling boy named Obito Uchiha. 

And, despite my brain telling me, _screaming_ at me, to stay silent, the words fly out of my mouth. 

"You question my choice but haven't stopped to examine your own." 

He just looks at me from an arm's length away, arms limp at his side and never flinching. He could kill me. He could reach out right now and strangle me to death. But he stands completely still, unmoving, listening to my words without resistance.

"You know, people care about me here. Even people who don't know my name smile at me in the streets when I pass. It makes me sad to think about the life you're living. I mean, really, truly sad. I feel bad for you. You've gone through shit and crawled out on the wrong side. 

"You once taught me that power is everything. You trained me to be strong and independent, but with that kind of power comes darkness. I've always wondered what it means to be a shinobi. Hell, I still wonder. If shinobi didn't exist, it might be a more peaceful world. If people didn't fight, they wouldn't wind up dead, right? Like your friend, Rin. If she weren't a shinobi, she'd be alive today."

I can feel Obito's anger rising.

I'm thrown out of my thoughts when I feel a hand around my neck. It sends me back in a hard push and I feel the back of my head collide with the wall. It sends strikes of pain through my whole body and I grunt.

When I open my eyes, strangled and struggling to breathe as I'm pinned by the neck with my feet dangling above the ground, I see his sharingan looking into my soul from behind the orange mask.

His words are no more than a whisper, but deadly nonetheless. 

_"You'll never understand me, even with those memory-manipulating eyes of yours, Misaki Kumara."_

Past his shoulder from behind, I see a bright flash of lightning that crackles sharply through the air. The sound is screeching and makes the pain in my head from the hit worse. Just before his chidori collides with my strangler's back, I see Obito's eye change, taking on a mangekyo sharingan. Obito disappears in a rapid swirl of gravity revolving around his eye and Kakashi stops short, heaving for breath and whipping his head around, looking for him. 

"He's gone," I manage to force out, but I think my windpipe is destroyed from his grasp on my neck. 

Kakashi's chidori trickles out and he falls to his knees, eyes wide as he stares at me. My own legs give out, causing me to slide down the wall and hit the ground with a _thump._

We just breathe, starting at each other and catching our breaths on the cold ground. 

He lowers his eyebrows and I search his face. His eyes are firm but there's no anger in them. Still, almost by instinct, I gather chakra in my fingers, feeling the buzz of lightning and water waiting to be released in a moment's notice. His eyes don't change. He opens his sharingan eye slowly, noticing the chakra I have gathering in my hand but doesn't move.

"I know who you are, Misaki." I flinch when he addresses me by my real name. "I know what you did all those years ago," my fingers buzz with electricity. We keep eye contact. "We've both done things we regret, and I think we both have more to our stories than meets the eye."

I let the chakra in my hand disappear completely, the comforting buzz fading to a lingering tingle. Our eyes still watch each other carefully.

"My name is Mitsuki," I say, but I know he sees through my lie. I don't even know why I try to keep up my facade anymore. "I don't know anyone named Misaki."

"You resemble her an awful lot," Kakashi says, continuing in a collected manner. He plays along with my lie, even though I think he knows I've given into it. "Six years ago, I befriended her. I trusted her and she betrayed me. My sensei and his wife died that night. The village was almost destroyed," he says, looking around at the dark sky. Again, I search his eyes for signs of anger but there is none. He seems different than before. 

"But since that night, I have changed a lot. I used to be so caught up in anger. I was living in complete darkness. I know what I did and it haunted me every day. The Fourth Hokage thought assigning me to the ANBU would take my mind off it but it only made things worse.

"I lived every day in anger towards everybody and everything. Especially my father. He sacrificed a mission to save his comrades and the village ridiculed him. He committed suicide shortly after."

"Kakashi..." I whisper. I feel guilty for ever judging him. It's true, he's done terrible things, but so have I and people forgave me--The Third, and even Kakashi, with all he's gone through.

Kakashi speaks quietly, voice laced with emotion. He tells me the truth, and uses no deception. And despite the fact that telling me must be difficult for him, he continues anyways. "After my father died, I decided I would put the mission above all else. I turned cold, desensitized. I turned away from my friends. I wouldn't listen to anyone.

"When the white-haired girl entered the village, I thought her to be a spy. But my sensei and the Fourth Hokage trusted her so I did too. Minato Sensei was all I had left. He was the only one who saw past my struggle.

"She betrayed us and my sensei died, and I was so filled with hatred that I tried to kill her." He stops suddenly, eyes on me. I pull the long glove off my arm, throwing it to the ground--that's the only part of my ANBU uniform I continue to wear because of the way it perfectly hides the scar. He watches carefully as I pull the glove down, starting just above my elbow. 

He jolts when he sees the scar on my left forearm. He remembers, I can see it in his eyes. He gets to his feet and takes a step back, eyes trailing the lightning scar.

"I did that," he says, holding his own hand like it's foreign to him.

I nod and open my palm, tears well up in my eyes. "And I did this."

The scar from my own kunai stretches from my thumb to my pinky. The memory replays in my head when I look at it, and it never gets easier.  
  


"This scar on my hand is a reminder to me of that night. The night I betrayed the village that was only ever kind to me. The night I betrayed my first real friend. And, even though I failed my mission, I still can't forgive myself. I messed up real bad."

Kakashi steps towards me, putting a hand on my shoulder. His eyes are sensitive and reassuring. 

"And now, even after the Third Hokage gave me yet another chance--a chance to start over, a new life and new identity--I can't... I can't," the tears are falling freely now as I stare at the scar on my palm. The baby's face appears in my mind.

"You don't have to." Kakashi says, taking his hand away. My shoulder feels cold without his hand. "You don't need to suffer alone. Everyone does things they regret. You have to forgive yourself, Misaki. Focus on what really matters."

I'm suddenly angry again. It takes Kakashi by surprise because he steps back from me.

"What really matters?" my voice is sharp. I don't care about drawing attention. "You know, I'm starting to think nothing really matters! This life, this whole shinobi thing, it's all pointless! We train, we fight, we lose friends, family, along the way. And some day, we die and the world will still be in ruins. There will always be another battle to be fought, another war bringing destruction upon this horrible world!"

Kakashi doesn't respond. The air beats cold on my hot cheeks which are flushed with anger. The tears are drying on my skin. I get to my feet and my hand has formed a fist at my side. Kakashi stares at me from a few feet away.

His voice echoes in the night air. "I used to think that, until I realized-" he pauses, forming lightning in his palm. I'm not scared of it anymore. I just stare, looking on without a care in the world. He could kill me if he wanted and I wouldn't care. "I realized that shinobi life is so much more than killing and being killed. It's about protecting those closest to you."

I close my eyes to see images of the mother and father I never knew. Their faces are empty, I cannot picture them. I never got to meet them. I was only a baby when they died. My grandmother was too old to take care of me herself so she gave me up for adoption. I visited her on her deathbed one day, asking her about the anonymous note. _  
_

_"Did you write this?" I ask, sitting on the edge of her bed. She strains to read the small letters printed in black ink on the parchment._

_"No, my little storm girl," her voice croaks. Her shriveled hand finds mine and holds it tightly._

_"But I know whoever did loves you very much--like I do."  
_

_"Mom and dad," I whisper, gripping my grandmother's hand. "What were they like?"_ _  
_

_She smiles sweetly and cups the top of my hand with her other one. "They were fine shinobi, my dear. And I know you will be one some day too."_

My words come out in uneven chunks, voice cracking with every syllable. Kakashi frowns beneath his black mask. "All my life, I've wondered what it means to be a shinobi. Now, you tell me it's to protect those you're close with." The moon has appeared through the opening between buildings on the street, casting a blue-tinge over everything. "But I can't protect anyone close to me. Every time I try, they end up dead."

"My best friend Obito died saving me from a cave-in," Kakashi says, though I already know that. He doesn't know the figure he just tried to kill _was_ Obito but I keep silent and let him continue. "He made me swear to protect Rin and gave me his sharingan." Kakashi's red eye shines in the moonlight. "But I couldn't protect her. She jumped in front of my chidori, refusing to let the enemy use her body as a jinchuriki. I couldn't save Obito and I couldn't protect Rin. I couldn't save my father or my sensei."

The tears soak my cheeks and I try to hold them back but they fall freely, like a waterfall. 

All these years, I've wondered what my purpose could be. But I realize now, in this vulnerable moment, what I've spent too long in the dark to find that purpose. All my life, I've been running away from something.

First, I ran away from my duties as a shinobi. I struggled with fear of being killed and failed to realize it was holding me back. Then, I ran away from Hiashi-Sama as he was trying to steal my eyes. After that, I ran away from Obito because I feared being deemed useless. Then, for months on end, I ran away from my feelings as I tried to put a stop to a massacre I had no control over.

And now, here with Kakashi, I realize that I have been running away from the one thing I crave more than anything else; more than power, success, purpose...

 _Friendship._ Suddenly, I understand what the Third Hokage meant when he said _'he needs you as much as you need him'._ I've been so selfishly caught up in my own problems that I failed to recognize Kakashi's. I was brainwashed by Obito into thinking Kakashi was this dark, horrible shinobi who killed his friends but never stopped to ask him how _he_ felt about the incident.

I feel pain again in my left palm and open it to look at the old scar. It's fading more as the years pass, but still prominent across my otherwise smooth skin. It still haunts me, the memory of that night. I almost killed an innocent child, and for what? _For fear and selfish desires._

Kakashi killed his comrade Rin. He pierced her heart with his own chidori. The same one that causes me to panic probably haunts him more than I could ever imagine.

How could I have failed to see this until now?


	20. Going Forward

The days out of ANBU go fast. Kakashi and I train almost every day. On off days, which are few, I spend my time lying in the grass and looking at the clouds. 

They float by without a care and I think about my life. All my life, I've been so caught up with fear and constantly running from it that I've missed the whole point of living. 

From this point forward, I have decided to focus on those around me. I can train and become the strongest shinobi in the world and something in my life will still be missing--friendship. I've realized that my purpose going forward should be to protect my friends above all else. 

If love and friendship disappeared, the world would be void and meaningless. It's the glue that holds everything together. 

I feel a new feeling in my chest when I talk to people. Kurenai, for example. She still thinks I'm her cousin, which I guess is okay. I've always wanted a cousin. We laugh and talk about dumb things and every time I look at her, I feel a certain happiness inside. One I've never really experienced in my life before.

Gai. He's annoying as hell but it just isn't the same when he's not around. His energy and, as he would say, 'YOUTHHHH', is strangely contagious. I find myself pumping my fist in the air with him and that same warm feeling in my chest lights up when everyone rolls their eyes at us. 

Asuma. It's easy to have long chats with him. He smokes, which makes me gag sometimes, but the smell of cigarettes has started to become familiar and comforting because it reminds me of him and his old man. His old man is the whole reason I am where I am today, and for that I am eternally grateful.

I even become friends with the boy named Hayate, who I met through Yugao. Yugao claims they're just friends but I don't believe her. You don't kiss your friends under the night sky. Yeah, I caught them once on one of my night walks. Yugao didn't speak to me for almost a week because she was so embarrassed. Now, it's just an inside joke between her and I. There goes the warm feeling in my chest again.

Tenzo is a good guy. We tend to hang out when we're on missions together in the ANBU. At nights, I put my sleeping bag beside his and often opt to sit beside him when we're having meals or taking a break. His kindness makes my chest flutter.

Then there's Kakashi. We have a long history, Kakashi and I. He taught me how to move on, despite my past. He showed me what it means to go through shit and come out on the other side. He's someone I look up to, someone truly and remarkably strong; not only physically, but emotionally and mentally. If he can get through it, so can I. Our stories line up more than I had realized. 

On the painful days, he's there to comfort me. He reminds me to get up and keep going forward, even when it hurts. He reminds me what is truly important: to focus on your friends. Keep them close at all times, he says. Never let them get hurt. Dedicate your life to them, as if they are your family.

Because they are your family. Friends are extensions of yourself and affect almost every aspect of your life. So when you find a good one, hold on to them and don't let them go. They are the glue holding the pieces of your life together.

* * *

"I am dismissing you from the ANBU, Mitsuki."

The words strike me. Hiruzen stands above me and I place my porcelain mask into his hand while maintaining a bow.

"You have been a valuable ANBU of the Hidden Leaf Village and I would like you to pass your knowledge on to the next generation."

I look up slowly, meeting his eyes. When I raise my eyebrows in question, he nods.

"You have come a long way since we first met, Mitsuki. You have proven yourself beyond a doubt and shown that you possess the Will of Fire. So, I'm reassigning you as a Jonin sensei of the Hidden Leaf Village."

I don't have words. _Me, a sensei?_ It barely seems real. Am I good enough to take on a role as important as passing knowledge to the next generation of shinobi? I know I am strong. I am confident in my ability to execute missions successfully. But can I pass on what it means to be a shinobi to children?

What if I mess it up and send them on the wrong path? I haven't exactly been on the right path my entire life.

The Third Hokage continues after asking me to rise. I stand to my feet and listen to his words intently.

"You have served nearly 10 years in the ANBU. I've watched you grow and become a part of this family of shinobi. I know you will bring those genin up with great confidence and wisdom."

"Thank you, sir," I mutter, still not sure how to feel about this. I'm happy, of course, for new opportunities. But my life has been so stable the past ten years. _Predictable_ , that's the word. I don't know what to expect in the coming years.

Someone appears at my side in a puff of smoke. It startles me greatly and I jump a few feet away, letting out a yelp. When the smoke fades, I'm shocked to see a silver-haired, masked ninja wearing a green jonin vest and Hidden Leaf forehead protector.

"Kakashi?" I exclaim.

"Yo," he says, giving me a two finger wave. "Guess we're both getting a career change."

I barely recognize him in the green vest. If not for his voluminous hair, he'd look like a completely different person. The green vest makes him look older, too. I guess we're both getting pretty old. We're nearly 32, after all. It's strange to think we've known each other for half our lives.

I met that silver-haired boy when he was 16. It's crazy how fast time goes.

"Yeah," I say, "Finally hopping on the bandwagon and joining Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai as senseis."

I give a closed eye smile and look back to Lord Third. I see the pride in his old, wrinkling eyes. There it is, that familiar warm feeling in my chest.

* * *

After so many years, I've finally figured out what it means to be a shinobi. It means _endurance._

There is so much turmoil in this world, and it won't ever stop. There will always be hatred and fear and wars, we may never see the end of it. Through it all, people try and find meaning in things. They search for their purpose. Some search forever and never seem to find it because they're searching for a peace that cannot ever exist in this dark world.

But ultimately, everyone finds meaning among the chaos that is life. That meaning comes from friendship, family, spirituality, some sort of object, achievements, you name it. Some people find meaning in darker things like revenge, anger, death. But people cling to those things and decide they're worth protecting, and that's what it means to endure.

To be a shinobi is to walk head on into this continuously turning world of love and hatred, life and death, color and void, and never give up. _Endurance._

Cling to the things you decide are worth protecting and fight for them. Never let them slip away. Always endure.

That is what it means to be a shinobi.

That is what it means to live and to die.


	21. Epilogue

The man who reminds me so much of his father stands tall as one of my best friends presents him with something he's worked for all his life.

His father was a kind man. Memories of him still cause me pain and when I look at his son, even all these years later, I still feel the scar on my hand tingle. It's a memory from my life before; one where I made decisions I will never forgive myself for.

But we all do things we regret, and we need to keep moving on every day. Our mistakes don't define us. If they did, we'd all just be broken fragments without form. 

Our friendships hold us together. The tingle in my palm fades when I turn to the friend at my left and he smiles.

He hasn't changed one bit since we were young ANBU together. Well, except for his name. He begs to be called Yamato now but I still slip and call him Tenzo sometimes. 

Kakashi presents Naruto Uzumaki with the classic Hokage cap, the same one that kind old man who offered me a better life wore often, and the yellow-haired shinobi with whisker marks on his cheeks smiles wide.

Everyone cheers to their new Hokage. My hands clap loudly, a large smile playing on my lips. Kakashi catches my eye and I wave, giving him a thumbs up. 

_He's probably happy to retire,_ I think. _He's always preferred to read, anyways._

I look at all my students who are now teachers themselves. It fills me with a certain warmth unlike any other.

And also, _HOW AM I THIS OLD?_

I could be somebody's grandma.

I find myself chuckling aloud at the thought and Kurenai appears at my side, her daughter in tow. 

I told her, long ago, that I'm not actually her cousin. Just about everyone knows now about my real name, Misaki Kumara, and the life I used to lead.

But like any loving family would, they don't judge me for it. They even continue to call me Mitsuki Yuhi, symbolizing my second chance and new life. 

Across the way, I catch a glimpse of Gai in his wheelchair, still just as full of energy as ever. Nothing, and I mean _nothing,_ can keep that guy down. He never ceases to amaze and inspire me.

I lost many people along the way. People I tried to protect but couldn't--Hiruzen Sarutobi, Asuma Sarutobi, Hayate (I had to live with Yugao for a month after his death because she was so heartbroken). The list is long, but one mustn't focus on the bad things. We have to keep our heads afloat, even when the flood threatens to pull us under.

Though there is heartbreak, there is also _family._ Friendship is too shallow a word for what these people and this village truly mean to me.

We are all shinobi, living in a world of pain and death and all trying to find our way. Our lives becomes broken pieces scattered everywhere and we feel hopeless among other things. Some crawl out from the rubble on the wrong side. They focus on the wrong things and miss what is truly, undeniably important. 

Something we must never lose sight of; something we shall never forget. Something we all need to be reminded of when our lives feel shattered.

Friendship is the glue.

And family, it's the concrete.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for sticking through this whole story! I hope that you enjoyed it. At this point, I'm keeping it as is and ending it here. Hopefully in the future I can come back to it and write more about her life as a Jonin sensei. Until then, dream on. I appreciate all the support on this story. Ja-ne! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! That's it! Thank you so much for going along on this journey with me! 
> 
> It was a roller-coaster of emotions but I hope you can find some inspiration in it.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts in the comments! I'm dying to hear your lovely voices!
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> ~R


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